I have an idea...

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Specializes in ER.

I have an idea, let's treat our core staff like crap, let's put up with our laziest staff members, let's drive hard-working people away, then we can hire high-priced agency nurses, that should solve our staffing problem and teach those ingrates a lesson. 

Specializes in Cardiology.

I've never been a financial guy but it made no financial sense to me to not offer your in-house staff special pay and bonuses first before going to agency. Will everyone sign up? Probably not but if the pay is right I think a majority would. 

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
2 hours ago, Emergent said:

I have an idea, let's treat our core staff like crap, let's put up with our laziest staff members, let's drive hard-working people away, then we can hire high-priced agency nurses, that should solve our staffing problem and teach those ingrates a lesson. 

Sorry, Emergent, but this idea is not yours, I.e. you are not the first to come up with this idea.

If memory serves me correctly, the corporation which owns Wrongway Regional Medical Center came up and patented this idea in 1492, while trying to find a shorter route to apathetic American capitalism.

However, you could call it put the word "deluxe" on your idea, reduce services but charge more for them, and be back in the game!

Go Team!

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).

I did a rough to advertise your product, Emergent:

 

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We could get a whole ad campaign going with mascots, jingles, etc.

I'll have my guy get in touch with your guy.

And hey- let's do lunch.

Specializes in school nurse.
4 hours ago, Emergent said:

I have an idea, let's treat our core staff like crap, let's put up with our laziest staff members, let's drive hard-working people away, then we can hire high-priced agency nurses, that should solve our staffing problem and teach those ingrates a lesson. 

Don't forget to increase the lazy staff's PTO so they can call in more...

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).

Since I haven't heard from you in almost an hour, Emergent, I went ahead with a packaging and promotion idea:

 

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5 hours ago, Emergent said:

I have an idea, let's treat our core staff like crap, let's put up with our laziest staff members, let's drive hard-working people away, then we can hire high-priced agency nurses, that should solve our staffing problem and teach those ingrates a lesson

     This has become the trend in the last 15-20 years.  Initially, I thought it was only the hospital that I was employed at until I became a travel nurse and witnessed the same short-sighted, management model everywhere.  Like OUxPhys, I'm not a numbers person either and it seems to be a very costly strategy for hospital systems.  What are we missing because everything in healthcare today is motivated by money?

5 hours ago, Emergent said:

I have an idea, let's treat our core staff like crap, let's put up with our laziest staff members, let's drive hard-working people away, then we can hire high-priced agency nurses, that should solve our staffing problem and teach those ingrates a lesson. 

I will bring a whole keg of ? for these smarty pants to cry in and wail about being gouged and will fake-solemnly serenade them with the world's tiniest ?.

Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).

Okay: The jingle!

 

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Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
43 minutes ago, morelostthanfound said:

 What are we missing because everything in healthcare today is motivated by money?

St. Anomaly's Health Center, in the nearby town, had an impeccable record for years, as my Mom  and Little Bro worked there since the mid/late 70's.

Then, in the early 'aughts, its reputation fell and I heard some bad press about it.

Several years ago, St. A's was bought out by another company and its reputation has improved immensely. After being fired & retired from Wrongway, I had to seek a new PCP and went to a St. A's Doc, who is also my medical wife Belinda's PCP.

Belinda and I have both received services there and give them a top rating.

I am hoping that St. A's is the example for what can happen to hospitals once they recover from all the current crap that has plagued facilities for as long as two decades, or more.

13 hours ago, Emergent said:

I have an idea, let's treat our core staff like crap, let's put up with our laziest staff members, let's drive hard-working people away, then we can hire high-priced agency nurses, that should solve our staffing problem and teach those ingrates a lesson. 

You, my friend, will go far in administration.

If by chance your pay scale is currently based on qualifications, certifications, and objective metrics, stop immediately.  Adopt a system based strictly on longevity.  This will freeze the pay of those most qualified, and give the biggest raises to the weakest. 

I like this approach.  Thinking of investing in a travel nurse company.

Specializes in Medsurg.

I'm one of those high paid nurses you talk of??

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