The Unforgiven

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I completed early this year, never lost my job. Lots of work support. Was incredibly lucky that way. Problem is at home. My wife is District rep for her AA group. We spent $$$ for her to retire early from her state job. Then get her into yoga teacher training program $$$. Each day I come home I feel like she looks at me like I'm the biggest piece of ===== in the world. She can't forgive me for my past DWI, even tho she was the first in our family to get one. I've been trying any way to create harmony and a state of forgiveness in our home. But Separation and Divorce overwhelm togetherness. I'm feeling sometimes going belly up and go away at a sacrifice for my personal happiness may be my best option. Does anyone out there live with someone who holds you to a perfect standard but does not tow that line themselves. BTW last sat she came home @ 0430 in the am after hanging with some friends, only had six pack, and some whisky shots with friends, but she know when she can drive

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Wait I'm confused here...she involved with AA (alcoholics anonymous?) yet drinks? Or does that stand for something different?

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Specializes in hospice.

You need marriage counseling ASAP. If she won't go, go alone.

As AA would tell you, if the problems with her can't be solved right now, your main focus has to be your own sobriety. Whatever that might mean. :( Sorry.

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Specializes in hospice.

After ruminating a bit, I also think you need to report her drinking to her AA higher ups. She should not be in a leadership position in that organization right now. She could be harming other people's sobriety.

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Actually next time she goes out, tip off the cops if you think there's a good chance she's drinking. Then let AA know.

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Specializes in ER, TRAUMA, MED-SURG.

Wow! That's kind of crazy that u got more support from work than your spouse.

That would be kind of hard for me to deal with - she has trouble dealing with your DWI when she got one - please don't take that the wrong way but that's nuts.

Good luck - like PP said wouldn't be a bad idea to seek counseling by yourself if she won't go.

Anne, RNC

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Specializes in CRNA, Finally retired.

Your wife is obviously very sick. Just be mindful of anything you might be enabling and keep your own sobriety first and foremost in your mind. Not forgiving you is just part if her deluded thinking. She's probably pretty disgusted with herself.

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Specializes in critical care, ER,ICU, CVSURG, CCU.

i think you have been given some great advice, love and support to you and your efforts. {{hugs}}

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