Excuses for Missing Work

"I can't come to work today b/c I'll be stalking my previous Unit Manager who fired me from the last job for not showing up for work. OK?"

"Constipation has made me a walking time bomb!"

"I was bitten by my own dog" This was somewhat believable until it was used on 3 consecutive weekend shifts.

One that I heard from a former visiting nurse(and she had a ton of excuses) was "I can't get into work today. I have no money here to put gas into my car." Also, "my friend's dog bit me".

And she had more car accidents than any of us. Two involved being rearended at a Tim Horton's coffee shop, and one was in a Tim Horton's parking lot!. She's not working in community anymore.......

In the same vein as Kevin's ... Can't work today, terrible back trouble, I can't get it off the bed!

Running out of clean clothes. I guess instead of calling in sick, that would be calling in naked.

Love

Dennie

I'm locked *IN* my house!

I've used the "I'm flooded in" excuse before... not unbelievable where I live (as long as it's raining ).

How about adding this to the list. Fell at work spraining your knee and our employer suspenses you for thirty days.

How about this......someone on restrictions d/t a back injury caused at work, calling in stating "I hurt my back again moving my couch".....

My first husband called off a lot. One night I was driving him and one of his coworker's home, and he asked what I'd been doing all day. "Not much," I replied, "I was visiting with Dad."

Coworker slid away from me and gave me a really strange look.

Turns out the last excuse was that "my father-in-law died."

ps Not only was he not dead, he's still very much alive today at age 84. 

I've used up all my sick days. So, I'm calling in dead.