Prayer at work??

I think the doc was wrong to take the OP's hand without asking first, especially if it's a doc you are not familiar with. Some folks just don't like that. Many devout Christians just aren't "touchy-feely" and would prefer not to do the hold the hand thing with prayer but prefer the hands folded. And then there is the other, very demonstrative end of the spectrum.

Just not much of a hand holder if you aren't my family, my patient or a very close friend.

I think I would be uncomfortable just having my hand grabbed by the doc without the issue of prayer even coming up. That implies a kind of physical restraint. I can understand why that would bother anyone regardless of what happened after.

I didn't get the impression that the op was forced to participate. While she wasn't asked, and her hand was taken (grapped might even be too strong a word), she choose to participate by not saying nothing (which to me was a very decent and kind act). She surely could have left quietly, exercising some assertive free will saying she wasn't comfortable.

I'm not condoning what this doc did because I think he was presumptious and wrong.

Tweety, when someone takes my hand, without first asking me, I really don't care what his reason is, he is committing battery on me. I didn't ask nor did the nurse in question, ask or was asked, to take part. The physician presumed, and presumed a great deal, that the individual wanted to be included. He placed her in an embarrassing situation where she either had to remain or draw attention and possibly upset the patient, by voicing her desire not to take part. If he had not overstepped civilized boundaries. If a patient ask me to pray with him or for him, I will. If he doesn't, I never presume that I have the right to. I have no right to force my religious views on anyone believer or nonbeliever. Taking a nonbeliever's hand, even gently, is forcing one's belief on someone else.

Not only was he presumpitous and wrong, he is lucky it wasn't my hand he grabbed or took hold of or whatever. He would have found himself at the end of an extremely angry person who would have put him in his place, out of the aptient's room. No one touches me that I don't want to. An ER nurse learned that the hard way.

Woody:twocents:

one thing that struck me, you said it still affecting after it happened for a long time.. i believe our inner self wants us to be awaken.. just try to open up your mind and heart to understand. this will continue affecting until we listen to our inner self wants us to realize, to know .. during the process a person can fell the fear... but reading inspiring words would help to over come the fear.. you have a good heart.. something so special within you.

:redbeathe:redpinkhe:redbeathe:redpinkhe

I personally would be unfortable in this situation, in the first place because of the shock factor of being dragged into a prayer circle. Like some other posters, I feel that it's hypocritical of me to act as though I am in prayer when I'm not, although I will bow my head respectfully when I have to.

I guess it's a bit contrary of me, in that even though I don't believe in prayer, I think that in that situation it would maybe feel like something had been stolen from me that should have been given voluntarily if at all.

I know I'm not making much sense, maybe someone more eloquent than me feels the same way?

I am in no way disrespectful of religion, it brings lots of people great happiness, but it does not have a place in my life and I personally would feel upset if this had happened to me.

Hello- A few years ago something happened that still bothers me, and I just wanted to get some other opinions about this kind of thing in case it happens again or is hapening to other people. I was residing and working in CO at the time. Just as a note to the background, I am from MA (and reside in MA again now) and I am aware of some social & cultural differences between the two regions. One day in CO as I was standing at a pt's ICU bedside with the physician, the MD grabbed the pt's hand (the pt. was alert and awake) and MY hand and begins a Christian prayer. I was totally horrified that I was not asked before he grabbed my hand, and it was basically demanded of me to participate in this prayer. I am an atheist and I do not personally believe in prayer. I certainly have NO problem with others praying in a pt.'s room, as I know it is very comforting to some patients and their families, but I simply do not wish to be included. I felt "forced" into doing something I was, and still am, very uncomfortable with. I just quietly held the pt's hand until the praying stopped and excused myself from the room afterwards. I had no opportunity to politely extricate myself from this situation without making a "big deal" about it, and I was also concerned that sharing my personal (lack of) religious beliefs would lessen my pt's respect/trust in me. This kind of thing NEVER happened to me in MA or as a travel RN in CA, (I had been a RN for 7 years at the time) but happened twice in 2 yrs. while I was living in Colorado. What would you say or do in this situation? It was 4 years ago and it still bothers me tremendously. Thanks for your opinions!

I don't really have time to go through all the 6 pages of replies so I just thought I would post. Oh, and this is my first post.

Many people assume others are christians because of the environment they live in and where raised in. It was wrong of him not to ask your permission before grabbing your hand like that, though. If I were you, I would have taken him aside after leaving the patient's room and told him about you being an atheist and how you know that prayer was for the patient but it made you really uncomfortable and next time if he could just include him and the patient instead of you.

I am a Christian (even though I haven't been to church since I was 18 >_

Even if I had to pray alone...I would, for the simple fact prayer has kept me alive and has kept me from being mischevious..

I would have stayed, but quietly slipped my hand from the doctor's because I would NOT be comfortable holding his hand for any reason. Its just an invasion of my personal space that I did not allow.

If the patient did not ask for a prayer, why were they praying??? I cannot help but wonder if, when I am unable to stand up for myself due to illness, people will pray with/over me against my wishes. I just really wish that there were not parts of the USA where it is automatically assumed that you are a Christian and appreciative of the Christian effort to invite you to church/pray for you/talk church/etc. I am in the deep south, the "bible belt" and its stifling here. I can even take time off of work to go be part of a prayer meeting that happens during my work hours once a week.

I see spirituality as a personal and private thing, and if my patient wanted to hold my hand while he/she prayed, I would do it in an effort to comfort, no matter what the religion. I would not give that same courtesy to a coworker... unless of course I get paid extra to "comfort" them as well~

I would not give that same courtesy to a coworker... unless of course I get paid extra to "comfort" them as well~

Darn tootin!!! Show me the money and I'll show you the best prayer you ever saw. Comforting, however, costs an extra 4.99/minute...

Darn tootin!!! Show me the money and I'll show you the best prayer you ever saw. Comforting, however, costs an extra 4.99/minute...

:roll

haha thanks I needed that laugh today :)

Darn tootin!!! Show me the money and I'll show you the best prayer you ever saw. Comforting, however, costs an extra 4.99/minute...

epic.