Nursing and Children

I have alot of respect for people who make the conscious decision to either have kids, and how many, or not to have kids. There are far too many people that have kids that for what ever reason are unable to take care of them. My sister new early on she didn't want kids and took the necessary steps to make sure she didn't.  My husband wanted more kids than I did but I told him 5 wasnt going to work for me, we discussed it and agreed on 2. I think too many people have kids for the wrong reasons or just don't think about it and in some of those cases it hurts the kids. IMO, best to think about it first!

It's so important that having kids doesn't become (remain?) the default for everyone. My mom seemed to love being a parent, while my dad...truly didn't, but that's a whole other story. It's so dumb, but honestly, until some of my friends started having kids, it didn't really occur to me that people typically like their children and enjoy being around them; I'm so used to hearing about the responsibility and nuisance of it all that I was amazed to realize there's a lot more to being a parent than that!

I have gone back and forth on whether I want kids for a hot minute. I've always known that I wanted to be a foster mom, but the idea of biological kids is something I've waffled on. At this point, I think I would like to have one, maybe two if time and biology allow, but if it doesn't happen for some reason, that's okay. But I know now that I do genuinely want to be a parent in some way.

When I was with my ex, I was quite sure I didn't want kids, and was even prepared to give up my goal of being a foster parent. Only later did I realize that it was because he would have been such a wretched co-parent. He was just not a very nice, patient, or accepting person, characteristics that seem to be essential to not permanently scarring your kids. Just my opinion.

With my current partner, I feel very differently. He'll be a great dad, we'll share responsibilities equitably, and we will genuinely enjoy raising children together. Plus, he's also happy to join me in foster parenting, which is kind of an important thing to agree on! So that is what has influenced my latest feelings on the subject, which have been fairly consistent for the past few years, so I guess I can make decisions based on them now. This is an adventure for the 2022 version of NightNerd to embark on, since we're waiting until I finish my MSN to get started on adding to the family. I will probably hang out in bedside nursing for a few more years, particularly while we have young kids, then move into something more related to my degree gradually as they enter school.

I can remember walking the hallway in the 7th grade knowing I wanted to be a mom.  We were in a class where we talked about careers, and I didn’t really have a strong desire to be anything in particular but knew I definitely wanted to be a mom.

As I wove my way throughout my life, not everything worked out as I thought it would in my young, 11 year old mind.  But now in my mid forties I’m shuffling kids around to practices and making sure all our e learning is done.  And I enjoy it.  I’m excited to see the future for my children.  
 

My husband is an incredible partner and father so we actually share all parenting duties.  It makes a huge difference having a partner who is in it with you.  My ex was not cut out for parenthood and enjoys being a part time parent.  That is difficult for the other parent and the child.  I don’t think everyone should have children.  
 

I find nursing allows me to be a parent and have a career.  I also have no interest in getting my masters or doctorate.  I enjoy bedside.  Everyone has different priorities though and it’s about what makes them happy.  I see zero issue with somebody completely focusing on their career.  The world needs people like that.  

I'm too young to be thinking about kids but I do know that I really want them! Nothing cheers me up more than hearing kids laugh and giggle. I love their lunatic sense of humor and OMG, a mind to mould. I can't think of anything better.

I have great parents and I am very close to my family except my mom is too bossy and still thinks I'm a child. I own my own house and I have only contributed one thing to the decor. My television. Everything else was her idea. Not sure how I feel about it  except inadequate because to be honest, she knows best. 

That's my only doubt. She has no doubts about anything re family. She decides everything for all of us and she's always right. I don't have that instinctual ability and that worries me re kids. 

She's half Scottish and half Irish but born in England. The Scottish and English aspect is where her confidence comes from. They have very little self doubt about anything. She's also a history professor so she has that reference to draw upon. 

I mostly work Psych and I see so many people with obvious childhood reasons for their current situations. That scares me. How do you negotiate pass the scares? 

Davey, Kids are a different criteria altogether! A mind is a holy thing for me. And a young, innocent mind should be cherished. I have nephews and nieces aged 5 to 12 and I always want the babysitting duties. I swear the conversations, the topics, their choices of activities are the most fascinating things. I would propose that instead of having vacations, adults should go to camp with 5 to 9 year old kids. Now that's relaxation! The things they say and do. 

My parents can have the biggest fights but all of us know it's for show. My mother rules the roost and my dad knows that she's far more competent than he could ever be. I have three siblings and I am the 2nd youngest. My older brother is an engineer and useless. He works and lives his life of playing games. It runs him and he's happy doing that. My older sister runs my father's law firm. She's the general manager. Every Sat night is family night for Dungeons and Dragons. Only my father gets a pass if he's away on business. It's been going on for years. It's a very tight enmeshed family. 

I actually am too interlectual for revenge but retaliation is a family code. There has to be consequences for people's actions. We don't believe in violence because legally because of my size I will likely always end up in jail. But, a well thought out plan to make someone see the error of their ways is important. No one should be so inconsiderate as to be able to impose their will on another person! 

Previous post I said the word bully and it was taken completely out of context. No hard feelings. I should have substituted assertive. You know in Psych that you never back someone into a corner. You always leave an option. My primary solution is always food with a psych patient. Plus respect! Always seems to work and prevents incident reports. 

I do believe in consequences though. It's an important facet to promote learning. People have to learn to respect each other and their differences.