Grief and concentration

Simplepleasures · Feb 22, 2008

Oh my gosh, SO SORRY. Its no wonder that you are having a hard time concentrating. It is a tribute to your daughter and your own strength that you didn't drop out for awhile. My best wishes to you and success in school, you can use your tragedy to help others in your future career as a nurse.Are you seeing a grief counselor? There are also support groups for parents who have lost children. Stay on these forums and keep us updated.:heartbeat

http://www.griefnet.org/support/sg2.html

HGJ78 · Feb 22, 2008

I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. I experienced a loss during school and I found myself so unmotivated that I actually decided to take a break. It took me almost 4 years to become motivated to go back to school. For me, the break was needed. I am fortunate to have found resources and support from parents that have been in my shoes. There is nothing like the pain of losing a child no matter what the circumstances or their age.

I was also so fortunate to find a program that allowed me to appeal my GPA during that time. I was able to write to the DON at my school and explain what I had been through as well as why I felt that I would be a better nurse because of the time that I had allowed myself to heal. I wish you the best whatever you decide to do. Check into parents bereavement groups, they are in every area and having someone to talk to that really knows how you are feeling is a comfort.

moosiesmom · Feb 22, 2008

Hi all,
I lost my daughter to a heroin overdose in April, 2007. I was in school at the time, and I am still am. I have completed 5 semesters, this being my sixth. I am currently taking micro and APII. I am doing okay in micro and doing awful (F) in APII. I have been having a hard time concentrating, and just wondered if anyone had any ideas, suggestions, encouragement, or whatever you can provide, I would appreciate it. I have never experienced such pain. I was hoping to start NS in the fall, but with failing APII this semester, its not going to happen......GRRRR:cry:

I have no words that could express how bad I feel for your pain. There just are no words. :redpinkhe

flightnurse2b, LPN · Feb 22, 2008

i am so sorry to hear about the loss of your daugther. my prayers are with you and your family. i also experienced a loss during school and i took time off. i needed time to just concentrate on me and get myself healthy because i was so grief stricken i couldnt eat or sleep or function normally. grieving takes a long time and esp. after such a tragic loss you may need some extra support. talk to your physician about what they recommend. what helped me alot with concentration was exercise. it gives you a place to channel negative energy and helped me physically feel better. journaling helps alot too. i think once i was able to get past some of those emotions i was buried under, my mind was more clear. let yourself heal and know its ok to be set back at this time. you will get there and become a nurse!

i wish you good luck, strength and peace.

danissa, LPN, LVN · Feb 22, 2008

(((((seasoned hopeful)))))...thats all I can say babe, just :icon_hug::icon_hug::icon_hug: to you. best of luck in achieving your goals in the face of grief. You are one brave gal.

WDWpixieRN, RN · Feb 22, 2008

I honestly have no great words of wisdom. I was working full-time and waiting entrance to NS with all my prereqs, etc. done. My mom passed away VERY unexpectedly in her sleep in CA the spring before I was to start NS -- had just turned 69 and was in perfect health, so it seemed. I was able to take time to go attend to her affairs and clean up her things so my brother could sell her home, but I only had 5 months between dealing with that and starting school.

It wasn't easy. Everytime they would bring up something that would remind me of my mom, I would lose it a bit. This semester we're studying cardio and it's believed that's what she died from (no autopsy). I sit and wonder a lot during lecture and while studying.

There is probably no greater pain or loss than what you've suffered. However great my pain was and is, you have been dealt one of the ultimate blows. If you need to take time off, then do so. If you feel you need to go on, but are having difficulty, then make a decision about which route you want to go and then make up your mind to do it. Perhaps do it in honor of your daughter with the thought in mind that your experience will make you a better nurse for parents going through similar difficulties or with the goal of working in psych/drug addictions.

Again, I don't have any wise words; I think you've got some great direction from other posters. Just know we all sympathize and wish you the best whatever your choice is from here!

:icon_hug:

seasoned hopeful · Feb 23, 2008

Thank you all for your kindness and compassion......I know it is possible, I need to be kind and patient with myself, and if it takes a year long, so be it. THANK YOU:redbeathe

WDWpixieRN, RN · Feb 23, 2008

I would just like to add that I see that you, too, are a non-traditional student....when I graduate in May, I will be 52....I think I'm the oldest in my class, but I swear the class a year ago had at least 4 or 5 students that were closer to 60...I haven't found age to be an issue in this profession so far, so if you need the extra semester to catch your breath, then do so....

I think you said it perfectly -- be kind and patient with yourself....bless you....

picurn10 · Feb 23, 2008

I'm so sorry for your loss :cry: My brother killed himself just a few weeks before classes started in '00 and I dropped out that semester. I thought I was ready to go back the following semester, but I was so depressed, had so much trouble concentrating, etc... that I should have given myself more time. Now I have a full school year of terrible grades to show for it :down: I'm trying to figure out how to get them appealed so that I have a better shot with NS, but I don't know....

Just give yourself all the time that you need. I've found that the grief sort of comes in cycles and so you'll think you're doing a lot better and then a new wave will hit you, and it feels like you're back at square one.

Also, don't rule out antidepressants if you aren't already on them. I know my parents sort of took a no-drugs route, thinking that they were being tough, but in hindsight they wish they'd have been more forgiving of themselves.

Aagin, I am so sorry :redbeathe

seasoned hopeful · Feb 23, 2008

Thank you so much. Your kindness helped. I probably will need to drop APII and just do well in micro. Retake APII next semester, or next fall. You all are right. Taking it easy for one semester will not make a difference in the long run. I guess I just need to take time to feel the pain and mourn.

My daughter was so proud of me studying to be a nurse. I know this experience will help in my nursing career somewhere. And when I graduate, I know she will be right there with me.:redbeathe

moosiesmom · Feb 23, 2008

Thank you so much. Your kindness helped. I probably will need to drop APII and just do well in micro. Retake APII next semester, or next fall. You all are right. Taking it easy for one semester will not make a difference in the long run. I guess I just need to take time to feel the pain and mourn.
My daughter was so proud of me studying to be a nurse. I know this experience will help in my nursing career somewhere. And when I graduate, I know she will be right there with me.:redbeathe

Yes, she will be there with you, and so will we.............