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Discussion

Bullying

Hi all!

I'm not sure if this belongs under the Bullying category, but I am starting to feel bullied. I

t all started when I informed the director of our unit the reason for the delays in getting patients admitted from the psych ER to our inpatient unit was because the patient assessments had not been done earlier while the patients were waiting for available beds, some 12 or more hours previously.

I did not seek out the director and say, "hey look, So-and-So wasn't doing their job for the previous 5 hours before I came to work". However, this nurse was spoken to about the delays. This nurse now believes that I "tattle-tailed" on her and has demanded an apology!

I do not feel I owe her any apology and have told her so. I have also told her that I did not seek out to get her in any trouble, just stated the facts of our delay in treating patients.

Since this time....over a month now....she refuses to talk to me except for the bare minimal required of us in order to do our work (it's a small admissions office). And she never lets an opportunity go by where she points out an error that I have made. I respond each time by saying, "Thank you for pointing that out to me!"

In addition, she will inform me when I come in for my shift that all assessments were done, will roll her eyes at me, and state "so there's no reason to tell on me!" I ignore these remarks.

I do not wish to escalate this drama any further. I think the whole thing is so juvenile. My purpose in posting about this incident is to gain feedback. Thanks.

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    • Featured Replies

    That's not bullying, that's the consequence of reporting someone's work directly to their director and now she neither likes you nor will let any of your errors slide.

    Give it time and keep your ship straight.

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    This doesn't sound like bullying to me. You went over her head, she got reprimanded, she's pissed off at you. She'll get over it.

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    • Expert

    Next time you have an issue with your co-worker, tell your co-worker, first. That gives him/her the opportunity to correct what s/he's doing wrong. If it doesn't get corrected, then take it to the manager.

    What your co-worker is doing isn't very professional, but it's not bullying.

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    • Expert

    I would say that is bullying. if she makes you feel bullied the intent is irrelevant.

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    Bullying or not bullying, it's certainly super childish, petty and unprofessional on her part. But I think that the way you're responding is exactly right. Be the professional she's not.

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    To loriangel- then by using your criteria the OP may have made her coworker feel bullied by reporting her.

    I don't see any bullying going on here. The OP upset her coworker by reporting her and the coworker is responding by being less than pleasant.

    As long as the coworker is communicating enough to assure patient care, which OP indicates is being done she should just let it ride until the bad feelings pass.

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    What your colleague is doing is incivility with a bit of harassment on the side, keep being civil with her, give her time to get over it. You may need to make an effort to restore her trust in you. Have you told her you are sorry that she was reprimanded and explained that you did not seek out the manager, but rather you were caught off guard when asked by the manager to explain why there was a delay in the admission and answered with truth. If you haven't communicated how the 'complaint' transpired she will not know and may be angry based on assumptions.

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    Regardless of whether the OP went over her coworker's head or not, the way her coworker is responding to the situation is immature and unprofessional, particularly the snide remarks with the eye-rolling. We do not know if the OP's director approached her and asked why admissions were being delayed, or if the OP approached the director. If it is the former, then informing the coworker of her need to improve was not a feasible option. If it is the latter, then yes, the OP should have presented her concerns to the coworker before going to the director. However, that does not justify the coworker's child-like behavior.

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    OP called it bullying, that's not bullying.

    It is a non professional immature way of responding.

    When is OP going to be direct with this coworker and tell her to check her childishness and non professionalism?

    There's such a contradiction in nursing. Here we are dealing with death and tragedy but we get uncomfotable and avoid speaking directly.

    I'm not sure how it went down, but if I rightously told my director that the problem lay with the coworker then I'd own it and tell the coworker she needs to perform and that these ongoing retorts are creating a childish working relationship so let's talk it out and get it behind us and back to working as a team.

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    No, it's not bullying, but would it kill you to try and smooth things over with her? Even though she is being childish, you still have to deal with each other, and it wouldn't hurt anything to try and fix things. Just take her aside one day and say something like "Look, I'm really sorry you got in trouble for what I said. I did not mean that to happen at all. I gave feedback about a problem and didn't say any names and I had no idea it would come down on you, and I'm sorry that it did. Can I buy you a cup of coffee or something to make up for it?".

    What would it hurt to rise above it and be the bigger person?

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    Agree with Libby's recommendation to approach the problem directly and say to the colleague 'let's talk it out, get it behind us and get back to working as a team'

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    No, it's not bullying, but would it kill you to try and smooth things over with her? Even though she is being childish, you still have to deal with each other, and it wouldn't hurt anything to try and fix things. Just take her aside one day and say something like "Look, I'm really sorry you got in trouble for what I said. I did not mean that to happen at all. I gave feedback about a problem and didn't say any names and I had no idea it would come down on you, and I'm sorry that it did. Can I buy you a cup of coffee or something to make up for it?".

    What would it hurt to rise above it and be the bigger person?

    The OP is being the bigger person by ignoring the crap her coworker is trying to put on her. There is no reason for the Op to talk it out or suck up to this person. Hang tough and good luck.

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