You know its a seeker when . . .

Yeah,

When you don't even have to ask them half of the health history because you got it memorized!!!!!

1. They are out of their Lortab but still have plenty of their 'blood pressure' medicine (that they can't remember the name of).

2. They say they are supposed to take their "xanexes" four time a day but don't take them that much.

3. They are 21 years old and on disability for their "nerves".

In a PACU? They've come for a really minor procedure and complain incessantly of "unbearable" pain post-op. The anaesthetist gives them morphine, or sometimes a little Fentanyl, to no apparent effect. MEANWHILE....the BP's normal, the pulse is slow and steady, the patient dozes in between, then opens his/her eyes, looks around for the nurse, makes sure she's close by, then starts moaning with "pain" again.

On a side note, I heard a wonderful conversation between an A-P and a patient which took place during a pre-op visit.

A-P: "Mr X, I see you're on medication for your blood pressure, what's the name of that medication?"

Patient: "Oh Doctor, I can't remember the name. It's a little white pill."

A-P: "And how long have you been using this little white pill?"

Patient: "About 4 years, Doctor."

A-P: "Ok, I see you're a smoker. What brand of cigarettes do you smoke?"

Patient: "I smoke Rothman's, Doctor."

A-P: "So you've been using a pill that can save your life for 4 years and you've never found out the name, but you can remember your brand of cigarettes? Sir, you'd better decide what's more important, whether you can live knowing the names of your chronic medicines, or die knowing what cigarettes you smoke!"

@GHGoonettem, its been a little while since I laughed that hard, I appreciate your input.

I'm not an ER nurse, but unfortunately I've had to go in a couple times when I've had kidney stone pain beyond what I can cope with and the urgent care is closed. The second time I told the nurse "The only thing that seems to help this kidney stone pain..." and at this point I can see the shoulders slump, the eyes beginning to roll, and then I continue..."is Toradol". Her whole demeanor changed! Once I was not writhing in pain we shared a good laugh about how sure she was that I was going to say Dilaudid or Vicodin or something. Truth is, hydrocodone does not touch my kidney stone pain and just makes me feel awful. Torodol is a wonder drug for me. I actually declined a script for vicodin the ER doc wanted to send me home with. No thanks.

I'm not an ER nurse, but unfortunately I've had to go in a couple times when I've had kidney stone pain beyond what I can cope with and the urgent care is closed. The second time I told the nurse "The only thing that seems to help this kidney stone pain..." and at this point I can see the shoulders slump, the eyes beginning to roll, and then I continue..."is Toradol". Her whole demeanor changed! Once I was not writhing in pain we shared a good laugh about how sure she was that I was going to say Dilaudid or Vicodin or something. Truth is, hydrocodone does not touch my kidney stone pain and just makes me feel awful. Torodol is a wonder drug for me. I actually declined a script for vicodin the ER doc wanted to send me home with. No thanks.

I find anti-inflammatories can handle most pain levels, and only the really painful ops, like lap-choles or nissens, ie painful enough to cause extreme discomfort but not rated painful enough to merit epidural, really need opiates. I always found, although it's regarded as "outdated" today, that an IM dose of Pethidine 1mg/kg body weight followed immediately by Voltaren 75mg IM, was good enough for pretty well anything!

The anti-spasmodics are great for kidney pain, but I cannot for the life of me remember the name of the one we used to give in emergency; it wasn't Buscopan. OH, my memory!

When there is a drug guide on their bedside table. One guy had lippincott's drug guide.

the one's that truly amaze me are, the one's that come in with all the drama and they know the housekeeping by name

here are a few of my favorite jokes... told by several of my colleagues...

what do you get when you take ecstasy and birth control pills?

a trip without the kids

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what are the first five words a crackhead in a three piece tailored suit hears?

"will the defendant please rise"

When they come in with a vague complaint of back pain, no apparent distress and an out of county address. 3 crackheads are in a car, who's driving?The cop.

I am allergic to everything but dilaudid. Heard this one more than once. The order is for morphine and they say I am allergic and everything else offered to them they are either allergic too or it does not work. These folks usually start ripping the iv needle out of their arm and go AMA.

Wuh, I would never call anyone with a kidney stone a seeker, been there done that, hauled xxx to ER. I WOULD RATHER DIE SUDDENLY THAN GO THROUGH IT AGAIN!