Most off the wall complaint

So I had the kid come in yesterday - the kid that seems to find your nerve and try to work it - and want to argue with me that I wasn't using my non-contact thermometer right because i didn't touch him with it. To appease him (read: get him out of my office) i used the tympanic THEN he proceeded to argue with me because there was a difference of 0.1 degree. Obviously I need to go back to school and study where he went.

"I think I swallowed a bug and I can feel it crawling on my ribs"

"My toenail fell off. Do you have a new one?"-this was my first visit yesterday. He was serious.

"I either lost my glasses today or didn't wear them. My teacher said that you could do something about that"

I had a kindergartner come in once saying he wasn't feeling well. When I asked him what he felt like he shouted "I feel like a potato!."

There were some teachers who had been standing outside the door talking who heard this and started cracking up along with me.

Very random...

Had a student complain of a numb foot and thought it might be gangrene. No injuries on foot at all. I told the student if you have gangrene you will know it.

"I started sweating when I ran"

............how did you get permission to come see me (substitute)

LOL that's a good one:roflmao:

............how did you get permission to come see me (substitute)

I think this is the most overlooked point. Most of these crazy visits should be cut off before they start!

"My head hurts. I think my pigtails are too tight."

10th grade girl. Neither one of us could keep a straight face as I shooed her back to class.

LOL that's a good one:roflmao:

They all are! Just what I needed today.

Thanks, T.

A student once ran to the clinic at dismissal time to let me know that his legs were numb and he couldn't walk. I loaded him in the wheelchair, rolled him to the classroom to get his things, and delivered him to his dad's truck in car line in the wheelchair. He didn't pull that trick again...

"My head hurts. I think my pigtails are too tight."

10th grade girl. Neither one of us could keep a straight face as I shooed her back to class.

10th grade BOY came in c/o headache (with his 80's mullet in a pony).

Me: Well, your ponytail is probably too tight.

Him: *looks at me like I just told him state secrets* Really? That's a thing?

Me: Yep. Take it out, give your hair a shake and go back to class.

Him: Ok!