Questionable Behavior: Reports and Write Ups

It's hard to advise you without knowing what the unit clerk said.

While I agree that most moments of perceived incivility should be addressed directly with the person you take issue with, there are some things that should be escalated right away and there are some comments that are best ignored.

If the comment was offensive because of tone or facial expression, it should be ignored unless you see a pattern or it is repeated. Then confront gently and privately.

If the comment was a direct threat or a racial, ethnic or sexual slur it should be escalated and you should not confront the perpetrator.

Other than that, confront gently. What did you mean when you said xyz? Is a good way to open.

I realllly wanna know what was said...

Without knowing what was actually said it's impossible to just assume that you were in the right, it's also possible that there was nothing inappropriate about what the UC said and that you just took it the wrong way. So if you asking if anyone who feels they received an inappropriate answer or comment from a coworker should assume the person making the comment should be fired then no, there is no basis for that assumption.

I'd follow the chain of command and first speak to her about your concerns before running straight to management to fix it for you.

If you were not in danger,nor any patient in danger then speak to this person first and that's it,end of story.

The problem solving you were mulling surprises me in its retaliatory tones,this is what we are taught in school but it is wrong ,if we are all going to work together.

Squabbles between Rns and ward clerks have a way of going very sour quickly and escalating to HR where both of you will be given a warning.This is just like family court,you will not get any real satisfaction,just grief and worries when you should be worrying about patients.

You have been given good advice on this forum I hope you follow it.

The last time I "reported" someone, (trying to get a policy changed, nothing against the person) I severely, severely regretted it. It backfired tremendously. No good came of it and looking back on it wasn't a safety issue or even a major issue. Now with experience I see it was not worth making waves about. If there is any chance you can directly deal with this person, do it. Just say "I notice you made [this statement] and to be honest with you, it made me uncomfortable."

So if you asking if anyone who feels they received an inappropriate answer or comment from a coworker should assume the person making the comment should be fired then no, there is no basis for that assumption.

Fired! No way. That's above and beyond. No need to go there.

I do appreciate the advice. After the first two commentators (and some sleep) I decided not to report anything at all. Partly because the opportunity to confront her was lost and secondly because I don't want to deal with the situations further. I do agree that confronting/discussing with the person directly is the best course of action.

I don't agree on comments stating people are "easily offended." Not all things can or should be "brushed off." I do believe people have a duty to act professional and shouldn't make comments that are insulting/rude to people and that can lead to hostile work environments. And I do believe the some things should be escalated, esp. if confronting the person can lead to further disagreement or a potential "fight." Not everyone is agreeable to being communicated with and they see it as a "challenge."

Anyway, thanks for the advice. Signing off.

Not all things can or should be "brushed off."

Not all, just many (and maybe most). And I don't brush them off - I've just decided they have nothing to do with me; they fall under the category of OPPs and I refuse to waste my time or invest my emotions in that.

I do believe people have a duty to act professional and shouldn't make comments that are insulting/rude to people and that can lead to hostile work environments.

Someone else's duty to act a certain way has nothing to do with me. It's their duty and they are responsible for it. I reject "200% accountability" and any management idea that I could ever be responsible for a peer over whom I have no control.

Hostile work environments are created through a lot of means. I've never seen it get a foothold in places where employees are treated well.

An insult from peers/coworkers is what you make of it. I've been so rarely insulted by co-workers I can't even remember a time. Maybe they mean to insult me from time to time, I wouldn't know.

Not all, just many (and maybe most). And I don't brush them off - I've just decided they have nothing to do with me; they fall under the category of OPPs and I refuse to waste my time or invest my emotions in that.

Agree to disagree. I think it is subjective and up to the situation. There are a lot of things that can be excused but not everything.

Talk to her manager without mentioning names to see what she thinks personally and professionally

Agree to disagree. I think it is subjective and up to the situation. There are a lot of things that can be excused but not everything.

Agreed.

I mentioned exceptions in my original reply.

It's not my intent to argue here but to put an alternate way of thinking out there because I have come to believe it is much healthier.

Right now you believe it's best to exist as if we have a professional duty to police our peers' day-to-day behavior. Nurses certainly are all educated, at least to some extent, to believe exactly as you do. My angle is simply that that was never an appropriate charge for us to take on any more than anyone else in society would do with their peers. My job is to take excellent care of patients and to help maintain a healthy atmosphere by the way I conduct myself. Others are responsible for the same. But I am not responsible for worrying about whether all my peers meet my idea of professional conduct by always making me feel happy - which is too often what all of this policing business boils down to. That would be an unwinnable situation since we can't control others, and others can't control our emotions. It becomes unhealthy very quickly. And it most certainly doesn't ultimately involve less angst/negativity than the little things people want to police.

This thing of us policing each others' behaviors has hurt the profession of nursing, IMHO. There is a huge amount of ongoing, constantly cycling negativity that plays out in real life based on the belief that this is one of our duties.

Egregious situations of patient safety/ethics would be reported immediately (as mentioned previously), and do not require a period of "stewing" in order to come to the conclusion that they should be reported.