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Discussion

personal tragedy

My SIL was admited to the ICU about 6 week ago with staph sepsis. She almost didn't survive the first night. Since the infection is long gone but she is stuck withe severe damage to her lungs, liver, and kidneys. She has been on a vent and continuous dialysis the entire time. She made no progress for a couple of weeks but this week things seemed a bit better. They switched her from an ossilator to a regular vent and she tolerated it well and is breathing over it a bit. A couple of days ago the liver doc said he thought her liver was recoverable. Things seemed to be going well. Yesterday she had a pretty significant GI bleed which I believe has stopped but she received several units of blood. The major problem with it is that they have stopped her heparin and they are worried about worsening liver damage and other things because they can't run the heparin. They told my brother yesterday that she will not get better and they need to talk about stopping treatment.

I guess my problem with this is due to the fact that she is more stable then she was a week ago and they never mentioned this before. Also since she has been off the ossilator for a couple of days they have her off paralytics and she is somewhat responsive. Moving her head/eyes and even squeezing my brothers hand. How can you take someone off the vent to die when they still have brain function? It makes sense for a brain dead person but she is not. It seems sooo much harder and I guess I don't understand it. I am an ER nurse so I don't deal with this kind of thing and I'm having a hard time with it.

They are also saying that since she has been on paralytics and sedation for so long that her neurons are dying and her motor function will never recover. That doesn't make sense to me either. People can be on vents for sometime without this being a problem. Maybe I'm missing some information but I'm just not seeing that it's time to give up just yet. Maybe you guys can help me understand or give me some insite into what I'm missing.

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    • Featured Replies

    Im sorry, but i cannot be of any real help, as im not very experienced with this type of situation 'clinically'. In fact, i just took my boards yesterday and am near vomiting waiting to find out that i failed. However, i will say this, and take it for what it is worth: I HAVE SEEN MIRACLES HAPPEN, PERIOD. I agree with you that there is not evidence of brain death. Again, i am not very experienced, but i am a person of faith, and believe miracles happen. I sympathize with you, as it must be excruciatingly painful, and also say. . .do NOT give up. You are now on my prayer wheel. I mean that. Best wishes, and sorry i could not be of any help clinically.

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    wow, I am so sorry you are going through this. I am an ICU nurse I have dealt with this many times, but never with my family. My heart goes out to you. As you know we cant give med advice here, but its hard to tell what her case is without all the details. I will keep you and your family in my prayers!!!!

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    I'm so sorry for what your family is going through! I also don't have any personal experience. I think the best thing, if she's responsive and can squeeze people's hands or blink her eyes and understand questions, is to ask her what she wants. If not, it's probably up to your brother. Hopefully they talked about their wishes if they were ever in this situation. That is just so sad no matter what.

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    • Expert

    There used to be an ongoing prayer thread, I am certain if anyone who contributed to that thread sees this they will mention your SIL. At any rate, many people who see this will offer their prayers for her, you, and the rest of her family, as well.

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    • Author

    Thank you so much for the prayers!! Staci, my brother and all of us could use them.

    It seems mindless when they are old or braindead or obviously not going to have any quality of life. She is young 25, and her brain is still there, it's her other organs that are failing. They say she will not have any quality of life but how do they really know that? It is so hard to grasp the concept of letting someone die that is still mentally okay.....do you guys see that happen very often?

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    In my line, yes. I've been on the other side as well, but with my Grandmother. I was her DPOA, I had to make a decision. It was hard as hell. But, with the Faith and support of my Lord and Family, it was a tad bit easier.

    As you know, just to reiterate the previous posters, we cannot give medical advice, so You and Your family will be in my prayers.

    The power of intercessory prayer is very powerful...so much more than we could ever imagine.

    Blessings to you.

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    if able, i would get a 2nd opinion.

    heartfelt prayers to you and yours.

    leslie

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    So sorry for you and your family......I agree with Leslie: Get another opinion.

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    I'm thinking of your family now. Miracles happen! And so should second opinions.

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    I think you are asking good questions, and your logic is sound. You've got to ask the doc to sit down with you and keep asking questions until you understand. A second opinion sounds like a great idea, even if they both end up agreeing. You may get a second doc that just puts things differently and makes it easier to understand.

    Would you please let us know what happens? You have a lot on your plate, so no rush. I too would like to know the answers to the questions you are asking.

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