Feeling so defeated

[lintx]

I really need advice or at least encouragement. I am feeling really sad and down. I am about four weeks into my first semester of nursing courses and I feel so excluded from my classmates. In fact I am pretty sure a few of them straight out dislike me and I don't know why!

I have been friendly to everyone and really tried hard to be likeable the first couple of weeks but I guess I just don't fit in with anyone. There are a few nice people that will chat with me when no one else is around but that's pretty much it. I sort of feel like one of those pack animals on the discovery planet that were kicked out of their group and left to die. I just want to make it through school and graduate to help my family but it makes my day so hard feeling like an outcast and a loner. I don't get it because I have never had this problem before.

People have always tended to like me. I am happily married and busy with my kids but I do have some pretty serious and depressing issues going with a terminally ill mother, so maybe I am putting off a bad vibe. I DO NOT talk about my life to my classmates though and try to stay friendly and cordial. I made the mistake of adding some classmates to my Facebook because they had formed a group there. After I figured out that some people from class were going through my profile all the way back to 2010, I decided to set it to private except for my family and old friends. This apparently offended some people and one even sent me a message asking me why she couldn't see my profile! Which means that she had to purposely search my name to figure that out.

I finally deactivated my entire account just so I wouldn't possibly offend someone else. There has already been drama that has affected the whole class stemming from that Facebook group and I do not want to be a part of any of it. I feel like I am in survival mode at the moment. I have come home and cried the last two days and I even at ate lunch alone and cried today. It is pathetic! I feel like I am in jr high again and don't know how I will survive the next two years like this. Please tell me I am not alone 3

[Hygiene Queen]

This is only for the short term!

Continue to be friendly and polite but I would not spend anymore time worrying about them.

Most of the friendships that are struck up in nursing school, do not even last once it is over.

Find your comfort in the the people who already know and love you and consider school as strictly business.

You are not alone.

[LoriRNCM, ADN, ASN, RN]

Hang in there, nursing school will bond your cohort, at least those that can hang with it! You are there for your degree so don't lose sight of the big picture.

[dudemursebrah2b]

i'm going through the same thing minus the marriage, kids, and sick mom (sry bout that). everyone wants to feel like they belong, and it hurts when they don't. all i can say is keep being awesome and don't let what others think about u affect you too much. on top of studying, classes, and family, it would definitely be worth while to pick up a hobby that you're into. the gym is also a good place to be. i also agree with a lot of what these other posters are saying. the situation is only temporary. i'm sure u'll do fine in the long run. best of luck. sending good vibes.

[loriangel14, RN]

It's only been four weeks.Give it time.

[HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD]

Your nursing education is an individual journey - not a group activity.

Although it may be comforting to belong to a group, those that are formed early in this journey are social & will not contribute any value in the long run. Just wait a while and watch (from a safe distance) as the drama unfolds... when some of the 'group' fail a class while others do well; when some don't come to class & expect the others to cover for them; when the sniping and gossip begins to ramp up . . . trust me, you are much better to be out of it.

As you move though the educational process, you will become more acquainted with students that share your common interests and values. These are the connections that matter - and are much more lasting.

[traumaRUs, MSN, APRN]

Agree with above - don't sweat it. After 20 plus years out of nursing school, I can't remember a single person and only one instructor! I too was married, with kids and deployed husband. Don't stress it - do what you have to do and forget the others.

[rmoreno26]

Focus on getting better grades than them! Aim for 100% on all your tests!

When your in the ER and your trying to save someones life your going to want to remember what you learned and not be thinking about some yahoos who didn't want to play nice.

[lintx]

Thanks for the replies and helping me put things in perspective everyone! I was obviously having a really bad day but am feeling much more confident now. At the end of the day I am there to better myself and the lives of my family. I am very serious about school and plan to stay that way. Besides, I have enough support at home and here on allnurses :)

[john1923t]

I am a 54 yr. old Male, I decided to go into nursing school 4 years ago, I was an outsider with no prior medical skills, most of my classmates were/are females 20 to 30 years old, and I felt out of place, but as time went on everyone accepted me as one of the class, although there were a few who never said much to me at all, soon everyone realized that I knew what I was doing and I wasn't going to bite, I became a source of knowledge they relied on . Don't worry about being " IN" some group, concentrate on you and your needs, because every semester the groups are splintered, to different classes, different class times, different clinical sites, some drop out so it is a changing dynamic all of the time. keep doing what you are doing and you will be accepted, and you will be fine. I Know.

[haileyjewell]

I don't really have any "friends" yet either and I'm in my first semester. I just try to be nice to everyone and if someone acts like they don't like me, I don't let it get to me or think twice about it. I have to tell myself that I am doing this to learn the skills I need to know.