My manager went off on me!

Did she have suggestions or just criticisms? I'd go back and ask her to help you write a plan of correction. That is part of her job.

It's called stress and displaced anger. There were no suggestions given in the annual evaluation that took place one week ago, so I wouldn't even bother seeking a plan of correction. Do not take it personally. She is probably currently too stressed with the expectations of being manager and to possibly waste her time with a written plan of correction is antagonizing, especially when you all ready have a clue to what you need to do.

I am not saying that the manager is right. I believe she is wrong for yelling at you. It's just that your intro paragraph paints the picture of you justifying the possibility of coming off as rude. And even if you did, don't apologize for it. I would just state that I was unaware of coming off as rude. The only way I could see me coming off as such is because I gave off short replies and possibly one word answers, but my intent was to prioritize and manage my time effectively seeing as though we were short an aide and I had a preceptee in need with her own questions as well.

oh yeah, I wouldn't go back to her and discuss the yelling nor anything else for that matter regarding the incident,

but the next time she raises her voice....you need to address it then and there b/c it will only continue. You better let her know, subordinate or not.......

Did she have suggestions or just criticisms? I'd go back and ask her to help you write a plan of correction. That is part of her job.

I would NOT approach her for a plan of correction. You already got your eval and it was ok. She was venting over the stress of the situation and I would try not to take it seriously.

Also in my experience do NOT tell your coworkers or manager your problems at work. Keep it to yourself! Otherwise, they'll probably use it against you, first chance they can. If you have a problem with stress and who doesn't, try to deal with it quietly and confidentially.

This may be off tangent but I believe nursing is stressful and some staff show their stress and anger too visibly. Most likely, your coworkers will hold it against you and be unsympathetic. If you are stressed out how often do they pitch in to help?

Anyway, a long time nurse with lots of experience and knowledge was fired over her problems with anger and stress management. It did not have to happen. That nurse had been counseled many times over the years, but refused to take action to change. She was complacent and having literal temper tantrums and people were so used to it they would look the other way, but finally management started taking action. They even sent her home early on a number of occasions due to her meltdowns. If she only would have gotten help for herself by taking a personal leave of absence over the stress, seeing a doctor and getting meds to help her control her stress, anger and anxiety, seeing a therapist, hypno-therapy, or just getting a different job. Instead she did nothing to change things and her personal life unraveled and she lost her job. Frankly it was a long time coming and long overdue given her notorious meltdowns, but still it was very sad and didn't have to happen.

Frankly I think the reason nursing is so stressful is because we have so little control over our work and many times impossible super-human demands without enough time to finish them and then we are supposed to be ever so sweet and kind and cheerful and always willing to drop everything to make the patient/family feel like we are their one and only, when we have many other patients we are juggling and something has to give! It's very hard to be all sweet and friendly when big brother is watching did you give a med a minute late and God forbid, don't clock out late!

She literally yelled, as in raised her voice to a shouting level? And she's criticizing you for your perceived deficiencies? This is not constructive criticism.

However, she may have a valid point, albeit poorly delivered.

I know that when I am busy, I am more direct and less likely to take time for pleasantries. This can come off as rude to others around me.

When I am concentrating or focused, the expression on my face can look like a frown to others around me.

I have even had the facial expression I use to express empathy misinterpreted as a "smirk".

I think it would serve you well to think about how your nonverbal communication can be perceived by others, and actively work to have a little more control over it.

The first step is noticing. You don't have to do anything, just notice. When you are busy, or concentrating, or under stress, notice how you hold your body. Are your shoulders tensed up? Your stomach? What about your facial muscles? What are these things communicating to those around you?

The next step would then be to start working on changing. When you notice that your shoulders are tense, you're holding in your abdominal muscles, your facial muscles are tight, take a moment to breathe in deeply, then as you exhale, relax all of those tense muscles.

You don't have to be all warm and fuzzy and Suzie Sunshine, but just putting in a little extra effort to project a more relaxed and open manner to those around you won't hurt anything, and you might even find that you FEEL less stressed when you ACT less stressed.

Someone very close to me often reminds me that it's not so much WHAT you say, it's more in HOW you say it. I am told you can say just about anything to anyone, if you just deliver it the right way. Sometimes, just putting a smile on your face when you talk to someone, even if you're being direct, can mitigate the negative reaction that person might normally have when faced with such direct and to the point communication.

I think it's sad that when one is stressed to the max they have to wear a mask and fake smile and pretend everything's ok like they're on holiday!

Basically become a stepford nurse and everyone will be happier with you! Just don't forget to take your tranquilizers!

It sounds like she's stressed, but that's no excuse to let it out on you. She's the manager and it's her job to remain professional and composed during stressful situations.

I would wait until JCAHO is finished on your unit, then approach her to say that her comments really caught you off guard because you'd just finished with a good eval. Reinforce that you would like to be informed of any feedback or complaints immediately when they're made so that you can reflect upon the situation shortly after it happens. She may end up saying that she was stressed and apologize for her reaction, or something like that.

I wouldn't take this to heart...though I realize it's hard not to...

Good luck to you! :)

Amanda

I know that when I am busy, I am more direct and less likely to take time for pleasantries. This can come off as rude to others around me.

When I am concentrating or focused, the expression on my face can look like a frown to others around me.

.

Only females tend the jump the gun and misinterprete without asking first for a confirmation of your thoughts.

A guy would play it off or crack a joke and then YOU find yourself apologising and opning up.

PS- I love nursing just not the bunch of hormones in it.

only females tend the jump the gun and misinterprete without asking first for a confirmation of your thoughts.

a guy would play it off or crack a joke and then you find yourself apologising and opning up.

ps- i love nursing just not the bunch of hormones in it.

i suspect that 'opening up' is just the response the guys are looking for. could it be that females are just naturally more sensitive to non-verbal clues?

. She literally yelled for 15 minutes. I am not a crier but I did shed some tears in her office. And on the drive home.

that is unacceptable full stop , there is no scenario where this is acceptable ... write her up as the bully s/he is. either to HR or to the next step in the chain of command ( for me in the UK it would be the Matron ( Clinical Nurse Manager for the speciality group) or the Assistant exec Director of Nursing for the service group)

if you are left feeling unwell mentally or physically from this go to your Family Doctor and/or your Occupational Health department ...