Not What I Expected

ixchel · Sep 1, 2014

The first thing that ran through my brain as I read your post is that you're expressing disinterest in something that once interested you, which can be a red flag for depression. I know we can't give medical advice here, so I'm not giving medical advice when I say that. However, getting evaluated might be helpful.

That said, the first semester of nursing school sucks the most. You have so much more to learn, you are definitely pushed out of your comfort zone, and on top of it all, you need to maintain an obsessive level of organization that probably has never been required of you before. There may be some nay-Sayers who follow my post, but in my opinion, you are probably seeing more of what nursing is really like at work as a CNA than you are seeing so far at nursing school. I graduated in May, started working in June, and I can't tell you how different nursing is than what nursing school is. You may get a foundation of knowledge there, and it may be a start on what you need to think about when you're a nurse, but actual nursing is not something they are teaching you.

Do some soul searching. Talk to nurses you know and trust. See how it really is. Also remember when you go to clinical, you may at this point feel like you're just going back to work, since many of the skills you're learning in these first weeks are skills you are probably doing at work. My vote? Stick it out for the rest of the semester. See how you feel as you gain complexity and you get exposed to things that are new to you. Your fellow students are probably more excited because this is new to them. It's okay if you don't have the same enthusiasm as them. Also, talk to your advisor at school. Share these feelings. It might feel good to have someone validate these feelings face to face. I think most people find themselves with buyer's remorse in nursing from time to time. God knows I did several times, and I'm one of those annoying "this is my calling" nurses. ?

Hang in there, But don't go it alone.

NurseGirl525, ASN, RN · Sep 1, 2014

The first few weeks are very overwhelming. I thought to myself the other day what in the heck did I get myself into? The sheer volume of information is crazy. I will tell you I am nervous for clinicals also. What if I screw up? What if I hurt someone? I think most people feel that way at first. Even if they don't admit it, they are feeling it. We don't start clinicals until the end of October which will give me some much needed time to get myself organized and on a schedule. I would honestly stick it out this semester and see how you feel at the end. It is very overwhelming at first but give yourself some time to adjust.

Lev, MSN, RN, NP · Sep 1, 2014

I didn't know nursing was for me until midway through the first clinical at a nursing home, which was over two months into the semester. It's too soon to tell.

RunBabyRN · Sep 2, 2014

It's hard to tell what's normal anxiety and what's "I'm genuinely doing the wrong thing for me." I have classmates who cried on their way to clinicals, but now are happy nurses. Nursing school is SO overwhelming, and most of us feel like idiots in clinicals, especially at first. Then we start to get the hang of things a bit.

I agree about getting evaluated. I have a history of depression, and I had to start meds while in school. It was just all so much.

Aside from that, I say stick it out for one semester, at least, and see how it goes. Get together with classmates- you might be surprised to hear they feel the same way. I was one of the few who genuinely enjoyed clinicals from day one, but I also have extensive healthcare experience.

The responsibility of being a nurse hits hard that first semester, and it's not for everyone. Even with my own prior experience, I was like, "WHOA, what did I get myself into??" That feeling eased some, but I always felt like everyone else knew more than I did in class, on exams, etc. Then I heard some people say they felt that way about me- that I knew more! HUH??

Give it some time, see a counselor, and see if things improve.

missmollie, ADN, BSN, RN · Sep 2, 2014

Well, for heaven's sake, you're in clinical. You are not responsible for anyone's life, nor are you expected to be until you pass NCLEX and have orientation on a floor for 4-6 weeks. I think it's good it weighs heavy on you, for you have so much to learn! But no one expects a first year student to be responsible for lives.

Don't make clinical to be more than what it is. It's a learning experience.

Geesh.

mclennan, BSN, RN · Sep 2, 2014

Can you be more specific about exactly what it is you don't like?

Stephalump · Sep 2, 2014

My advice is to stick it out until the end of the semester and re-evaluate.

Odds are the reality isn't congruent with what you thought it would be, because you can't REALLY know what it's like until you're in the middle of it.

That could mean you thought it was for you but it's not. It could also still be a good fit...just different.

But the second half of the first semester I was preparing my med school applications because nursing wasn't for me. I hated clinicals and everything I was doing, other than the lectures. But I stuck it out, and I honestly do enjoy my job - outside of the hospital and outside of nursing school.

jamisaurus · Sep 2, 2014

I hated clinicals all the way through nursing school until I found the field I fell in love with (OB). I felt in the way, I felt like I was annoying the patient by repeating tasks/assessments the RN had already done, I never had enough time to get information from the chart for paperwork, it was a constant state of stress. Now that I'm working as an RN, it's totally different.

LoveAlwaysAlisa · Sep 2, 2014

I am a very shy person and my confidence has never been the best. To the few that commented about depression, I don't struggle with depression but I do suffer from anxiety which is another reason I question this field for myself. I've been told by instructors and working nurses alike that it can be a stressful job and I worry that I do not have the coping abilities for such stress long term. I wish I had taken the summer off from school to "regroup" so to speak and mentally prepare myself but I didn't. I went to school and worked full time all summer to save money for the program. I know I want to work in health care, I'm just not sure if it's through the role of a nurse.

phoenoryker · Sep 2, 2014

So I am thinking that one of two things happened. You knew that it wasn't for you when you worked as a CNA, or you enjoyed the work, but now you find yourself doubting that you can make it through nursing school. I think you are doubting yourself, and I think you are giving yourself an out by saying you would be interested in another position in health care. If I am right, stick it out, push through the hard times. You will respect yourself and the position all the more when it's over. I have always been an exceptional student (when I applied myself) who is comfortable with communicating with people. Right now, classes are overwhelmingly time consuming and I feel completely out of my element in sim labs/clinicals. It's a work in progress, besides, if it wasn't tough to do everybody would be doing it... Don't give up...life's too short for regrets.

RunBabyRN · Sep 2, 2014

I think a lot of nurses battle with anxiety, and this is where counseling and learning coping mechanisms that work for you come in. There are many successful shy nurses. Don't let this personality trait hold you back. Remember that nursing school is not nursing. Be patient with yourself. :)