Hooker in the house?

[anticoagulationurse]

I'm serious here and want to share a hunch and an LOL.

Did an admission visit on this fine Sunday morning for a man with whom I was familiar from a prior SNF job years ago. I remembered sort of joking around with him and he was always just shy of being inappropriately flirty and suggestive but not quite the dirty old man type. He would suggest me of his past and sexual laxity and personal history, I would shrug it off. He was never personally inappropriate so don't worry about that.

He has just been discharged yesterday from several months in SNF. He lives alone and does not have a SO. No girlfriend, just adult grown children. I sat in his home a small studio apartment which was quite disheveled from months of neglect. There were two TV's on, one pointed toward the bedroom area and blocking the view of that part of the space. The other was in the living room. Beneath the TV were many, many VHS and DVD's laying around including several obvious Media DVD's with let's just say, OBVIOUS titles and photos on the front. He apparently had not made any attempt to hide them (from me, or "his daughter":cool:). I noticed a woman's purse on the floor and did not comment on it. I also noticed his open wallet on the counter nearby and also of course, made no comment. I carried on with my professional visit.

At one point I heard a cough and rustling from the bedroom area. I asked him if there was someone there and he whispered that it was his daughter. She did not come out as I would expect most daughters to do, and participate in the visit and care of her "father". There was no further mention or discussion of her.

I highly suspect that after months in a SNF this guy had invited a booty call, possibly a paid one, as he denied having a SO. Just wanted to share some of the weird stuff we see in Home Health.

[caliotter3]

After all those months in the SNF he probably needed one. Hope he enjoyed himself.

[Carrie_MTC]

Doesn't suprise me lol. While in nursing school I worked as a Home Health Aide, and had a patient who was not much older than me in his late 20s. He locked the door behind me when I first got there which made me very uncomfortable. Then after I had been there maybe 20m. he put on a Media!! I politely told him it was inappropriate to please turn it off. Then like 10m. later he would put it back on. Needless to say that was one of the longest 8hour shifts I have ever worked. I forgot to mention he also took out his bong and was smoking pot, I was in shock, he even offered it to me:smokin:!!! I never told my employer the details, just told them I would no longer be caring for that client. That was probably my most crazy experience, but I've had quite a few lol

[nursel56]

Ditto to what Cali said. At least he didn't proposition the nursing staff.

[Not_A_Hat_Person, RN]

When I worked in an ALF, I encountered at least 3 male residents watching Media in their apartment, and I always knocked before entering.

[tewdles, RN]

wear gloves...lol

[KateRN1]

While I understand that this is all an attempt at being humorous, the reality is that our sexual selves don't shrivel up and die just because the rest of our body does. We can joke all we want about "dirty old men" but they're no different from our husbands, boyfriends, and in some cases here, our sons. We are all sexual beings and to ignore that part of our patients is to do them a real disservice. There's nothing wrong with a little "self-love" and while I don't exactly condone illegal acts of prostitution, I would want to make sure my patient understood the possibilities in terms of health risks.

One of the most interesting cases I ever had was an elderly couple where the wife had had valve repair surgery about 10 or 15 years earlier. Never one to shy away from sexuality, I discreetly asked if they were having any troubles in that area. She confided that the surgeon had told them not to engage in sexual activity until he gave her the green light. The problem was that the surgeon never mentioned it again and she was too timid to ask. For years, they had both wanted to try, but were too afraid to do anything without the surgeon's blessing. After a quick phone call to the PCP, they got the green light. The next time I saw them, they were both smiling. It was worth the little bit of initial embarrassment.

[anticoagulationurse]

Thanks, Kate RN1, while I did not address the sexuality questions on our admission forms (I never do), I certainly understand what you are saying and appreciate your story about the elderly couple. I do not care one iota what this man choses to do to himself or the woman hiding in the other room. None of my business. Just sharing what I thought was a funny and potentially awkward situation in which a man has his "daughter" in his bed in the next room, and makes no attempt at hiding his Mediaos from her or from ME for that matter or inviting her into the conversation about his medical care. He knew what time I would be arriving!

Also, the difference between my man and a dirty old man is, my man wouldn't grab at a young nurse's a$$ and shamelessly try to flirt and sexually harrass her like some of my "dirty old men" patients have (but not this one, as I pointed out originally).

[nursel56]

I agree with everything you said, Kate and I don't think any other post here disagrees with you. No one mocked or made a moral judgement or called the guys perverts (aka dirty old men). No one mentioned calling the police even though all of us know prostitution is illegal in most cases.

The situations are only humorous when the patient's need for privacy collides with the cramped quarters home health nurses face in our jobs.

Not A Hat Person - perhaps "Booty Call" should be written on the schedule to avoid such incidents occuring in the future? Special sign on the door? :

[RubyRN,CHPN]

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this thread, not because it was in anyway tittalating but because there were several good points being made. I remember being a relatively young nurse working for a home health agency and having to go out after hours to administer q8h IV infusion because pt. did not have capable CG to teach. I remember having to step over the guests passed out on the living room floor and upon attempting to leave an hour later, had to wait until the couple finished doing the deed before I could leave the pt's. room. Needless to say, supervisor got involved on the case and I never had to go again though it be so long ago, I don't remember what the solution was. I did see a gent once who lived in some apartments on the bad side of town on the first floor. The building was always locked. He charged cigarettes for admission after hours because some of the gals were hookers. He showed me his protection during a visit. After that I didn't have to see him anymore. Then there was the fellow that watched Media while our sister agency caregiver was there and she let him even during my visit. I had to put boundaries on that letting him and CG knew it interfered with the teaching plan because it was distracting to the patient. Needless to say, I made my point.

[Luv2care0907]

I read this post before going to sleep today, was troubled by it, but too tired to respond. Now that I am awake, I have to tell you that I think there is a marked line between healthy sex and perversion. I realize that sex is a need. Don't get me wrong. However, the latter can not only lead to physical issues but personal and emotional issues that can trickle down and effect the innocent. I, as a nurse, have had to listen to some very heart wrenching stories because of unwise sexual choices. I have seen Media ruin families. The Media industry uses people like this man to justify what they do. They honestly believe they are doing people like him a service and so they will rationalize all the horrors they bring on families by those people. I have had friends whose lives are in ruins because of Mediaography. I have seen videos of one Media star after the other that is dead due to drug overdose, suicide, and physical abuse (both male and female). It is the worst industry on the planet. I am sorry. I have to disagree with the idea that this is an example of something healthy. There is a right way to do things and a wrong one.

Also, as I recall, didn't we have to take a CEU on sexual abuse in the workplace? I remember doing that. This incident, according to that teaching, would have fallen into the category of mild-moderate sexual harassment if the tapes and their covers were sitting out in plain view complete with Mediaography.

[caliotter3]

For that matter, since the client knew the time of the nurse's visit, having his "visiting relative" over at that time was a taunt, and the entire situation could be called sexual harassment. A prudent, discreet person keeps their sex life private and doesn't flaunt it to a visiting professional. The agency will tell the nurse that he can do what he wants in his home, but they won't tell the nurse that she has a right not to be subject to unsavory experiences in the necessity of doing her job. I wonder if the client got the reaction he was hoping for.