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Discussion

Do you ever feel the need to defend other coworkers?

At my workplace, I have a coworker whom I have great respect for and work well with.  Unfortunately, there are some other coworkers who don't think as highly of her.  I get the impression some aren't pleased with her work ethic, because they often comment on her "sitting at the nurse's station doing nothing."  The thing is, I can verify that she is not always at the nurse's station and when she is, she most certainly is working.  Sometimes she is charting while other times she's working on orders.  In other words, she's doing anything but nothing.   She's a strong patient advocate all day.  

I often feel the need to stand up for her because I feel she is being criticized unnecessarily.   She is a key asset to the nursing team, and I don't want others to think differently.  

Anyone else feel the need to defend and/or stick up for a coworker? 

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    • Featured Replies

    Boundaries, so no.

    It is simply not my job to buff up the reputation of a coworker. The coworkers are entitled to their opinions, and I do not control that.

    If the nurse has a problem with getting along with coworkers, it is her problem to solve, and I will not be involved unless she directly asks for my advice. Keep it professional by not getting overly involved with these types of matters.

     

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    18 hours ago, SilverBells said:

    [...]  

    I often feel the need to stand up for her because I feel she is being criticized unnecessarily.   She is a key asset to the nursing team, and I don't want others to think differently.  

    Anyone else feel the need to defend and/or stick up for a coworker? 

    Rather than "... defend[ing] and/or stick[ing] up for a coworker..." (which isn't appropriate as the unit manager), why don't you work on shutting down the gossip and improving what is, at least in my mind, a toxic work environment (which is not only appropriate, but part of your job as the unit manager). 

    But then, I think you already knew this.

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    I wouldn't get involved in such conversations beyond something like "if there's constructive criticism for a coworker please address them directly, beyond that this type of conversation isn't appropriate". If you're seen as defending one coworker over others it's only going to add to what already appears to be a difficult social environment. As a manager it's totally not okay to be involved in such conversations, you will be perceived as promoting favoritism at some point which will make things worse. 

    People are people and there's not much you can do to change someone else's opinion. 

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    • Author

    One instance has come up in which therapy has reported concerns about this nurse's bedside manner; per therapy, a patient has reported her as being rude and difficult to work with.  I know this nurse in question has excellent bedside manner, but now I have to follow up because apparently therapy's opinions trump anyone else's.  I am not sure why, but I perceive the DON as favoring therapy because she always seems to take their word on everything.   I honestly think it's ridiculous to write someone up based on therapy's report.  I do feel the need to stand up for a nurse that I know does a good job, because, from my perspective, therapy dislikes this nurse and to me, their constant criticism of her is undeserved and unwarranted 

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    Presenting an opposing view to your DON is a reasonable action on behalf of this nurse. If the patient hasn't complained, perhaps the DON will also seek their opinion and then your point out view may be backed up. Until something like that happens, getting into a therapy said/nursing said isn't going to do much to help that nurse. Your original post seemed to focus on coworker relationships, not anything involving the DON or supervisors, that's a slightly different scenario. 

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    • Guides
    12 hours ago, SilverBells said:

    One instance has come up in which therapy has reported concerns about this nurse's bedside manner; per therapy, a patient has reported her as being rude and difficult to work with.  I know this nurse in question has excellent bedside manner, but now I have to follow up because apparently therapy's opinions trump anyone else's.  I am not sure why, but I perceive the DON as favoring therapy because she always seems to take their word on everything.   I honestly think it's ridiculous to write someone up based on therapy's report.  I do feel the need to stand up for a nurse that I know does a good job, because, from my perspective, therapy dislikes this nurse and to me, their constant criticism of her is undeserved and unwarranted 

    In SNF and rehab environments therapy is king as they generate the balance of revenue!

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    • Experts

    Some feel a need to criticize others in order to elevate their own low self-esteem. By focusing on others' shortcomings, they avoid the difficult chore of self-evaluation because that's a scary task to undertake. And all emotions stem from either love or fear.

    People who use this tact of indiscriminately criticizing others are looking for support on their perceptions which gives them a feeling of power. The mere act of giving their perceptions attention gives them a feeling of some power, because they're getting others' attention.

    A tried-and-true method of quelling low self-esteem attention getters is to not feed their monkey. Since ignoring others may be interpreted as uncaring and rude, there is a technique called loving indifference. Loving indifference is a technique whereby we respectfully act without compulsion.

    When asked why I did not respond to others' negative comments, I have replied, "I'm practicing being lovingly indifferent". Usually that was enough to avoid further conversation, but if pressed, I would explain that I was neutrally avoiding casting aspersions.

    Forced sighs were usually their reply, but all-in-all they would give me what I wanted and leave me alone.

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    If their reputation proceeds them there is no need to. Any defense or lack of is validation of that reputation.

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    • Experts

    After posting, I thought about your described situation more, SilverBells, and the fact that you're in a managerial position as my response was slanted to more of a peer relationship.

    Some staff will approach a manager with their perceptions or opinions regarding other staff members. Naturally, it is assumed that the manager needs to be informed and deal with the situation.

    Assurance that they have been heard through verbal listening- repeating what was said in our own words- and assurance that action will be taken is all that needs to take place.

    If the point is repetitively beleaguered, as is often the case, the technique described above is repeated. When the dead horse again receives a beating, a concrete approach is taken.

    For example, I have said something along the lines of, "Look. A situation was reported to me. I let it be known that I understood the information.  I said that the situation will be dealt with. No further discussion needs to take place, thank you very much. A good day to you"

    I love British politeness.

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    We’re all adults here. Let her defend herself unless there is an actual investigation to which you know the facts that would prove her non-involvement. Like say there was a fall with critical injury, and she was written up because she took an extra long break and wasn’t there to catch the bed alarm going off. If you knew the facts, that say she was in the middle of transferring a patient, then you can get involved. Otherwise, let her stand up for herself. If she doesn’t want people talking about her work ethic she should confront them directly about it. Or take the high road approach. Not everyone is going to like you. Not everyone will appreciate you. They do in fact have to work with you in order to take care of the patient, no matter how awkward that may feel. 

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    On 12/27/2021 at 6:56 PM, SilverBells said:

    One instance has come up in which therapy has reported concerns about this nurse's bedside manner; per therapy, a patient has reported her as being rude and difficult to work with.  I know this nurse in question has excellent bedside manner, but now I have to follow up because apparently therapy's opinions trump anyone else's.  I am not sure why, but I perceive the DON as favoring therapy because she always seems to take their word on everything.   I honestly think it's ridiculous to write someone up based on therapy's report.  I do feel the need to stand up for a nurse that I know does a good job, because, from my perspective, therapy dislikes this nurse and to me, their constant criticism of her is undeserved and unwarranted 

    In your position, you have to look into any concerns that are brought to your attention regardless of what your own opinions are. That is part of being a manager. If you were a floor nurse, you wouldn’t have to deal with all of this.

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