Lovable Loonies

I was having to change out her Foley, and I must have gone too close to the wrong orfice, because all of the sudden she chirped out, "Not now, Harry, I'm not in the mood." Her husband's name was NOT Harry.

ROTFLMAO!!

bob

I work ICU. Was getting report one Friday night on a woman whom I was told was confused among other things. I go in and do my assessment. She knows who she is, where she is, what the date, time, blah,blah,blah is. She even answered who the President was at the time by saying Hilary Clinton. This woman was not confused! They must have given me the neuro part of my report on the wrong patient! Geeeeeezzzzz, I'm thinking. SO I go to leave the room after I'm done assessing her and I said can I get you anything? Initially she said no and then she said "Oh yes dear, there is one thing. Could you run up to the attic and get my fuzzy red slippers?"

Later that night I was transferring another patient to Telemetry. As I am appraoching the elevator, I see an older man with his butt flapping in the breeze. We are no where near a patient care area, so I knew this guy was up to no good. SO I said "Sir can I help you?" He said "Oh yeah, good, good, I'm glad you are here. Having a hell of a time here." I said what's the problem? "Can you tell me where Main Street is?" My initial thought was "Man do I have a woman for you" but I refrained. I pointed to the neartest patient care area and said Main Street is this way. My patient went along with it. He thought it was hysterical. So we brought the guy back to his room and all was well.

The next day I am walking around the lake in the town I grew up in and I happen upon a very confused older woman. Now I am thinking where's Alan Funt? Where is the hidden camera? Is it a full moon AGAIN???? I cannot even remember the exact number of confused people I met that weekend but fortunately all of them were of the pleasantly confused variety!

Ha! Speaking of confused & looney, I remember we had a late night screamer on our floor for awhile. Always, when we'd turn off the hall lights around 9 pm, blood-curdling screams would come from this woman. The first time it happened, we all went running down there to see what the sam hell was going on, "Lydia, WHAT'S WRONG???". She'd reply, 'Huh? What?' and look at us like WE were crazy. Okay. Allright. So after 5 of these blood-curdling screams in 4 hours and all the rest of the patients complaining on the floor and our nerves getting shot, in went the call for some Ativan.

Well, before we got a call back from her doctor, we had a new admit in her room (I know, but it was the only bed available). Another older lady from a nursing home with a bad UTI. We got this new one settled in, and as soon as all was quiet... aaaaAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Screaming again!

My colleague, Ativan IN HAND, starts walking down the hall when we hear the other lady say, "Shhhhhhhh, you'll wake the baby." Lydia says, "Oh, I am so sorry." And we never heard another peep out of her that night!!!

:roll :roll :roll

A student nurse and I were showering a confused gentleman (I was showing her the ropes). We were bend down around his feet as I was expalining the importance of carefully drying between the toes when all of a sudden he woke right up and said "Oh, not today girls - I'm just too tired for both of you"!

One night we had a guy in his 50's in with confusion. Come the night he started calling out and we decided to move him to the treatment room so the other patients would have a bit of peace. As we began moving the bed he started shouting "Commander under attack! All hands to me!" We thought that turning the light out would help settle him down, but it just made things worse: "Multi-system failure! Multipower overload!" Never been in the armed services, and a couple of days later, when his UTI resolved, he had no recollection of any of it.

How about those of you who work nights: ANyone else out there hate giving certain sleeping pills to those over 65?? Talk about nuts!!!

i hate giving ambien....talk about confusion, and people climbing over the side rails. i will always tell the ordering resident to prescribe something else, or this pt will be up all night, since i refuse to give ambien to anyone over 65...i have seen too much happen!!

Thanks for sharing your lovables! I really liked the "wake the baby" story; I may remember that one! We did have one lady who was emphatically calling on the Almighty (at a high-decibel range, waking up the whole floor) until one of the nurses got on the remote call system and said in a soothing voice, "It's alright, this is God. Go to sleep now." The woman stopped, gazed around with wide eyes for a moment, then closed her eyes and slept peacefully. Probably not the most ethical thing, but...

And it's not a hypnotic, but I HATE giving Phenergan to geri pts. I've seen several of them freak out completely-and they aren't the "lovable kind". Thanks for the feedback! Jeannie :)

I had a LTC patient who, when she was in bed/chair, would yell at the top of her voice "God get me out of this bed/chair". One CNA finally got her saying the Lord's prayer and usually this would calm her down. Until the day she said "Our Father who art in Heaven, GET ME OUT OF THIS BED"

:rotfl: :rotfl:

I had a couple of others too. One lady was a "Sundowner" and would get extremely confused at night. She was blind and would get up out of bed and walk down the hall in nothing but a pair of socks. Once I was able to calm her down by telling her that everyone was asleep and the doors were all locked. Another time, if we needed to get a cath UA and she was fighting us, we could tell her that "Dr Joe wanted us to do this so we can make sure you are healthy" She loved her doc and usually did anything he said but once she sain "I don't give a da** what that doctor wants".

Another patient was rolling down the hall in her wheelchair with a baby doll in her lap. A CNA commented on her "Baby" and the patient said "I didn't want the little bugger, but they made me take her anyway. I can't have this baby, my husbands coming".

:confused:

Originally posted by prmenrs

Well, this isn't a little old lady story, but I took care of a baby for several months who had a trach and was ventilator dependent (yes, she got over all of it, and is an adorable 5y/o now). Anywho, she got into a routine of feedings and naps and other care, etc.; when she woke up from her nap, she would disconnect her vent tubing from her trach, and when we showed up a few seconds later, she'd hand it to us with a big ole grin on her face. We loved her!!

GRIN! ))))))))))

This is too cute!

"Goldy" had a fractured femur and was placed in Buck's traction. She would throw her other leg over the suspended one and swing it while singing bawdy songs (I always wondered about her past!). Her nurses, of course, charted all this, and the docs never read anything but the vitals, until the day one MD commented that he couldn't understand why there was NO sign of bone union. We told him. She was in a hip spica the next day.

She was cute, tho. She said to me one day (apropos of nothing that I can remember) "I know what kind of girl you are. It shows in your face. GOD will take care of you!" One of those occasions when you had to leave the room--to laugh.