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Discussion

Fmla for depression/anxiety

Hi everyone,

I have worked at my facility for 4 years. I believe I have built a strong relationship with my employers (I love my job, have excellent attendance, only written up once for a minor etc).

To make a very long story short, I have bipolar disorder/anxiety that has been under control for years, with medication.

Very recently I have relapsed into a severe depression. Work has been a source of "stress relief" for me for quite some time, but my psychiatrist thinks it is only a matter of time before I experience a major breakdown. She is recommending I take time off work (about 6 weeks) to undergo a cognitive behavior therapy program.

I love where I work, and I have no idea how to bring this up to my administrator. Nobody knows about my illness. I keep my personal matters to myself, and rarely socialize with my coworkers just to keep things professional.

My personal life has deteriorated badly, and I believe my quality of life will improve if I go through this therapy program.

My psychiatrist told me I can take the time off under california FMLA (she will provide necessary medical documentation, but it will be coming from a psychiatrist.) I have looked through the employee handbook, and it looks like I can take time off with medical documentation.

I guess my question is should I take the time off? I don't even know how to bring this up to my administrator! Nobody at work knows what I am going through. I don't want rumors to start, and for word to get out about my "condition."

My other option is to have my medications increased, and to continue to work....its just that my body is so tired of these meds. I think I am ready to really do intensive therapy. Just not sure I can take the time off, or if I will even have a job to return to. ((sigh))

Any thoughts/opinions on how I should approach this? Thanks guys

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    • Featured Replies

    No no no, do not increase meds if you don't have to. You should take time off, but like you I would feel uncomfortable disclosing my condition and I would be afraid of being judged. Is there any way to make it sound like you aren't the one with the issue, rather you need to spend more time with your family/spouse/whoever and you need to be off for them?

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    • Author

    My doc told me I would be able to get disability pay while undergoing the CBT program, so I am pretty sure I have to tell them I am sick in order to get paid :(

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    You should be able to trust your manager (I'd hope) to not spread anything around about your depression.

    I'd hope that if you stressed to him/her that you try to keep personal and professional separated that he/she would respect that. If anybody questioned your absence the manager could just say it's for personal matters. You could also say it was personal issues when you got back (as people will likely question you). I'd think after a week or two of being back everyone would stop asking.

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    You should be able to trust your manager (I'd hope) to not spread anything around about your depression.

    I'd hope that if you stressed to him/her that you try to keep personal and professional separated that he/she would respect that. If anybody questioned your absence the manager could just say it's for personal matters. You could also say it was personal issues when you got back (as people will likely question you). I'd think after a week or two of being back everyone would stop asking.

    THIS.

    For you health, approach your manager and let then know that you need time off and just state it as such; that may be all that you need, then go through HR for a STD and go from there.

    Sending positive vibes to your recovery.

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    • Author

    I am hoping I can be non-specific and say "medical issue".... and you're right about being able to trust my managers. I do for the most part, but you never know. I guess I just want a job to come back to, regardless of who knows about my issues. I want them to know I can still be trustworthy and a good employee, and hopefully if I end up taking the leave I will come back a better person AND a better nurse!

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    I would not give specifics to your manager about your condition. I would just stress you need the time off for medical reasons. This isn't bc you should feel ashamed but because you need to protect your own health information.

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    I would not give specifics to your manager about your condition. I would just stress you need the time off for medical reasons. This isn't bc you should feel ashamed but because you need to protect your own health information.

    Exactly. And you need to do this. It will pay off more than meds most likely.

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    • Guides

    Please don't rely solely on medications to help you through this bad patch. Follow the recommendation of your psychiatrist and attend the CBT program. I know from my own experiences with bipolar 1 that ignoring one's mental health usually results in disaster. Don't let fear of exposure at work keep you from getting the help you need.....toughing it out doesn't work in the long run.

    There is no reason to disclose your illness to anyone but HR unless you need accommodations when you return to work. They are required to maintain your privacy. Your supervisor only needs to know that you're going out for personal reasons, nothing more.

    Get the help you need. Be well. I wish you the best.

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    Is there an HR or benefits department you can contact directly? To apply for FMLA your Dr probably needs to supply specific Dx info. In many cases an outside company administers the FML and disability. Sometimes the manager doesn't even know why the person is on FML. In any event, you do have a right to privacy, and your manager needs to respect your privacy.

    good luck, take care of yourself.

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    It's none of your coworkers business should you opt to take time off - that is between your boss and HR. I completely disagree with not being honest about why you are needing time off. You have nothing to be ashamed of! Why should you make it sound like someone else is sick? If it were your heart or liver or whatever the case you wouldn't lie then. There is nothing to be ashamed of here...as far as increasing meds - do NOT listen to anyone here - THAT is a decision ONLY you and your doctor can make. Someone one here telling you not to increase the medications that have allowed you to function is liking advising someone to not increase their insulin when it becomes no longer effective.

    If work is a stress relief & you enjoy it then give a little more thought to taking completely off - if work helps you & keeps you stable in some way now is not the time to abruptly stop in my humble opinion. Maybe cut back hours?

    OP: mental illness & what needs to be done to help someone struggling with it is nothing to be ashamed of. I keep my private life private as you do - there is nothing wrong with that. My coworkers are not my friends & work life is separate from personal life & that is perfectly ok!

    Take care of yourself, do what is right & honest for YOU. Good luck.

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