Accepting aging and disability

I suppose no one likes to think they will never be independent. And the baby boomers (me too!) are all about personal freedom. But it seems to me that once you accept the challenge of being dependent you accept that you are in the dying process. No wonder people put it off.

How sad and bound to get worse as our population continues to love longer.

I was thinking we might not be living longer. Not with the incidence of type 2 and now heart disease in kids. Someone posted about their LTC patient caseload, out of all of the patients he/she was responsible for, 22 needed finger sticks. That had to be at least half, right?

As one of those thus unprepared (and married to another), I can tell you that it's not for lack of knowledge, forethought, or caring. Since what was laughingly known as my retirement account dropped 60% in the late unpleasantness and the home equity is almost maxed out, we have decided that even with the LTC insurance (which costs me a fortune), the best thing is to avoid any treatment for anything that might possibly kill us.

Fortunately, we know this better than most. Documentation is cheap, and in our house, abundant.

During our admission process we always ask if the patient has an advance directive and it's very surprising to me that 99% of the older population doesn't even know what that is. I feel like we're in an era that pushes people to be prepared for worse case scenarios. I know my parents have a living will, advance directives, a planned POA if the time comes when they need one, etc., etc. I guess I'm misinformed in that area or the baby boomers just were never pushed to be as prepared for life threatening situations as today's generations are.

As for financials, I can understand why one would not be as prepared in this category, especially in this economy. Plus I can't think of anyone that wants to get older and end up in a nursing home. If and when older adults get to that stage of their life it takes time to adjust to the idea of moving into one and often times it's too late by that point. Not enough money, insurance won't cover it, they're too sick, they're not sick enough... It's a crazy crazy business-run world we live in.

It's funny you said that, because I was just thinking, I will let my cancer kill me before I go into a nursing home. I can't think of a more horrid existence than being stuck in a home.

My goal was to say it so often that my kids rolllllll their eyes and recite it along with me, so I know they've got it and there will be no fighting over it:

"At some point some smartass case manager is going to tell you I'm not safe to go home. At that point, you sign me out AMA and spend what's needed for home care. I would rather trip over a cat on my own stairs and fall down and break my neck and die in my own front hall than spend three days, three weeks, or three years in a SNF."

They've got it.