considering quiting current new case

[undefeated-lvn]

so I recently just got hired at a new home health pediatric agency for private duty.

I'm currently working for a famiy that appears to be very friendly for the most part, I work night shift Saturday and sunday only...

the problems I'm having in particular is that after only my third day the mother gave a heartfelt story out of the blue of ALL the other nurses that didn't work out for the most part she made it appear as if it were the nurses fault.ex: being unprofessional,leaving the home without permission ,nurses freaking out because the client gb came out .....she then proceeded after ony my third day to tell me that I reminded her of her other nurse that worked with her for years but had to leave due to her going back to her country..

iv been doing pdn for quite some time so I kinda got the vibe the mother is sneaky and may appear nice on outside but gossips about the nurses to to other nurses.so it isn't a stretch that she would gossip about me

I reframed from engaging in talking about other nurses,and simply responded to her horror stories of the nurses from the past "that hopefully things sort themselves out and sorry to hear what happened".

she has a nurse that has been with her for years and to me the nurse is very comfortable supposedly she babysits her other kids on her OFF DAYS,she also has went on family vaction with them,and the mom told me she always come in a hour late but its okay to just let her know because she doesnt "dock her nurses" .the mother invited me to her church but I never went because I want my job to stay in boundaries I don't want to be a friend I want to be a nurse to the client that's why I'm here if she do ask personal questions I keep it limited and always quickly switch conversation to the client...

now forward 1 month later the parents are starting to question me ..

like tonight when I came in the father nicely asked me did I give the client a med that was due in morning ..I told him yes and even mentioned that I opened the new bottle because the old one had very little liquid medication left in bottle...

he responded "okay great" ...but minutes later down the hall I hear him telling his wife that he asked and what I had said....

another thing I noticed the day before my shift tonight was yesterday morning as I was brushing my clients hair the mother was holding her head as I brushing her hair due to her having( cerebral palsy/non verbal ) the mom holds her neck and Im usually the one that brush her hair.. yesterday my client turned her head to me as I was brushing her hair and looked back at her mom...I didn't think much of it because she does that quit often from what I see..i just smiled at her and said I'm almost done ..

but the mother looked at her and made the comment "whats wrong you can tell mommy you wont get in trouble"

I was shocked the mom said that ..my client only smiles with either her mom and dad even the nurse that orientated me that's been with the family 6 years even that night she didn't smile to her ,but I'm also getting the sense the parents feel if the daughter smiles constantly like how she do with the parents then the client must like the nurse..when in actuality I feel she doesnt really smile at the nurses voices only her parents..

sorry for long post I'm just needing advice on would you stay or leave.

thank you

[NurseCard, ADN]

No, I wouldn't quit, not yet. They really haven't given you any reason

to quit, from what you post here.

I mean, they may not fully trust you yet, but you've only been there

for a little over a month? Right? You are still in the process of

earning their trust, is the way I see it. Plus, apparently they

expect their nurses to be MORE than just nurses.. apparently

they expect their nurses to be like part of the family, going on

outings, going to church with them, etc.. Because that's

against your policy because you have certain boundaries that

you feel nurses shouldn't cross... and I AGREE with you...

but because of that, perhaps they are more wary of you.

Still, I wouldn't quit. Continue to keep your boundaries.

Continue to focus on taking care of the little one.

[undefeated-lvn]

yeah you're probably right the family don't really know me ...that's why when my boss called me in the beginning telling me how much the family loves me after 3 days I knew things can quickly flip and I didn't really think much of it ...

what her other nurse do I'm not willing to do ,so if the parents are leery of that because of my privacy then so be it...

I guess I just got over paranoid when the mother made that comment to her daughter in front of me..

and then come in to shift tonight and get questioned on if iv given her med...ill try to stay until I actively seek and find another case..

thanks for your reply.

[traumaRUs, MSN, APRN]

Moved to PDN forum

[caliotter3]

I think that you would do well to listen to your instincts here. The handwriting on the wall is becoming more visible with each 'situation'. These people are letting you know what is going to happen to you in due time and they are not being very subtle.

[Jedrnurse, BSN, RN]

Borderline Personality Disorder-ish...

[undefeated-lvn]

Very true, thank you for your reply.

[undefeated-lvn]

Hello, I'm sorry who was that in reference too?.

[matcha-cat]

Borderline Personality Disorder-ish...

I feel like I hear people use this way too much for any person who has a bad attitude, particularly on this website.

[amoLucia]

It's an old time-y trick to try pitting staff against each other by planting falsehoods and rumors. Insecure and manipulative family members (and coworkers) often use this trick as an attempt to worm their way into controlling others.

When you've sensed something amiss, it set off those red warning flags for you. I think I agree with those who advise you to listen to the warnings. I'd distance myself from the case as soon as poss. JMHO.

Nursing is so trouble-y that I wouldn't want to take any chances , esp in homecare, where a 'they said' will always win out over you.

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

It sounds like you want to leave.

[Jedrnurse, BSN, RN]

I feel like I hear people use this way too much for any person who has a bad attitude, particularly on this website.

A bad attitude is being grumpy, rude and the such. This level of splitting/manipulation is not an attitude. It's behavior, and pretty consistent of those with BPD.