StillSearchingRN

I'm pretty sure @/username was being sarcastic based on the posts of another user and wasn't calling Covid a hoax themselves.

I'm sorry to hear that @pinkdoves! Please look after yourself, take the time you need, and get the help you need. Leaving nursing was the best thing I could have done for my own self-care, even though it meant having to temporarily go on state-funded health insurance and unemployment. My mental health struggles (anxiety and depression) were in remission through college (even working as nursing assistant while attending nursing school and graduating first in my class) after being so depressed and anxious in high school that I had to attend virtual school, cut myself, and struggled with thoughts of suicide. However, once I got out into working as a nurse, I was overcome with the absurd expectations and lack of support and safety in the "profession" that seemed more about the bottom line $$ and clique-based [donkey] kissing. As a nurse: I put up with being punched, slapped, scratched, bitten, and kicked across the room and then being blamed for "escalating" the situation when I called for help. I was told I wasn't allowed to press charges because "these things just happen" and the patient "wasn't in his right mind". I put up with being told that I was "irresponsible" for calling out the last minute when my grandfather had a stroke and I rush to see him because we were told that it was "time to say goodbye". I put up with being forced to work with an O2 sat of 86% and fever of 102 with audible wheezes and crackles because I would have accrued too many points and would've been fired had I called out. I put up with having my ADA accommodations being declined as being "unreasonable" when all I was looking for was enough time to go to therapy and my prescription appointments (not on a rigorous schedule, either, just enough to get me by). I finally left nursing when I was given the choice of protecting my own health and my elderly, disabled mother's or being transferred out of my non-patient-facing position directly (and without training, even though I have no background in acute care) to the ICU just because I was a warm body with a nursing license. Even amidst the terror and uncertainty of a pandemic and briefly having to go on unemployment before finding a non-nursing job in an entirely different field, I've never been happier or more relieved as when I left nursing.

When I was working LTC, whirlpool bath/shower days were usually care planned on a schedule. Quick bed baths were given at the end of NOC shifts (around 6 am) if the care team (usually 1 RN and 1-2 CNAs) had to get people up before 7-3 (depended on staffing and resident census) or on 7-3 when the 7-3 aides were getting people dressed and up.

I tried that. I had Employee Health and my PCP involved and it was actually my manager who gave me a hard time and ended up firing me due to mental health reasons, stating "we all go through stressful times and you just have to deal with it", turning down my request for ADA accommodation and getting rid of me less than a month before FMLA would have protected my job. It's part of what I state about my dislike of the maltreatment we, as nurses, go through: we're expected to bend over backwards for patient care but no one cares about the caregivers.

Warning, this is a vent: I am just feeling totally fried in nursing, like I've hit a brick wall and-aside from the drop in income to be honest-I don't care if I ever work in nursing again. Unfortunately, I'm 96% done with my BSN at this point, so I'm pretty committed to finishing that so that I at least have a Bachelor's in something. Don't get me wrong, I care about others, but I'm sorry: I don't care enough to risk my mental/physical health or that of my loved ones. I'm not a martyr. I'm tired of the mind games from administration and the verbal/physical abuse I've put up with from patients and their families. I am a hard worker, but when I get sick (like in the ER-before-shift sick and concussion-from-car-accident-coming-to-work "sick") I want to be able to call out without getting the third degree or being threatened that I will be fired/rack up occurrences toward being fired. Speaking of policies, I don't think it's unreasonable to want to work for a place where they are followed by everyone vs the managers' "pets" being given a free pass. I want to feel ethically/morally/legally comfortable in my job, not being encouraged to cut corners "because that's what everyone does" or for cost-cutting or time-saving measures. I want a schedule that 1. won't kill me, and 2. will allow me to actually be off on my time off, not getting called to pick up hours/have some little nit-picky thing brought up that I didn't do/chart/pass along in report that I did but someone interpreted wrong or didn't read my notes or didn't write down when I was giving report. I don't mind working off-shifts (though I'm learning that they're starting to make me physically ill whenever I try these days) or weekends or holidays...to a point...but the sacrifice is starting to get old when there is minimal-to-no extra compensation or even simple appreciation. I don't want to feel like I always have to look over my shoulder/watch my back with my coworkers because they're all looking to find someone else to throw under the bus so that scrutiny/back-biting/cliquey-sorority BS doesn't land on them. I feel like I don't know which way is up anymore, where I want to go in my nursing career from here. I'm currently out of work due to Covid-related health issues that my formed job raked me over the coals for rather than giving me just the two more days I needed before I could return. I've checked out telecommute jobs and jobs in other specialties. I just can't get enthused enough to "sell" myself in cover letters or interviews. I just keep feeling like it will be more of the same: incompetent managers, abuse, martyr-like sacrifice expectations, no life outside of work, etc. I'm afraid that I don't have what it takes anymore.

I have been open-handed palm-forward smacked, open-handed back-handed, punched with a closed fist, pinched (on my breasts, buttocks, as well as just general areas), kicked (once across the room, and then blamed that I "escalated the situation" so it was my fault), slammed against a door and into a corner, and bitten by patients. Management has forced me to come into work following a car accident on my way to work in an ice storm, rebuffed me for rushing to my ill family member's bedside and then attending his funeral, gave me the choice of continuing to work with SOB/chest pain/fever of 102/severe cough/dizziness/no voice or being fired if I went home, and eventually firing me due to mental health issues that had been in LONG remission before working for this particular place.

Maltreatment from patients and employers.

Could be worse: all of my holiday pay came out of my stingy PTO bank AND my old employer "gave" us extra "holidays" (nebulous days before/after actual holidays, but I don't want to say which ones in case it could be used in identifying me) where we absolutely couldn't come in (facility was closed) but they still came out of our PTO. By the time holidays were taken out of our PTO, we had very little sick/vacation time that we could actually use.

As I'm sure some of you have seen, I recently resigned from my position in lieu of being fired due to my own chronic health conditions and those of my immunocompromised, elderly relative living with me in the wake of Covid and being floated from my office position to areas of acute care which I've NEVER worked before and wouldn't be getting any orientation for. I'm fortunate that I have enough savings to be solvent for a year without having to work at all. However, one of my non-nursing friends has really been coming down hard on me, telling me that I've just thrown my career away because I will now have a gap on my resume for as long as Covid lasts. Honestly, I'm ambivalent at this point about returning to nursing: I've been verbally and physically assaulted by patients and then been told to apologize to them because they "were only upset", I was forced to work through a likely-Covid illness with 103 degree temperatures and O2 sats in the high 80s/after a car accident/through a relative's funeral in the past...the list could go on and on. Professional? Hardly! Sometimes I think I'd get more respect working retail during Black Friday than I would in nursing. But I also recognize that I will have to return to nursing at some point to make the bills. I guess the point of writing this is to get support in my decision, since I am financially solvent to do so, or even differing viewpoints about whether I've shot myself in the foot by taking this time off.

I was and I quit. I specifically chose my non-bedside nursing job due to my own preferences, health issues, and lack of potential exposure to things I could bring home to immunocompromised family. When push came to shove, I elected to leave versus being put in an unsafe situation in which I wouldn't normally even be considered qualified for (I.e. "warm body" situation).

If you work for my company, they don't give **mn. Even with physical and mental health contraindications (this has exacerbated my mental health conditions to the point where I've almost ended up hospitalized) for both myself and a relative I care for, I've been given the option to, essentially, "suck it up" or be fired.

Hmm, maybe if my current employer torpedoes my nursing career because my very-real request for accommodations for my own health issues and immunocompromised loved one's health issues keep being denied, I'll go work for Home Depot. They seem to care more about their employees' HEALTH than healthcare entities!

It's what they do if they sign up for that line of work. As everyone is always touting on here, there are many avenues in nursing, many of which DO NOT necessitate putting oneself in direct harm's way or risking one's life because of poor planning on behalf of one's employer.

You're not alone in severe stress and anxiety; I seriously don't know whether I'm going back to my job or even back to nursing at this point. I was hired for a non-acute position, wanted nothing to do with the higher-stress/higher-risk specialties, couldn't even qualify for them if I wanted to at this point with my lack of experience (was even shot down from attempting to apply)...but suddenly, just the fact that I'm a warm body and have a nursing license is enough to float me to the unit or the ER. It's hard to say whether "pissed off" or "scared you-know-what" is higher right now: I have no acute care background, got one 4-hour training session between the two intense/possibly-high-acuity specialties, and am now expected to float whenever they demand me to. I could clock in, thinking it's "business as usual" with my regular position and then be floated. I, too, live with my elderly mother (or, rather, because of debilitating health issues, she lives with me) who is immunocompromised. I just don't know what to do anymore. It's to the point where I'm becoming physically ill due to exacerbation of my mental health issues. On top of it, I'm losing friends who think I'm a coward for not wanting to expose my mother to increased risk and who think I'm a bad nurse for wanting to quit.

I specifically chose an area with limited exposure to the public. Now I am considering leaving because my [insert mega-corporation umbrella healthcare entity] has decided that if you are a nurse---in any role and any experience---you will be shuffled into acute care with limited training and PPE. This is not what I signed up for. I have a high-risk parent at home for whom I am the ONLY (no family, friends) caregiver around. However, I am just short of my 1 year mark, so I miss out on FMLA.