FutureNrse

I've posted in the past about my nephew/godson who died several years ago, at less than one week old. He spent that whole week in the NICU, and your post made me recall how I felt about visitors. I really think that it should be very limited. Mom and Dad, should be allowed in at all times, but anyone else should be kept to a bare minimum. I know that I would have been terribly sad if I hadn't been able to see him, but if it was better for him that I not visit, I would have dealt with it. At the time, I remember being concerned about the amount of visitors, and well...the type of visitors. My brother-in-law, the baby's father, had many family members there at any given time, and while they were nice folks, all there out of love for the baby, most of them weren't very clean. The younger adults had usually been drinking, though I wouldn't say they were drunk. There were many children, of all ages as well. It did worry me. We were all instructed how to scrub before entering, but we were not watched, and I think we should have been. All of the children were allowed in at some point, and I was concerned because kids just naturally have colds and such. You get 15 or 20 kids together and chances are one of them has something contagious. I don't recall the exact numbers, but we were allowed in, a few at a time, as long as Mom or Dad were present. I think it would be better to limit the visitors. Sick babies need rest, not visitors. Mom and Dad need to concentrate on the child, not on great aunt Mary. Depending on circumstances, other family and friends, can be allowed in, once, for a brief visit, especially if the child is terminal, but the bulk of the time should be just parents and child. If the NICU stay is to be a short stay, then other visitors shouldn't be allowed at all. They can wait until the child is transferred to a regular room, or goes home. Last of all, nurses have enough to deal with as it is without having to worry about visitors. Hospitals should set the rules, and be firm about them, even hiring security to see them enforced, so nurses can spend their time doing what they're paid to do. Just my two cents worth

After all I've been through with herniated disks, and no one believing that I was in agony, I would never knowingly discount anothers pain. I feel guilty though, because unknowingly, I had some very negative thoughts about Fibromyalgia. I know very little about it, but it seemed to me that it appeared in the news overnight and suddenly EVERYONE had it. I had a physicians assistant tell me that it was basically made up, a catch-all for people in pain for no reason. I'm ashamed to say that I believed him. Since then, I've learned more about it and I know now that it is very real, and very painful. I wish there was a way to stop the negative press about this disease. It will never be taken seriously until people understand how real it is. It's one of those unfortunate things with no middle ground, either a doctor goes overboard and tells every patient he can't take the time to diagnose properly that they have it, or the doctor refuses to believe it exsists and ignores the patients with obvious signs of it. I hope more research is done and released soon, so the poor people suffering with it will be recognized as having a legitimate condition. Thanks Dave, for starting a thread to get the word out.

You could be right about pain being an issue. Elderly people don't always report pain to begin with, but in some cases they might confuse pain with anxiety if they aren't verbalizing well. Finding the cause of her anxiety before treating it is a good idea. If the anxiety is related to her diminishing mental status, maybe trying a little reminiscence therapy might help. Just make sure you know what you're doing or you could cause more anxiety. For example, don't ask a specific question, such as "Do you remember your 21st birthday?", instead, ask a more general question, such as " what was the best birthday gift you ever received?". It can be comforting to remember the past, especially when memory has become an issue, but it can be troubling if a direct question is asked, but cannot be answered. So keep it simple and build on her answers. If she mentions a certain gift, ask her to tell you about it, prod her memory a little to see if she can link it to other details, such as her age at the time, where she lived, etc. Take it wherever she wants it to go. Bring it up the next day, and keep reminders gentle so she doesn't feel like she's being grilled, or that it's a big deal if she forgot you were even discussing it the day before. I've seen this used in LTC settings with great results. I interned at a LTC facility for a short period of time and loved working with the elderly. Also, as a child we cared for several relatives in our home, and found that talking to them about anything and everything is the best medicine. Good luck, and keep us posted on her progress.

Years and years ago, I worked for In Home Supportive Services, and had a client who was 98 years old, but quite healthy, except for her "bad nerves". She tried several anti-anxiety meds, and very small doses of Xanax worked best for her. She usually took about a quarter of the pill, twice a day. I remember this because I used to have to cut them all up for her. Also, I recall her telling me that Valium just kept her knocked out, even tiny doses. The thing that kept her from having to take her meds often, was lots of companionship. Makes sense too, the elderly can feel alone and scared, the more companionship they have, the less anxious they feel. Even the animal variety is helpful. The little old lady I helped out had a parakeet, and from the day she got him she was less anxious because she had someone to talk to and play with. I eventually inherited that bird and he could imitate her voice...spooky

I think you're on the right track. You can say all of those things, and as long as you use the same tone you use with everyone else, I don't think you'll come off as b**chy. If you're really concerned, you can always try a little manipulation yourself. I'm sure that there are others who feel the way you do, so recruit someone to help you put on a little show. In front of this problem co-worker, have someone ask you if they can go smoke, make a call, do whatever, and then tell them no in the same way you plan to tell Ms. Lazy no. Let her see the other person handle it like a professional and get her work done first, so when you tell her no she'll have an example to go by. This might sound childish, but some people need to be taught at that level to truly understnd. A bonus is she won't feel singled out, even though you have every right to single her out. Good luck and keep us posted, I'm very interested in how this turns out.

Yeah, I'd have to be on that list too. But even better is the one my ex pulled years ago. You know those synthetic pumice stones you can get in bright colors? Well, I had one in the shower that I used to keep my feet smooth during sandle season. Well, my brilliant ex, spotted it and for reasons I cannot fathom, used it on his face. He came out of the shower looking like he'd sandblasted his face. :rotfl:

Ha Ha Ha :chuckle But seriously...many pregnancy tests come in a two pack, so grab a box and try one today. It might be soom enough. If it's negative, then wait until the day after your period is due and take the other test.

Well, I was trying to add some levity, but for the most part I was serious. There are no easy answers or quick fixes for the issue of FF's and drug seekers. My way, or some version of it, is going to cost more in the beginning, but eventually it will save money. It will also help put an end to FF's, or at least make a dent in the number of them, which is priceless.

When I worked in financial aid at a local college, we'd often have fun while filing student info folders, by trying to find the funniest names. My boss won hands down one day when she ended up filing the folder for Peter Small, the best part was when she opened the folder to see what his middle name was and it started with a B, yup, Mr. Peter B. Small. :rotfl: Another good one was the dentist aound the corner from my house years ago, Bobby Boozer DDS...not lettin him near me with a drill!

Good for you! I am a firm believer in getting the word out. Thanks to a favorite professor of mine who was an avid letter writer and activist. Make copies of that post and send it to every political figure you can find in any area. Flood them with copies. Have every nurse you know make copies, and send send send! Every nurse on this board should copy it and send it. Send it in to your local newspaper, most have websites and an e-mail address to send it to. Make a great big nasty messy stink so that someone, somewhere will have to take notice. I'm not a nurse, but at any time I could end up a patient, so I'll be sending a copy of the post to my local paper, and anyone else I can find. Don't feel bad for quitting. They left you no choice. Hopefully, it put them in a rough enough spot that some of the people responsible had to explain themselves. You did the right thing.

How about an outside opinion, but one with a bit of knowledge? First of all, I mentioned this debate to my mother, who has no nursing or medical experience, but does do in home care for a lady with MS. She thought it was a great idea, and asked where she can train for this because she'd enjoy working in a hospital setting. When I started pointing out to her that passing meds wasn't as easy as one would think, she eventually did get the point and wonder how it was possible to learn it all in 24 hours. I think that shows that the average person would have no idea what they were getting into with this position. They don't stop and think about the complexities and varieties of medications. I took a course in college on pharmacology, and I have never worked so hard for a good grade. That class very nearly ruined my 4.0 average. So I do see why no one seems to like the idea of a medication aide. There is too much room for error, and the amount of training seems terribly inadequate. I can see how a medication would be helpful to nurses, if more training was given to ensure less room for mistakes. Can anyone take a guess at how much time they would save on an average shift if they were relieved of passing meds? If it's a good chunk of time, then maybe there's a way to get things changed so that you can have aides who are more adequately trained. If it won't save you that much time, find a way to squash the idea like a bug.

That's right, they have nowhere to go and when that's the case, faking an illness and putting up with any subsequent tests isn't such a bad deal, and a hospital room, even a shared one, is a pretty nice place to be. It's safe and warm. There's always someone around to talk to ( I imagine being elderly and homeless is pretty lonely), and nice nurses come ask how you're feeling and bring you hot meals 3 times day, as well as the occasional snack. Many elderly folks have a variety of aches and pains, and being out in the elements can't be easy on them. For the duration of their stay, their medicated, even if it's only aspirin, so the aches are gone. They get to rest in the hospital, and not worry about someone stealing the blankets off of them while they sleep. They have access to a bathroom, rather than the bushes. Last of all, even the homeless have pride, especially the elderly. It is easier for them to call friends and family and say that they're in the hospital than to say they are on the streets. If only budgets allowed for hiring someone to help the individuals find a more acceptable alternative. You know what they say about an ounce of prevention, and in this case it so very true. So much time and money could be saved if these people were dealt with differently right from the start.

I've been called a FF and a drug seeker because I have chronic pain issues. I feel so bad for the people who's posts I just read for having to put up with what I came to think of as normal. It's humiliating to be treated that way in the ER, and to try to make them understand that your PCP just doesn't give a damn. If you tell them that you called your PCP several times and they just didn't get back to you, then they assume that the PCP thinks you're a seeker too. They don't understand that it's the same PCP who didn't bother to call you back when your daughter had an earache, or when your son developed a rash after eating berries. The doc just doesn't care. Maybe he has too many patients, or maybe he's just a butthead. I just know that there are times when the ER is the only choice I have. I don't want to hear "We don't give narcotics" before I've even finished explaining what's wrong. I don't want to read that people who can't take NSAIDS are seekers, especially when the few that I can take don't do a thing for me anyhow. Narcotics are available because sometimes an aspirin just isn't enough, it is that simple. Narcotics wouldn't be used for medical purposes if they weren't necessary. I think the only way to handle this whole issue is by starting at square one. First, every ER needs someone in charge of this problem, let's call this job the narc police. Then, all pain patients need to be told to follow up with their PCP in X amount of time. If they don't have one, the narc police helps them find one, if they don't have insurance, the narc police knows about every cheap or free clinic in the area. If the pain patient wants the right to use the ER again, they will follow up with a PCP and have a form completed by the PCP that is sent to the ER. The form should state the diagnosis, current meds, and what the ER should do for the patient, if anything, should they need to return. Make the patient do a little leg work. The narc police can verify that the patient did the follow, verify that the form is valid, and make a note in the patients chart clearing them for ER treatment, and stating if the PCP approved use of narcotics or not. it's a win win situation. The patient gets a PCP, and has the ER to fall back on if necessary. The ER loses the FF's who don't cooperate and they feel better about giving narcotics if they know they aren't just being a glorified dealer. The hospital saves enough money that they can afford to have a member of the narc police on every shift. Now, tell me that isn't a good plan.

Has anyone else noticed the connection between Mountain Dew and alleged drug seekers? :chuckle

It seems to me that there has to be more to this story than the short paragraph that you wrote. I hate to break it to you, but if this matter is taken even further for disciplinary action, and all you have is that little bit that you told us to defend yourself with, your chances aren't good. You need to think hard about what happened and write down every detail. Try to think of anything that happened in the days prior as well, because something has to be missing.

I doubt that she's in therapy, it's not her kind of thing. Yes, I have read about the stages of grief. I think my sis is stuck in denial and will never come out of it. The last time I seen her, she was telling me wild stories about how she thinks her ex stole the baby for his new wife, and paid of the nurses to pretend that he was dead. I kept reminding her how we bathed and dressed him after he passed away, but logic couldn't overrule her wishful thinking

Curleysue, let's you and me get together and write a proposal for this new program and rid the hospitals of FF's. :) But let us not forget another segment of the FF population, those poor patients who follow doctors orders. I've dealt with many PCPs who are too busy, lazy, or uninterested to take the time to see me, so they send me to the ER. What's worse is that they lie about it. about a year ago I called my doc, had a migraine on top of my regular back/neck pain and I was miserable. Called first thing in the morning, but he couldn't get me in, someone would get back to me before closing. At 4:55pm, I called the office, phones had been rolled over to answering service. Left an urgent " you BETTER call me back" kinda message, and about 3 hours later, I called again only to be told "Dr says you should go to the ER." I went, they were kinda b$#chy about it, didn't believe doc had said to come in. ER did nothing, got in to see doc the next day and he denied telling me to go to the ER. I explained what the answering service said, and he replied " They don't speak for me" Huh? So I kept asking repeatedly " so, you're saying that they suggested the ER with NO help from you?" Never got an answer...fired him on my way out the door. :)

Or he just could have replied " Sorry Ma'am, you're insurance won't cover that."

I've never been in your exact situation, but I have very good studying skills, and stress coping skills so maybe I can give you some advice. You are obviously very worried, and hate the idea of taking the class, and that mindset is going to make things even harder for you. What I would do, is right this minute, act as if you absolutely do have to take the class. Resign yourself to having to get it done, and you'll lose some of the stress right away. Then start planning. Find others who have taken the class recently and done well...make friends :) If necessary, put up notices asking for a study partner, tutor, or coach. A coach is just someone who's been through it and can be there when you're stressing out. Last of all, get tough, get angry :angryfire That course is the enemy and you're going to fight it and win! These may sound silly, and not all may work for you, but it doesn't hurt to try it. The right mindset is a powerful thing. Good Luck

Strange, my old doctor tried to diagnose me with RSD and I was work comp auto accident. If I'm not mistaken, it stands for Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. It was a long time ago that I researched it, but my first thought was that it was a "disease of the day" kind of thing. To some extent the symptoms could fit anyone. Making it hard to disprove, which is probably the appeal of it for work comp doctors. When I finally found a good doctor, he told me to go home, look up the meaning of "dystrophy" and then try to see if I could apply it myself in any way. Naturally, I couldn't. I was rather furious that I had spent months being treated with Neurontin, which made me sick, for a disease that I didn't have. Furthermore, I founf info online stating that Neurontin hasn't beeen proven safe or effective for treating RSD. I don't have a lot of faith in diseases or disorders that are vague and hard to prove or disprove. They seem made-up, just an excuse for billing insurance, prescribing meds, and getting money from work comp.

When I was in college, getting my degree in social services, some of the required courses were about drug abuse. Those courses kind of overlapped with the courses for the chemical dependency program, and I was shocked at how many of my classmates were former meth users, and most of them were women. In an average class of about 40 students, maybe 3 or 4 of us were not recovering addicts. It's become a trend for addicts to become counselors, and there is even a school of that that insists that only an addict can effectivelly counsel an addict. I think that's ridiculous. When internships were assigned, I ended up at a rehab for women. I was the only person there who wasn't in recovery for some thing or another. Even supporting staff, like receptionist, was a former alcoholic. What really struck me was how the former meth addicts never seem to lose their drug behaviors. It's as if they never really snap back 100%, and even more sad is that they can't see it. I made the mistake of asking a fellow counselor if her drug mannerisms were still diminishing and she was offened, insisting that she didn't have any drug mannerisms. She went on to point out another employee and say " SHE does have drug mannerisms, but I don't" With some subtly questioning, I realzed that they cannot see it in themselves, but can see it in others. Weird. I was glad to finish that internship, I make a lousy counselor for addicts. I just wanted to scream at them to stop whining and put down the crack pipe. :uhoh21:

I can think of a couple different ways to handle this. If you want to do an abrupt about face, the next time she asks if you mind her going out to smoke, simply say, " Yes, I do mind.". If that is too harsh for your comfort, you can add in an explanation, " Yes, I do mind because we are far to busy right now. Ask me again when we're all caught up." From what I can gather, nurses are never caught up so that should let you off the hook for the remainder of your shift. If you want to take a more gradual approach, you can say, "No, I don't mind of you smoke, but I need you to do this one thing first." Then after a few times of handling it that way, you can ask her to do TWO things first, then three, etc. It at least insures that she does something that day, right? As for the phone calls from her kids, that can be tricky. Is there a policy against personal phone calls? If there is, you can notify a "higher up" and ask if a memo can be circulated reminding employees of the policy. If there's no policy, and you answer one of the calls, ask if it's an emergency, if they say it isn't, inform them that mom is busy but you'll pass a message along to her. Then when you give her the message try doing it this way, "Your child called and since you were busy I took a message. So after you're finished doing this, this, and that, he/she wanted to know what's for dinner." Doing it this way lets her know that she shouldn't drop everything to answer a personal call, and that you know the call is non-urgent and expect her to finish her work before she calls them back. Hope this helps.

I wish I could but unfortunately I no longer have any contact with her, due to many different things. First, I was pregnant at the same time she was, and it was difficult for her to be around me after my son was born. Then, due to her lack of coping skills she started using drugs. She did reach out to me once and ask for help, and I tried to help her, but by this time she was very "out of it" and it fell to me to take steps to remove her older child from her care ( that child is with her father now). Sadly, about 6 months ago, I heard that she was pregnant again. I didn't know what to feel when I heard. Part of me is worried sick about any baby in her care since The amount of drugs she did seemed to destroy her mentally. On the other hand, I worry that if anything should happen to the baby, that it would be a final blow for her that does her in. No matter what happens, I can't see it being good for her.

When I was growing up, we cared for my great uncle at home, then my grandma, and finally my grandpa. From 1983 to 1995, we had elderly relatives in our home. My uncle had cancer, and as he deteriorated we had many problems getting him to eat and drink enough. We learned a lot of creative ways to get him to eat. First keep in mind, that our grandparents grew up eating many different foods than most people eat today. Get grandma talking about food and see what memories you can stir. If she has an old recipe box, get it out and look for the recipes that are wrinkled, splotched and stained because are the ones she used the most, and ask her about each one. Maybe something will appeal to her. Ask her what things her mother made that she liked best. That was a winner with me uncle and the memory he came up with was easy to do for him. He just wanted buttermilk and a piece of homemade cornbread. Something that works for kids might also translate well in your situation. Always keep plenty of food within grandmas reach. Little snack trays with bite size pieces of fruit and cheese are good. If she likes little debbie, see if you can slip in some of those new soft energy bars, or breakfast bars. I used to give them to my kids and tell them they were candy :) Another plus to talking to Grannie about foods she used to like is that it will give you some good memories of your time with her. Make it fun, humor and laughter are great appetite stimulants. Good luck, and God bless Grannie