Seriously, WHO does this?

diane227, LPN, RN · Sep 11, 2010

If the manager mentioned any names, he/ she was wrong for doing so. But, one item. Sometimes it is better to come up to a person, take them aside and ask them what is going on and what you can do to help. This brings the matter to their attention at the time it happens and gives them a chance to take stock of their actions. This does not always work. And it is hard to confront people face to face. It is important also to note that if this type of behavior continues that there may be other issues going on with this person and a referral to employee assistance might be in order.

diligent-trooper · Sep 11, 2010

Um... you stated she has done this before? There's your answer.

imagenthings · Sep 11, 2010

I think you just got played. Her strategy was to go to everyone as if she had evidence, namely the manager "told her", and leave you to respond. The third person was not even there. That should have been your clue that she was fishing.

Now you and the manager have been divided because you are shocked by his unprofessional behavior. She got what she wanted. She knows who told on her and she divided the bunch to rule.

gymnut · Sep 11, 2010

One red flag that went up when reading your post is that the nurse said your manager told her who complained about her. Now unless the man was a complete idiot and wanted to create tension he wouldn't have mentioned ANY names in the first place regardless if the 3rd person was on vacation or not. Everywhere I have worked all complaints were confidential. The most likely thing that happened was that she got reamed out and then went sniffing to see who ratted her out. As a former supervisor I have seen this game played many times before and no one was ever the winner.

caliotter3 · Sep 11, 2010

Nothing is to say that others didn't complain long before you did and your complaint was the last one before he decided to approach the person.

emsboss · Sep 11, 2010

As a Supervisor, I agree that you have been "played"... I fully agree with gymnut... Be very careful around this one...

viral2010 · Sep 11, 2010

In our unit there is no anonymity. We follow the "talk to me not about me" rule. When nurses or other staff approach our manger about issues, there is an immediate sit down with the staff in question and thiings are worked out face to face. If nurses or other staff members have issues with each other, it should be worked out face to face, this is the adult way of correcting interpersonal issues.

shiccy · Sep 11, 2010

Two things

One is the employee may have manipulated you. She knew you might have had a problem with her behavior, and you confirmed it when you admitted to it. I had one person do this a while back. One of our nursing aids was being a bit *ahem* lethargic with her duties for about a week and I was trying to see if it was just myself or if others had noticed the same thing (sometimes I'm overly sensitive and if it's not the truth I feel like a butt when I call people out on it.) She said, "So we need to talk. I heard you were talking smack about me." I admitted to it, but explained the above. I was wondering who had ratted me out, but later she told me it was nobody and that she just had a feeling. We've been fine ever since.

The second that may have happened is your manager may be sick of fighting personal battles. Sometimes you just *don't* get along with people you work with... it's the nature of the beast. You're not able to do anything but grin and bear it. He might have told her in hopes that in the future you will tell said nurse to her face that you have a problem with her attitude. I'm not saying it's right, but it's maybe something that happened.

belgarion · Sep 11, 2010

Assuming the manager is not a total moron, the nurse in question was simply fishing and you swallowed the bait hook, line and sinker. That trick is has been around forever, probably because it works so well.

If the manager IS a total moron, you now know not to ever trust him with anything ever again. Either way, it's your "life lesson" for the week.

morphed · Sep 11, 2010

Maybe your manager didn't give names at all. It's possible that your coworker is just testing you to see if you'll admit to it. And she's throwing other peoples' names in there to see what you'll say about them and help her narrow down who it really was. She also probably knows who gets annoyed with her and who is most likely the one(s) to go to a manager. I doubt your manager threw in names of people that weren't even there. It's possible he did say your name, but she's probably adding in extra info to see what she can get out of you.

Altra, BSN, RN · Sep 11, 2010

I had an issue with another nurse's behavior one night. She was ********** things and slamming papers around, muttering under her breath about things not done. This isn't the first time and we have asked her to tone it down, but it hasn't worked. So, I went to my manager and explained to him that she was completely unprofessional and the things I saw. Tonight, she came up to me and told me that he told her it was me that complained about her. She apoligized for her behavior and mentioned 2 other nurses who he said complained. Problem is, one of the nurses he said wasn't even there that day we went to him, she was on vacation. WHY would a manager do this, is he trying to create tension and animosity between shifts? WHAT THE HECK?

OK, I wasn't there, but on first reading I interpreted your post to mean that the nurse got the message that others have found her behavior to be unacceptable and apologized to the specific people involved. The other 2 nurses mentioned may very well have complained about the same behavior on different occasions, strengthening the manager's insistence that she amend her behavior.

I did not extrapolate the manager's intent to create division or other negative intent that other posters seem to have.

If I as a manger had to confront an employee about behavior after others' complaints, it would probably not be my first choice to name names. But if the employee truly didn't seem to understand what I was getting at, or denied the behavior, then I might very well discuss it in concrete terms: "on x date you disturbed _______ and _______ by slamming things, etc. " This is part of clearly communicating to the employee the unacceptable behavior and outlines the changes required to avoid further discipline.

I dunno. Obviously I wasn't there to see the expression, hear the voice tone and all the other nonverbal communication. Just my :twocents: