My unit manager is a woman far removed from bedside nursing. She cares very much about unit reputation and customer service (to the point we are expected to put up with verbal abuse from patients and their families) but that's a tangent for a different post.

My concern is her habit of name dropping. She likes to pull us into the office and say "Jane the nurse said you did/said xyz". If you go to her with a safety concern or professional conduct concern, she demands the name of the employee of concern instead of listening to the actual concern. Then she pulls the accused in her office and says "so and so said you did this" and that creates tension at work- to the point that safety concerns are not being addressed out of fear of creating "drama" or animosity. Even if someone submits an anonymous incident report, she will go to no ends to find out who wrote it. We are generally a pretty tight knit unit, but no one is perfect and some people get lazy and become unsafe. Most of us are really good about reminding each other gently of some of these things (example: hey man you forgot to clear your pumps yesterday. Oops! My bad. I'll do it today thanks for reminder. Simple and friendly) But not every nurse and tech is open to constructive criticism from their peers, and that's where the unit manager should step in. Depending on who the nurse is, we are held to different standards. A glaring example is a nurse who never gives report and leaves early every day... this is okay for him but if another nurse did this and someone complained, in the office for her! The manager also has a bad habit of not allowing us to complete our sentences, defend ourselves against said accusations, or voice any concerns that aren't her own. I'm fearful of two things: repercussions of going to HR (bc somehow she finds out EVERYTHING), and the other fear is the whole purpose of this post - am I over reacting or is this just plain professional misconduct on her part? A manager cannot manage a unit she single handedly divided, but I have not been a unit manager, only a shift supervisor at a sub acute rehab, and at my current job only a charge nurse so I may not understand why things are the way they are... help!

The Peter Principle is a theory originated by Dr. Laurence J. Peter. It states that successful members of a hierarchical organization are eventually promoted to their highest level of competence, after which further promotion raises them to a level at which they are not competent.

Her 'school yard snitch/bully' management is actually pretty pervasive in nursing. The Divide and Conquer Strategy has been around since organized management. The intention is to put people at odds by creating tension so they are afraid to unify leaving the manager to scoop up the power. 'Playing favorites' is just another lazy management tool in her Machiavellian tool box.

Going to HR is just going to put a target on your back, because she'll get wind of it. Staying the course is probably going to go sideways if patient safety is being compromised. Especially if something happens to patients are in your care at the time.

Whether you informed the UM, HR on the DON about said safety concerns. When it comes to the corporate musical chairs blame game, you can bet only management have seats when the music stops.

I'd either look for a new job or figure out ways to out maneuver her while staying on your A game. Continue to be the professional, she is not capable of being. Lead by example, even if it's from the floor. Figure out ways to diffuse the situation among your team mates. We dance in the back when the patients are at lunch.

Consider taking a course with Dr. George Thompson or picking up his book, Verbal Judo.

He's an expert in verbal conflict resolution.

Verbal Judo

I would mind my own business whenever humanly possible. Half the things that people report involve an attempt to distinguish oneself on the part of the reporter. I don't remember the last time I participated in "unprofessional conduct" reporting; it's too subjective and is usually one-sided and I utterly despise the related drama. I'm neither a paid peer-evaluator nor a professional tattle-tale.

Not nitpicking your post, but I'll use your example of clearing pumps - - where would you say that something like clearing pumps registers on a priority list on any given busy day? I'd say it's toward the bottom, all things considered - - wouldn't you?

Let these things go. There's "safety concern" and then there's unsafe/dangerous. Learn to distinguish the two. If there is any question how/why I say this - - it's because I have seen a few real, serious safety issues. Without fail they are either 1) A direct, predictable result of changes enacted knowingly by management because they serve some business purpose or 2) A result of failure to terminate seriously harmful employees in a timely manner.

All this other malarkey you're talking about stems from too many people trying to fulfill emotional needs while at work. It's not a social scene; these aren't BFFs.

My goal would be to not interact with this woman except to smile and appear pleasant if I run across her. I would take myself off her radar and out of her path.

You are not overreacting. She sounds pretty awful. However, unless you all created a united front and went together to HR as a group, I don't think it would make any changes, other than making work unpleasant for you.

If you ever find a nursing job where you don't have to deal with ******, snarky, petty, ridiculous bosses and coworkers, too much work, and abuse.....send me the address and I'll move there! I've been an RN for 18 years and only recently come to the realization that it's that way every place you go. I'm DON now and STILL dealing with it! Of course now it's State doing it to me, and forcing me to come down on my nursing staff in order to avoid penalties. If you find a way to deal with it, pass that info my way as well. Some people just let it roll off of their backs. I wish those people could give lessons on how to do that.

In my 30 years of nursing, I've learned one thing. Keep your head down, your eyes forward and your mouth closed. Never let people know how you really feel, and always smile. Once you start the HR ball rolling it can't be stopped, and enemies will be made along the way and you will be in the HR spotlight. It never goes well. HR are not your friend. Remember those few points and you will do well in nursing.

I wouldn't go to HR. The only reason I'd go to HR is for a clear-cut example of repeated harassment where I could document a violation of policy and if it was a significant patient safety issue or gross violation of professional conduct. I would do this after discussing it with the person face to face or their immediate supervisor and it went nowhere. I would also make sure I had an exit plan because if I had to go to HR I would anticipate some fall back on myself by doing it. Your workplace does sound punitive, like your manager is cultivating a tattletale work environment where people are written up for trivial issues, going behind peoples backs instead of telling someone you have a problem with them.

I would check my own nursing practice and make sure it was safe first so that there would be no concerns about myself, making sure I was doing things the way it should be done and I wouldn't write someone up for something that didn't affect patient safety or make a hostile work environment for myself and others. If it was a personal matter, I would force myself to discuss it with them prior to any reporting. That is really the best way to deal with things in my opinion. Set the example for professional conduct and maybe people will start catching on. I really think HR is the last resort for people in gross violations and where attempts were made to correct the problem by other means first.

HR is not your friend. They would only care if she was violating some sort of law relating to protected classes or sexual harassment because it would get the facility in trouble. Beyond that they don't give two hoots if she's annoying, playing favorites, acting like a mean girl or anything else they consider trivial. If the situation is unbearable keep your head down and look for another job.