Stop the insanity (AKA panic)

They love to wave their arms in the air, yell loudly, and say OH MY GAWD!

What the freaking freak is right?

I have one teacher in particular that always sends mine with a diagnosis. Appendicitis, pink eye, strep, etc.

Monday a kid came in and her slip said "feels like passing out." After questioning her she said "When I'm up walking around I feel ok but when I sit down I just want to fall asleep." These kids crack me up sometimes. That was a laugh or cry about it kinda day.

As a former teacher, I'm patting myself on the back for never having done this. I is smart!

I've seen it happening in action though. Always mentally high-fived you school nurses as the poor soul zoomed by...

Edited to add: And God bless those who have to use the Walkie talkies ... some of the teachers I knew used them constantly. The school nurse was *always* in the first grade classroom one year, poor lady.

The kids who are literally dripping blood down the hall because teacher was in too much of a panic to have the little darling put a tissue to their nose.

Today a teacher brought me her son and asked if his very small knee scrape needed stitches as she was gagging and didn't want to look at it again. No stitches but we might need to amputate...

As I've said before.....EVERYONE is a school nurse......UNTIL there is blood or vomit. Then they back way off and call for the real school nurse ! What in the heck do these teachers do at home. Freak out...call 911 for a paper cut or what ? I have one particular teacher who is 6 months preggo. She brings a kid to the clinic with a runny nose and says:" Little Darling needs to go home, he has a runny nose and...well...you know I'm pregnant". Duh.....yes and so ?? I want to say, you knew you would encounter runny nose, sneezing, coughing kids when YOU CHOSE to become an elementary teacher...right ? And being pregnant has NOTHING to do with this student's runny nose ! Man up !! er....Woman up !!

As I've said before.....EVERYONE is a school nurse......UNTIL there is blood or vomit. Then they back way off and call for the real school nurse ! What in the heck do these teachers do at home. Freak out...call 911 for a paper cut or what ? I have one particular teacher who is 6 months preggo. She brings a kid to the clinic with a runny nose and says:" Little Darling needs to go home, he has a runny nose and...well...you know I'm pregnant". Duh.....yes and so ?? I want to say, you knew you would encounter runny nose, sneezing, coughing kids when YOU CHOSE to become an elementary teacher...right ? And being pregnant has NOTHING to do with this student's runny nose ! Man up !! er....Woman up !!

I have been wondering who they call when the teachers own child needs a diaper change or had and a potty accident in their pants. Every PK and K kid gets sent to the nurse for clean up. My pet peeve, it doesn't take a nurse to hand out a wash cloth and clean clothes.

As a former teacher, I'm patting myself on the back for never having done this. I is smart!

I've seen it happening in action though. Always mentally high-fived you school nurses as the poor soul zoomed by...

Edited to add: And God bless those who have to use the Walkie talkies ... some of the teachers I knew used them constantly. The school nurse was *always* in the first grade classroom one year, poor lady.

I freaking HATE my walki talki!!!!!!!!!!!!

"NutmeggeRN....I have a student who REALLY needs to see you"

"I'm in Room 111" (code word for lunch)

"They said they really need you"

"OK (sigh) I'll be right there"

and then I give the snowflake a Tylenol for the headache she has had since 800 AM...grrrrrr:banghead:

I love panicking teachers because I love to respond with folded hands, doe eyes, no words, and complete calm.

Yesterday a 3rd grade teacher came running to the clinic with student in tow, taco sauce all over his face, shouting, "he choked on a taco chip!!"

3rd grade boy was running, breathing heavily and carrying a Capri Sun straw. True story.

I folded my hands in front of me, blinked, smiled politely, paused for a few seconds, looked at everyone...another 3rd grade teacher was running and panicking behind this scene (I guess they needed assistance).

Then I replied, "so, it looks like everything's under control now. Kevin, when you get back to the lunchroom you should wipe your face. Do you need something to drink?"

Kevin says, "Well, if they'd left me alone, I could've gotten my straw open and had a drink of my Capri-Sun."

hahahahaha

I have shown one of the SPED teachers how to put a hearing aid back on 3 times yet does she ever attempt, no!! Always brings it to me...............

I had no special training in hearing aids, just figured it out on my own.

I get called over to my autism unit at least once daily for a non-responsive student. Half the time, they pass me running down the hallway before I can get to the classroom. I just calmly say "looks responsive to me." The other half of the time when I do actually make it to the classroom - I just say their name and and they respond immediately.

First grader with newly pierced ears: My earring is pinching my ear, the teacher said you could call my mom to bring me tylenol

Me: How about I just adjust the back of your earring?

First grader: But the teacher said you had to call my mom

Me: Let's try my way first, (loosened the earring)

First grader: You still have to call my mom

Teacher called me to ask when the mom was bringing the LD meds. She was shocked that I didn't call mom

First grader with newly pierced ears: My earring is pinching my ear, the teacher said you could call my mom to bring me tylenol

Me: How about I just adjust the back of your earring?

First grader: But the teacher said you had to call my mom

Me: Let's try my way first, (loosened the earring)

First grader: You still have to call my mom

Teacher called me to ask when the mom was bringing the LD meds. She was shocked that I didn't call mom

*waves hands in the air and runs into a wall*