How do you deal with backstabbing

Nurse Hatchett · Mar 15, 2005

How do you deal with the nasty comments, nit picking, back stabbing tattle tales at your facility?

Either ignore them or kill with kindness

NorthER,RN · Mar 15, 2005

It makes me crazy - so initially I try to ignore it, accentuating the positive, eating my lunch in places where the unhappy people don't gather to complain and dis others, and when that gets old I switch to different shifts if I can (usually end up working nights) and when that gets really old I start looking for a new place to work. That having been said, I now work with a tremendous group of nurses and doctors in a rural hospital, I have a fabulous DON who does so much to keep us happy in our work, and now I can go to work with a smile on my face and that helps me deal with the occasional patient from the shallow end of the gene pool. I always hoped that I would find the perfect job and now I have, just one hitch - it's a maternity leave replacement position which might end in August. Sigh.

zenman · Mar 15, 2005

How do you deal with the nasty comments, nit picking, back stabbing tattle tales at your facility?

Confront them each time till they realize that it's gonna happen till they stop. Lot of these types hate to be confronted...in public if need be.

barefootlady, ADN, RN · Mar 15, 2005

The first time I might ignore it, the second time I will discuss it with them, the third time I will discuss it with the person involved and HN. All the while praying for the person.

caroladybelle, BSN, RN · Mar 15, 2005

Either ignore them or kill with kindness

Ditto.

But as a traveler, I can always keep in the back of brain, "10 more weeks, just 10 weeks", and thank G-d that I am not regular staff.

No matter what your spiritual mind set, their karma will eventually return to them.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Mar 15, 2005

Ignore them, don't participate and confront if it involves me, or I feel it's unethical. Fortunately at the moment I'm not working with any that I'm aware of. If they are there, they are under my radar which is fine with me.

Good luck.

nursemike, ASN, RN · Mar 15, 2005

Confront them each time till they realize that it's gonna happen till they stop. Lot of these types hate to be confronted...in public if need be.

Excellent advice--but in public is a bit dire. Do it privately if you can.

shopgal, RN · Mar 15, 2005

At my job it's mostly the day staff that backbites, and us on noc shift just try to fly under the radar. I love working with women, but unfortunately, they do get a little more petty than men. I am a female noc nurse and I am happy that the main nurse that I work with is a male that has been in nsg for 35yrs. So he's pretty mello yellow about all of the backbiting. When the day nurses came on the other morning they asked one of the CNAs, "so what did they say about us when we left?" She replied, "Are you kidding, we have better things to talk about than you all. We talk about our crazy husbands and our kids that we'd like to give away!" I just think that those people are so miserable in their own lives that they are just happy to make anyone else miserable. I just stick my fingers in my ears and go, "La La La La."

Tweety, BSN, RN · Mar 15, 2005

shopgal, isn't that a bit of stereotyping, presuming women are more petty than men?

shopgal, RN · Mar 15, 2005

shopgal, isn't that a bit of stereotyping, presuming women are more petty than men?

I didn't say ALL, I said most. And it's great when you do find the few gems that aren't. I think that we all have a lot to learn from eachother and I think that we have enough working against us that we all need to stick together. That is why I don't get involved in all of the backbiting, I really try to build up, not tear down. In my place of work at this time, though, it's rampant right now and it's disheartening.

SmilingBluEyes · Mar 15, 2005

I confront them kindly and quietly. And it does work. DO NOT react by being passive-aggressive or doing the same thing. That definately makes it worse. BE direct and honest and above reproach.