ConkyTonker

Oho, am I all over this one! Recently, some ignorant person told me that his daughter was starting nursing school at a "real four-year college" so that "her degree would mean something." This SOB said this with a straight face to a person he knows (me), who works in a Level I Neuro Trauma ICU who just happened to go to a lesser, meaningless ADN institution. I don't want to open the ugly can of BSN vs. ADN worms, but what that man said is fightin' words where I come from. Now, I don't have a four-year degree, I don't have a bazillion years' experience (I have just over one), and I will gladly tell you that I don't know everything -- never have, never will. But when the brown stuff hits the fan, and his family member has a Grade 4 SAH, and the RNs and neurosurgeon taking care of his family member are working their b@lls off to save their loved one, will he give a cr@p what degree said nurse has? Just my two cents worth. My name is Conky Tonker, and I'm a proud Neuro Nurse.

I think I would try Memphis.

I'm 34. Nursing is my second career, and I have been a nurse but for one year. This is probably the most corny explanation imaginable, but honestly I got tired of working my tush off for work that really helped nobody. I wanted to do something that really benefited others. I've enjoyed a relatively blessed life and wanted to repay that blessing by showing compassion to others while earning a decent living doing it. I also have a husband and two kids who mean the world to me, and if I have to be apart from my family to help pay our family's way, I wanted my husband and kids to say that mom is out there helping people, as opposed to, "Mom's at work correcting grammar of people more educated than herself and spends 12 hours a day away from us to meet a deadline artificially imposed by greedy corporate Fat Cats." I don't know. Talking to a patient with a GCS of 7T as if they were my next door neighbor and holding a frightened family member's hand through their loved one's potentially terminal traumatic brain injury nourishes my soul in ways that clocking in 9 to 5 for a corporate giant can't. My name is ConkyTonker, and I'm a Neuro Trauma nurse.

After one term birth eleven years ago and two unexplained spontaneous abs within the past 18 mos, I am 25 weeks pregnant with a baby girl. At 9 weeks I had a low lying placenta, and at 18 weeks, a marginal previa. No bleeds yet, though. At my doc visit yesterday, my fundal height was 22 cm, which he conceded was "a little on the small side". I am to go back on 12/30 for another u/s to evaluate this situation further. My weight gain has been poor (5 lbs) despite eating well and a lack of n/v. My son was born at 40 4/7 wks at a robust 3827 grams, with a 41 lb weight gain on my part. I am a 33 y/o non-diabetic, normotensive ICU nurse with no significant medical history aside from the 2 spontaneous abs. I'm trying not to borrow trouble, but after my run of bad pregnancy luck, it's hard. I worry about things like IUGR. At the 18 week u/s, she appeared grossly normal, weighed roughly 8 oz, and was about 8 1/2 inches long, which I understand is pretty good. I guess my question is: how big a deal is it that my fundal height is off? Due to early u/s dating and serial HCG levels, the gestational age is pretty firm. I have a feeling that the next three weeks of waiting are going to drive me bonkers. I've already lost quite a few marbles in my time, sad to say .

You go girl (or guy!)!!!!!!!!!!! I'm soooo jealous. I graduated with honors in May 2005, passed The Boards on 6/2 with 75 questions, and cannot find work. All the internships were full back in April, and Yours Truly was too superstitious to go for one of them. Eh, live and learn.... Congrats to all of you! Wishing you much success in your new careers! Live, laugh, love, Jenny

Prior to graduating from nursing school, my last degree was a Ph.D. from The College of Hard Knocks. I have worked as a secretary for the past ten years. Before that, I worked as a car salesperson, jewelry store assistant manager, bartender. I've done just about everything career-wise except for stripping and carnival work (no offense, exotic dancers and carnies). Live, laugh, love, Jenny

"Live, laugh, love." I'm not a premium member at this time, but I close my posts with what is sort of my personal motto. I guess I feel that if I live each day to the fullest, appreciate the humor life has to offer, and treat others with love, then said day will have been complete for me. Life is precious and soooo short. To me, it only makes sense to treat each day like it could be the last. Live, laugh, love, Jenny

What have patients taught me NOT to do? Here's one...DO NOT run from the law. Even if you don't get shot/tasered/whatevered, you MAY fall down a freeway overpass hill and break your leg or more, only to find yourself handcuffed to the bed at County and still get arrested anyway, only with more charges. Or how about this one...DO NOT swallow illegal drugs in special capsules for hire. You will get caught if you don't die during your entrepreneurial endeavor. You will end up passing them in a special potty with DEA guys looking on. Not only that, but your poo will be placed in this special centrifuge from which said capsules will be extracted and bagged into evidence. When you are finished, you will go to jail, be deported, or maybe both. Live, laugh, love, Jenny

My school's uniforms made us all look like a professional maid service. All white, all the time. Gathered, puffy sleeves, tie in the back, school patch on the sleeve, white athletic shoes. The LVN program fared worse. They got most of the above plus a purple dickey. Live, laugh, love, Jenny

Hey, y'all! I am a May 2005 ADN grad who passed Boards June 2 who has an interview tomorrow for a med-surg job. What questions do you feel are important for me to ask? This and any other advice you think is useful would be greatly appreciated. Thanks! Live, laugh, love, Jenny

And you, in turn, with your kind words, have bolstered my spirits, my friend. I have worn your hat (to use the Redneck Zen I was raised with). Specifically, I attended ADN orientation on a muggy Southern evening, and we were all told as a group what was expected in terms of schedules, time, etc., and I had a major crisis of self-faith. I was soooo scared that I couldn't hack it. At that moment, a good friend of mine came by to chat, right there on the school's steps. I don't remember her exact words, but what I do remember is that she became my "angel" at that time. What happened next was, I told myself, "OK, I'll just TRY it for one semester and see how it works out. " And you know what? At the end of that first semester, my faith in myself and my potential was restored. Once I got past the first part, the rest wasn't easy, but I knew I could do it. Also, no matter how crappy I felt walking in to clinical on Friday afternoon at 2pm, I walked out of there at 11-something and felt so spiritually uplifted by working with my patients and seeing through the deal I made with myself. And I graduated. With Honors. Thanks so much for your encouragement. You are welcome! Believe in yourself, prioritize, do the work, and get plenty of sleep whenever you can. I cannot emphasize enough the presence of a good support system. Count me as your first member! Live, laugh, love, Jenny

skijunkie, I just realized that you are in New Jersey. I am completely unfamiliar with RN programs in your area, as I live in what some people consider the Deep South. Check evening/weekend program availability. I think you need a program that offers that, if you can find one. Cheers, Jenny

"Well I've been looking real hard and I'm trying to find a job, but it just keeps getting tougher every day..." (TM Steve Miller Band, ca. 1975) I graduated May 13, 2005 with a 3.5 GPA, passed boards on June 2, 2005 (with 75 questions no less), and foolishly declined to apply for an internship prior to graduation. My bad. I have a well-paying non-healthcare day job, the same one that saw me through school, so I'm financially OK. Now, I have sent enough resumes to facilities in my metro area that I could have papered my entire kitchen with 'em. Every hospital requires on-line applications, and I complete them, only to have them disappear into The Black Hole in Employment Space. No resume/reference requests, no interviews. Nada. Bupkus. Zilch. It's really starting to get to me. Almost everybody I graduated with already has jobs, most of whom applied for internships well before graduation. I wrongly believed that jobs would be available. At this point, I'm concerned that I will lose both knowledge and skills by not working in the field that I invested blood, sweat, and tears to enter. It's very upsetting, even though I still have my sense of humor. Most of you don't know me, so I'll tell ya, when I stop laughing...that's when the brown stuff hits the fan. What am I missing? Does anyone have any advice? Or are my June attempts at gainful RN employment a reflection of the influx of grads in my area (many nursing schools here). I'm starting to feel like a real loser. Live, laugh, love, Jenny

While it is true that RN programs are full-time, it is possible to work full-time and attend The Program. I am an ADN graduate who chose my particular school not for its stellar reputation, but for its offering of evening classes. Specifically, lecture was usually 5-9pm two to three nights per week, followed by a pre-clinical assignment after work one day, culminating in a 9-hour clinical on Friday night (2-11pm). Grueling, yes, but possible with the right day job and right support system to back you up. Honestly, I only had three nights' worth of lecture during Foundations. The remainder of my program was 2 nights lecture, one preclinical, then the clinical itself. I was fortunate in that my day job allowed me to start the day early, work through lunch, and leave for school in time for 5pm lecture. My day job (non-healthcare, mind you) also let its employees off at 12:00 on Friday, so getting to a 2pm clinical assignment was no problem. I realize that such a day job is rare, but there are other options. For example, many of my school colleagues worked as "techs" in various facilities on 12-hour shifts and coordinated their shifts with school hours. Others were current employees of said facilities, and the facilities made schedule adjustments with the assumption that the student would complete two years of employment as an RN after graduation. I think my point is that options are out there. It takes creativity, a good support system (at work and home), and perseverance. I was in your situation, with bills, a mortgage, a child, food to buy, the whole nine yards. The grueling schedule kicked my butt at times, but I'm still here, aren't I? I entered my program with a 4.0 in the prerequisites (yes, including Pharmacology) and graduated with a 3.5 GPA. I passed The Boards the first time out with 75 questions and am currently seeking employment (that's a story for another campfire). I'm living proof that it can be done. So are my 60-something brothers and sisters who I had the privilege of attending school with. If you need to work while attending school, you can do it! What helped me when the going got tough, and it was often, was to keep my eyes on the prize and to look around me at school, where I saw the faces of all of the other ultra-hard-working men and women who were rowing their boats right next to mine. Work hard, believe, don't be ashamed to ask for help, and shine on. Live, laugh, love, Jenny P.S. Feel free to PM me if you would like more info.

I did. For the duration of my schooling, I worked 40 hrs/week in a non-healthcare job. It was difficult and demanding, but I did it. In fact, many people in my graduating class worked throughout school. We all did it, and you can too! A good support system also helps. My husband, in particular, deserves a gold medal for all of his help with child care, household stuff, etc. Good luck to you! Live, laugh, love, Jenny

Yes. During Pedi, a guy in a different clinical group failed clinical. It wasn't because of his graded work or interactions with patients and staff. No, it was because he showed up to clinical inappropriately dressed (he was wearing scrubs from his day job and "didn't have time" to change into his uniform). The first time he did that, the instructor gave him a warning. The second time, he was sent home, resulting in an absence for the day. This absence put him over the limit of two absences. After two absences, 10% is taken off the grade for the semester. That's what happened to him. Live, laugh, love, Jenny the ConkyTonker, RN (as of 6/2/05)

ITA. I'm newly RN'd and getting ready to interview this Friday. I plan to wear the one suit I can still fit into from my days at a full service financial brokerage house. It's a few years old, but is conservative enough for an interview. If I didn't have that, I would make a trip to the upscale resale shops in my area to find something like it. I live in the extreme South and sympathize with the heat issue, but IMHO one should wear their "Sunday Best" whether applying for a job at Rally's or for a CEO job at a bank. Good luck to ya on your interview! Be honest, be confident...Shine on! Live, laugh, love, Jenny

Ouch, ouch, ouch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I graduated from an ADN program last month. Tuition cost $900-1200 per semester, which is dirt cheap, even given the fact that I paid Out of District tuition (no community colleges serve my school district -- go figure). I worked 40 hr/wk in a non-healthcare job. Still do, and am looking for gainful employment in my new career!!! Eventually I plan to get my BSN, and I know it will cost a heck of a lot more. Good luck to ya! Live, laugh, love, Jenny

First off, thank you so much for your thoughtful posts, prayers, positive vibes, Board congrats, and personal insights. I knew I came to the right place. To clarify, yes, I am 33 years old. I'm pretty sure the 35 year old thing is a guideline, and it has been 14 months since we started trying. There were two conceptions and two losses during that time, the last of which was 22 1/2 weeks ago. After the second loss, my regular OB told me that we will start looking deeper into the situation should a third miscarriage occur. He chalked up the two losses to "bad luck". I understand that three consecutive SAB's is considered the magic number in order to qualify for the horrid term "habitual aborter" (I loathe that term and "incompetent cervix" too, FrumDoula). The second loss was detected during an u/s in my regular OB's office. I'm not sure if I was in full-blown denial or what, but I got a second opinion from my dear friend's uncle, who is an OB/Infertility/R.E. guy, and the pregnancy was indeed lost. He told me the same thing that my regular OB did regarding further investigation being warranted after a third loss. I think it sucks that I should have to go through another miscarriage in order to have this situation investigated. So it has been fourteen months trying to achieve a viable pregnancy. I'm just not sure how the two losses figure into the one-year time frame evaluation for women under 35. In other words, are our five cycles' worth of TTC subsequent to 2 SAB's adequate for an R.E. to run tests or make additional recommendations? Even with all the stress attendant with nursing school, graduation, and Boards, we still managed TTC attempts on days suspicious for ovulation based on BBT and LH surge data. My BBT charts are biphasic, and I get LH surges anywhere from Day 15 to 22 (wide range, I know). I have found spinnbarkheit difficult to assess with the presence of semen from the attempts. I did receive a well woman checkup in January. Normal pap, nothing unusual on internal exam. I take a very good prenatal vitamin, eat a sensible diet, exercise regularly, and make every attempt to get adequate rest. Alison, I'm ordering the two books you recommended next week (i.e., next paycheck). I'm not Jewish -- I'm a Southern Baptist-turned-Theosophist -- but I am wide open to exploring the spiritual aspects of conception, such as the mikvah. I'm all for creating a positive mind/body connection. Also, I find nothing "weirdo" about any of the advice I have received from any of you. I have found every bit of it helpful, and I am very appreciative of your insights. As far as my friends/family making insensitive comments goes, I know their intentions are good. Nevertheless, the platitudes sting, but I try not to hold it against them. After all, they have been blessed by The Divine to never have walked a mile in these shoes. I completely understand the urge to try to comfort someone I love by saying something, anything, even when that "something" probably isn't the most therapeutic. A simple, sincere "I'm sorry" and a hug goes a VERY long way. Live, laugh, love, Jenny

ITA. Pugsweluv, I walked my mile in your shoes last week. I was so sure that I failed with 75 questions. The two days I waited for results to be posted on pearsonvue.com/nclex were almost sheer torture for me too. I picked myself up and relaxed by going to my favorite beach and my favorite restaurant for some conch fritters afterward. I spent time with my boys, ages 32 and 10. I posted here, directing best wishes toward all the others who were waiting and preparing for test taking. The distraction was so sweet, yet my anxiety didn't let up until I actually saw the results for myself. Know this...Hardly anyone feels confident that they passed. Also, you will ride out this torrent of anxiety in your own unique way and will know The Answer to The Question soon. The days/hours are rough, but you will get there. Hang in, sweetie. I'm sending positive energy your way! Been there, done that, proudly own the T-shirt, Jenny the ConkyTonker, RN

Hi, everybody. I passed state boards last Thursday (yay), and now that school and boards are over, I am moving on to my next endeavor, which brings me to my question. I am familiar with the concept that women under 35 should seek medical advice after one unsuccessful year of trying to get pregnant. I'm 33. Should I seek help sooner? I have a ten-year-old son from my first marriage, and my husband of two years and I have been trying for the past fourteen months to get pregnant. We did, exactly twice, and lost both babies -- one at six weeks gestation, the other at eight. We lost our last baby officially on January 31 of this year. I do monthly BBT charting and LH surge testing, beginning on Day 10 of my cycle until a surge is detected. We time conception attempts accordingly, even in the middle of Med-Surg II (sorry if that is TMI). So far, no go. The first pregnancy was lost when I started bleeding profusely right before a Psychiatric Nursing lecture. The second wasn't as dramatic; routine u/s revealed absent cardiac activity in a deceased embryo of 8 week size, resulting in a D&C Jan. 31. We have a fabulous support system, none of whom have experienced the pain of pregnancy or infant loss. Many well-meaning friends and family, in attempts to say the "right" thing, bestow platitude upon platitude upon us: "It was God's way of stopping you from having a deformed/retarded/defective baby," "When it's the right time, it will happen," "Quit worrying about it and you'll have a healthy baby," "You should be happy with the one you have," etc., etc. I have heard them all. I try to have heart, but it's tough, to say the least. I am coming to you for compassionate, evidence-based advice: At what point timewise should our problems be investigated/evaluated? I have read many thoughtful, diverse posts from most of you, and respect the knowledge and wisdom you bring with you from your many combined years of nursing practice. Some of you may have experienced situations similar to mine. I welcome input from both angles. Live, laugh, love, Jenny

Thank you, andre and RainDreamer! Good luck to those of you who are still waiting for results or to take the exam! YOU WILL PASS!!!!! (Thank you for the mantra, grinnurse!)

Hey, y'all! It's me, Conky Tonker. I was so worried about the 75 questions thing. And well... I PASSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you to all for your support and your positive thoughts! You are in mine as well!!!!!!! YOU WILL PASS!!!!!!! In the words of Rocky, "Yo, Adrian!!!! I did it!!!!" Live, laugh, love, Jenny

Worried, yet trying to remain hopeful. My test shut off at 75 questions this morning, and I'm not sure how to receive that. So I have decided to let go, relax, and send good gris-gris to my brothers and sisters who are going to be taking their NCLEX exams soon. May the force be with you all!!! :) Live, laugh, love, Jenny