Head, meet desk

You can't fix "stupid".

When my hospital gets really busy, the throughput person will often try to pend us boys into girls room/the opposite, or try to place an isolation in a semi-private. It always amazes me, because really? You can't take the extra two seconds to see that that isn't going to work out?

One time I was walking down the hall as a geurney rolled up (from the ER) with a female patient next to the room that my male patient was in. I quickly fixed that potential problem. This new patient was not my patient but since this happened, I double check the room to see if there is a male or female in the room before receiving report for an admission/transfer.

I had the same problem in my last building. I'd get a call about a potential admit. "I have no beds" I'd tell them. "What do you mean No beds?", they'd ask. It's not a difficult concept. We have 139 beds....there is a person in each one of those beds. There is no room and we don't do bunks. Some of the case managers were downright rude...When will you have a bed? I wanted to say On the 12th of NEVER unless you change your attitude.

I had the same problem in my last building. I'd get a call about a potential admit. "I have no beds" I'd tell them. "What do you mean No beds?", they'd ask. It's not a difficult concept. We have 139 beds....there is a person in each one of those beds. There is no room and we don't do bunks. Some of the case managers were downright rude...When will you have a bed? I wanted to say On the 12th of NEVER unless you change your attitude.

Once on a night shift I rec'd a call from admitting to which I replied "We are full. Sorry, but you'll have to look on another unit." This was met with "HOw can you be full?" Me: "We have no empty beds." Admitting clerk: "So, you won't take this pt?" Me: "Not unless you have bunk beds around here somewhere...." She didn't call back.... :)

It amazes me that with the millions of dollars of equipment that is in a modern hospital, they still can't figure out a way to keep up with open beds (besides a big white board where I used to work.) I mean how hard can it be? Even the Motel 6 down the street can figure it out. They can do surgery with robots on blood vessels the size of thread, but they can't figure out that 139 beds and 139 patients means 0 empty beds.

As soon as I realized that I could only take a male pt, I said to someone "watch, they will spend the whole day trying to send me females" . Yep - that is what happened!

I told one of my doctors "You need to sit down and explain the difference between a member and a lady parts~" She just laughed.

I guess the next call from admitting will be "I have a female but this one looks kind of masculine.Got a bed?"

I've dealt with that...told the throughput person that the only way we could take more patients was if she sent maintenance to string up a few hammocks.