Burnt Bridges

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Ever notice in this career field, it is more about WHO you know, rather than WHAT you know?

Let me preface this post by stating I am not trying to brag, rub anything in anyone's face, or anything of the sort. I have been tremendously lucky- and I recognize that.

Continuing on...

I guess it all goes back to that very old saying "never burn your bridges". (I live by this):up:

I mention this, because many of my friends are having trouble finding nursing jobs as new grads and as nurses with 1-3 years experience. However I have been incredibly fortunate and have (as a new grad myself) had many offers and opportunities come my way, from ER positions to Oncology to Correctional positions. And it seems to be attributed to "knowing the right people". Where as my friends who are having difficulty, have bad references, left their job on less than ideal terms, etc...

I guess my thought is, something so seemingly simple, really seems to go A LONG way.

My question is, has anyone else ever noticed this as clearly as I have? and I was wondering if anyone had any stories about bridges burned intentionally/unintentionally that they really wish they hadnt?

Finally, I'd like to add- that I'd like to think I do know a little "WHAT", along with the "WHO". lol

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Specializes in ICU, ER, EP,.

I don't have any experience with "who" I know getting positions but having an excellent record gets me interviews and an offer.

Even excellent job references from working the same minimum wage job through 4 years of nursing school says something about an applicant.

I'm a strong believer in never lighting a match near a bridge:smokin:

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Its called Karma.

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Well, my story is NOT of a professional nature. Relatives for whom I haven't seen for over 20 years ended up living with me and my brother. The reason? blah, blah --- long story. These people were driving me crazy and my brother. I mean really, I have family and relatives that I've known all my life. I've always been thought of the saying -- You do for family. But, honestly, people who say that usually have a lot of BS anyway. Where does someone draw the line? Especially, if people are naturally annoying without knowing it? My relatives (aunt and uncle) produced annoying kids. This family had issues that had nothing to do with me. Let me see... inconsiderate, irresponsible, don't care attitude slobs, etc. One day, they were told they had to go. No, I don't regret that day -- because that's the day, when I finally stood on my ground. These people were driving me nuts. Yes, I was criticized badly by both close family and younger brother's current gf's mom -->> SHE seems to think she has the right to put in her two cents on everything (I dunno why)?

So Anyway, to make long story short -- same relatives that I 'burnt bridges with' ended up living with my immediate family (mom, brother, gf and new nephew), full time. Needless to say, I WAS RIGHT.

My immediate family just CAN'T stand relatives either. They've only been living all together for LESS than 3 months, and my immediate family and brother's gf want them out already! I just love it when I'm right. Sometimes, I wonder why people have to learn the hard way? Lol :) Who's laughing now? ME BABY! NO REGRETS, THAT'S RIGHT NONE WHATSOEVER.

The other day, my mom, younger brother and his gf were telling me some stuff about relatives -- I just couldn't stop laughing! I thought, IF mom just listened to me, all of them wouldn't get so irritated in the first place. I guess I know now where I get my stubborn side. lol.

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So Anyway, to make long story short -- same relatives that I 'burnt bridges with' ended up living with my immediate family (mom, brother, gf and new nephew), full time. Needless to say, I WAS RIGHT.

Vegas2009, Seems as if THEY burnt THEIR bridges with YOU who was willing to help THEM out. Not you buring yours! That would've drove me NUTS!:eek: and I would have absolutely done the same thing! :up:

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Hey Vossome,

YES THEY DID. I have no interest in keeping in touch with these particular relatives. Especially the aunt-IN-LAW. My aunt in FL and my grandmother don't like her either. I CAN SEE/UNDERSTAND WHY.

Sometimes, I feel sorry for my uncle for marrying her. I guess he didn't know what he was getting into, at that time. I'm just glad I don't need to deal with them and their weird and annoying family. The sad part is, aunt and uncle aren't smart enough to realize that, "they shouldn't burn any bridges" at all. Especially if they'll be needing all the help they can get.

P.S. YES, I'M CHANGING ALL THE LOCKS once relatives move ALL their stuff out. Or, re-keying them at least.

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Specializes in NICU, ER, OR.

i know what your saying, and its true, it all who you know...in most areas of life, not just healthcare..

but for me, thank god.. early on in my career, i burned some very large bridges.... I had some personal issues, and left, I believe 3 jobs at good hospitals.... I did however pull my act together, and I landed a job at a prestigious hospital, because i interviewed well, know my stuff, and was completely honest about my past.... 7 years ago, a new grad could pick their speciaticu, l and d, whereever... not so much these days

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I've burned a couple, fairly recently, one through outright stupidity, one through no fault of my own, and I am sick with worry. Hopefully, my otherwise excellent past will help me out.

I've noticed that once a bridge is burned, no matter how hard you try to rebuild it, it doesn't hold up anymore.

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Building bridges is as important as not burning them! It's called networking. I stay in touch with coworkers and instructors from nursing school. Networking is the key to getting the job you want! :)

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Networking is the key to getting the job you want!

Yes. People don't seem to get this crucial point and it really hurts them.

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Specializes in Geriatrics, Adult Psych, Peds HH.

I burnt a few bridges during my CNA days, one at a decent hospital and one at a large nursing home chain. I was under a ton of pressure at home and undergoing a major shift in my personal life while being pregnant.

Trust me when I tell you....once it's burnt, it's hard to get back! Not only that, you never know who your ex-boss/coworkers know!

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Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.

Emotional intelligence and discernment are the key things to avoid burning bridges, but unfortunately for many, that takes time to mature. It takes a mature person to critically think about what words and actions can make one suffer later on down the road.

I find that it is who as well as what you know, also, because if the "who' did not recognize that you have quality talents to share, the 'what' you know may not matter.

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