LONELY

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Hi all, new to this site as a member but have visited it numerous times throughout my nursing school career for help. Im a new grad RN and had a job even BEFORE i took my nclex at a world ranked hospital- I couldn't be more thankful, but Im not even done with orientation and I feel beyond lonely. I live with my boyfriend who works a 9-5 job and I work 3,12 hour shifts ( to which Ill be switching to nights in a few weeks which already has me worried). All our friends went back to live home so we are here with no one not even family and so on my days off I have no one to go hang out with. I also am finding Im getting extremely lonely on my days off I have during the week when my BF is at work and then taking it out on him when he finally gets home ( which doesnt even make sense!) . Its making me depressed and slowly resenting this job that I should be estactic to even have. To top it all off ill be working nights soon and I already feel like i dont see my BF or have a life and im still on days- so freaked out how ill feel when i switch to nights. If anyone has any tips or positive outlooks on how they deal with this change in lifestyle that would be so appreciated. Thank you in advance

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There's no way I can convince you but looking back on my 20's from 50, it was such a long time ago and everything that happened was such a blip. My life has been so full since then that a single year of anything is barely a memory.

Have faith you will have a full life, the next year or so will be behind you before you know it, dig in and get your career rolling and then make whatever you want happen.

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Specializes in PICU.

Find something that brings you joy, i.e walking, running, being outside, knitting, etc, see if there are meet up times. Set a goal to go to the first meet up, the hardest part is starting and getting to that first meet up. Find something that will get you out of the house/apt try and break the cycle.

It is really hard to make that first move, but once you do it gets easier. it will help you meet more people too.

Do you go to church? Sometimes churches have events you could go to.

Good Luck

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I've been where you are before. You need to find hobbies you enjoy that you can do by yourself, and also that you can do at night since you're working night shift. I started sewing...it's fun to me because there are all sorts of projects you can do to fix up your house, and it also isn't the kind of thing that you could do by yourself but would probably be more fun with your friends (I found this to be the case with some outdoor activities, they'd end up reminding me that my friends were far away).

Also, always have a trip planned home, even if it has to be six months away. Just knowing that it's coming up will give you something to look forward to. Don't lose touch with the people you care about, make an effort to call or text several times a week. It's way too easy to lose touch.

As far as making new friends goes, I have no advice. I haven't made a real new friend in years. Ha but I'm okay with that!

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Do some volunteer work for those less fortunate. Not only can you occupy yourself doing something productive, you will find people to socialize with while you are busy outside of yourself.

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My dtr founded a Stitch And ***** group, where the members got together once a week, had lunch, and knit while they chatted. Great group, and she met some wonderful women who turned out to be long-term friends.

I'll bet if you went to a local yarn shop and asked, they'd tell you how to hook up with one. As a bonus, you could start on small, easy things like baby hats and blankets for women's shelters and nurseries, and there you'll meet even more good people.

Remember the Seven Rules of Tankers (for crew): one is "You are responsible for your own entertainment." :)

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Does your employer have an employee assistance program? Make the time to go and speak with someone before you start resenting your job.

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Specializes in Oncology.

Take some time to get get used to everyone at your new workplace. I moved back to CA and I didn't know anyone when I moved out here. And then four months into my job I transferred hospitals. So for a good while I didn't know anyone. Right now I've been working at my current hospital for about 9 months. Everyone is really nice where I work, but I never really socialized with anyone. Then I got my work wife and we both work nights, but opposite days except we have every Sunday-Monday off. So Mondays are our designated activity days - hiking, going to the zoo, jogging, or just getting something to eat. Just doing one thing with someone makes a big difference. My dog is one of those super social pitties that makes friends with all the neighboring businesses, so on our morning walk she basically makes social calls to her favorite hotel valet staff and bar. My bf is also pretty used to me working vampire hours, but I'm also one of those independent minded people that enjoys some personal time alone. I have all these project that I want to do but can't seem to find the time for - I want to knit hats and blankets for my onco/end of life patients, take some more online photography classes, and get back into working out. The sky's the limit! You just have to find out what interests you!

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Going through changes means stress, even if the change is good.

Social life changes once you leave school and start a real job. It will not be like college where people had free time and were all around you.

Do you have any hobbies? Can you meet other people with similar interests on your days off?

Exercise? It is a mood booster, and I know several people who join running groups for some social interaction.

Keep in touch with your old friends. I wish I had done this.

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Specializes in nurseline,med surg, PD.

Join a gym and take classes such as zumba. Its fun. Or volunteer at the animal shelter, help dogs, make friends, Go outside and walk and greet people, go to a mall and window shop, the hustle and bustle will make you feel less lonely. Call your relatives, go to a park and walk. Make it a habit to be friendly to everyone you meet. Join meetup.com

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Go for a hike nearby, go to the gym, take a book to the park, join a class about something you've never learned, e.g. dancing, cooking, painting. Try and get out as much as possible. Go to the library. Also try to make a date night once a week with your bf if you're having trouble spending quality time. If you don't want to go out for dinner, try cooking something together then go for a walk afterwards. Squeezing in quality time is important for your relationship

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Specializes in Family Practice.

I think one of the best things in life you can learn how to do is to be comfortable enough with yourself to do things alone and be satisfied. I suppose some of it has to do with your personality. Some people are really extroverted and can find friends anywhere. But people like myself are more introverted but I don't mind being alone. I go to movies alone, eat alone, travel alone at times. Being alone doesn't necessarily have to mean being lonely. I think others have given you good ideas, to find a hobby or sport or something. Look for groups in your area that you can join for events like maybe a young professionals' group.

As far as night shift goes, probably your best bet is to tough it out that first day and only sleep a few hours so you can get back on a day schedule. When I first started nursing, I was nightshift but I stayed up all night. It was a very quiet existence because most people aren't up past midnight. haha. It was tougher to switch back and forth but it made doing things easier.

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