Trying to pick myself back up

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So I was supposed to have NCLEX today. Unfortunately I ended up in the ER instead due to a surprise kidney stone. The staff at the testing center was very nice and suggested I might not have to pay the fee again. Unfortunately NCSBN allows no exceptions. I get why they do it and technically its correct as I signed the paper for it; they can't resell my exam seat. It still feels kind of heartless considering the profession they represent. I'm lucky enough to have $200, but I can't say it won't hurt my finances.

I'm more worried about my state of mind at the moment. I'm beyond bummed as this is the 2nd time I missed my date due to illness(the first one I rescheduled). Physically and emotionally I'm drained. I need ideas for getting myself back into a positive state of mind. What do you guys do when you've had more than a few bad days in a row?

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Specializes in Critical Care, Education.

Never mind NCLEX - how are you? I can only imagine how awful you must feel. Hopefully, a lot of your depression will lift when your physical health returns to normal.

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I feel like I went off a cliff emotionally. I spent two hours crying and rocking back and forth in a fetal position before the pain was controlled, I'm upset because I've worked so hard to get here, I feel like my body betrayed me to an extent, and then someone told me I'm really very sorry, but you needed to cancel 24 hrs in advance. I don't know why but it just made me snap. I'm not angry at them, I'm overwhelmingly sad. I've never had something like this happen before and I'm not really sure where to begin to deal with it other than putting one foot in front of the other.

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Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
I feel like I went off a cliff emotionally. I spent two hours crying and rocking back and forth in a fetal position before the pain was controlled, I'm upset because I've worked so hard to get here, I feel like my body betrayed me to an extent, and then someone told me I'm really very sorry, but you needed to cancel 24 hrs in advance. I don't know why but it just made me snap. I'm not angry at them, I'm overwhelmingly sad. I've never had something like this happen before and I'm not really sure where to begin to deal with it other than putting one foot in front of the other.

Really sorry this happened to you. Don't underestimate the importance of putting one foot in front of the other! That is actually a very big deal. Your body is still dealing with the pain, so your emotions will probably be out of whack for a while, and the lost fee will loom less large in your mind as you start to feel better. Corny as it sounds, counting blessings and forgiving ourselves for those things that are not our fault (like kidney stones) will help. Give it time, realize you can't change what happened and schedule some fun distractions for when you're up to it!

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Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.

((HUGS)) It comes in bunches...feel better ((HUGS))

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In five or ten years, or even one or two, this will be a funny story you'll tell. Really, you will.

Let it go-- if this is the worst thing that happens to you in your life, you'll be a lucky woman. :)

:hug: It'll be alright.

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Update: I took my exam on Friday and I got the quick results today. I passed! It took me a few days to get over what happened but as I improved physically my mental state improved as well and I wasn't as upset. Sure the $200 sucked, but one of the people at state board helped me get a new ATT next day and I was only delayed by 2 weeks. The test itself was hard, but on par with all of the HESIs I had taken previously as part of school and I finished in 75 questions. The worst part was the anticipation and the waiting. Thank you for all your support and encouragement!

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Congratulations!

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