Things they didn't teach you in CNA class.

practice, practice, practice

They don't tell you about projectile farts in the class movies either. Got an up close and personal lesson in that last week. Which makes the lesson about extra scrubs a very good point!

One man on my floor is very alert and oriented, just physically has a lot of issues. He's not continent per se but can go on purpose when he wants. He had already had a loose BM when I rolled him away from me and then he squeezed out a huge fart and blew it all over! Mostly it got the bed but I wasn't quite quick enough. Gross!!!!!!! I jumped back and asked him if he was done and he just laughed and squirted out another one. You won't see THAT trick in any training video!

"One man on my floor is very alert and oriented, just physically has a lot of issues. He's not continent per se but can go on purpose when he wants. He had already had a loose BM when I rolled him away from me and then he squeezed out a huge fart and blew it all over! Mostly it got the bed but I wasn't quite quick enough. Gross!!!!!!! I jumped back and asked him if he was done and he just laughed and squirted out another one. You won't see THAT trick in any training video!"

I had a lady that used to do something like this. Everytime we rolled her over, she would fart really loud and blow out some BM. She did it on purpose. We started holding the pad over her behind until she couldn't get any more out then proceed with the cleaning.

This is gross, but she would fart so hard sometimes that the (cloth/washable) pads would puff out like a balloon.

Wow, I've been working a ton-you guys got all the good ones! Ok, here's some left overs-if someone smiles and grabs a part of your anatomy covered by a bathing suit at the beach, don't let them-they're not grabbing the middleaged male activities guy.........................use a hoyer, for God's sakes, don't save two seconds and kill your back. If someone says they're going to hit you, believe them!

If you're in the middle of talking to someone and they suddenly stop and get a horrid look on their face, get out of the way.

They're about to puke on you.

I wish I had been told that 98%, OK 99.9% of my coworkers will not be like the ones in the lame dvd's. You know the ones where you ask them to help you and they say, "Yes!" (with a big smile and overflowing enthusiasm). In reality, you will get a scowl and hear a lame excuse and be told, "No, because I have not taken my break."

How valuable an extra pair of scrubs can be.

I wish i was told that too. That has been one of the biggest surprises about the job so far.

If you need to straighten someone out in a wheelchair, recline the chair back far and then tug on the wheelchair pad to reposition their bottom.

Carry a wad of gloves in your pocket in case you need them

crazy stuff, im about to start my CNA class in a few weeks!

FUN FUN

:)

Put lotion around the edge of the bedpan before putting it under anybody. It keeps it from sticking to skin, which prevents sloshing.

Or put a plastic bag over the bedpan. You can turn it inside out when the resident's done and you don't have to clean the bedpan. And you can line a bedside commode with a plastic bag, too.

If your resident doesn't want to change their dirty pull up, "accidentally" tear it.

This is mean, but it works. If residents won't bathe, tell them exactly what they smell like and how many people have complained. They get embarrassed and cooperate (if they're oriented).

If you are cleaning/changing residents and it's their shower day, go ahead and give them a bed bath. It only takes a few more minutes and you save all the effort of a shower.

Make sure you learn each resident's preferences and be good to them. It makes them happy and cooperative. A few small "treats" every now and then can make all the difference in a resident's happiness.

I had one LOL who had a gum obsession. I would buy her a value pack every couple of weeks and she was absolutely ecstatic. I had another LOL who was diabetic and didn't get any sweets, and I would bring her a couple of sugar free candies every so often. She loved them! One LOM didn't like for his head to get wet in the shower so I would cover his head with a towel during the shower and wipe his head down with a damp cloth (he was almost bald). These little things didn't hurt me any and made the biggest difference to my little old people.

Thanks Samantha! Lots of good advice and sometimes you gotta do what you just gotta do!

You're welcome!

Different programs probably do different things, but..

My class years back really should have had at least some insights into handling bad families. I also think they teach this as if you are going to be working ONLY in a nursing home and do not go over ALL the places CNAs work like psych units, home health, etc.