Kaley1

I am weird, I am an introvert everywhere else, but as soon as i walk into a patient's room the introversion all goes out the window. Same goes with social vs professional communication with colleagues. Socially, I will be introverted with new colleagues for quite a while, but when there is a professional purpose behind it, the communication is there from day one. I guess I am a socially challenged but highly professional. I don't know why it is so hard for me outside of a professional situation. Wish I knew how to change that.

I was thinking the exact same thing. I posed a simple question, and instead of an answer or opinion, there is half a page worth of partisan nonsense disrupting everyone else's civil discussion. Wish there was a way to selectively tune out posts like that.

i suppose if you had kids, you paid for their birth in full? Didn't take maternity leave? Paid for their entire education? It was your desire to have a kid and it costs a lot more than birth control. If you don't have kids, disregard that, but take the message for what it is. Everyone makes decisions, what makes one person's decision to have a kid one that should be funded by everyone else, and someone else's decision not to have a kid one that shouldn't be funded? Birth control certainly costs less for everyone.

I completely agree. Many of the solutions are very simple too, but neither side has the courage or will to begin.

In a way, they already have more rights, our government works for them, not for the people.

The Supreme Court upheld the mandate last year, this was about exemptions based on religion. While i think hobby lobby should be able to cover what they want as you do, the religious exemption was dangerous and wrong. I don't agree with a bad court decision to remedy the situation because it opens the door to more nonsense and abuse. Hobby Lobby is not consistent with their religious objections. When it means higher profits, their objections to supporting abortion or those birth control methods are suddenly out the window. If you have religious objections honored by a court, you should not be able to pick and choose when you object and when you don't. You should have to prove like a conscientious objector that you truly mean what you say before it is even considered. There needs to be a standard that you are consistent with, otherwise, I don't buy your objections or offense.

I personally think that hobby lobby should be able to cover what they want based on the fact that this is America, and my belief that health insurance shouldn't be mandated through the employer. My biggest problem with the ACA is the way it utilized businesses to achieve the mandate. It was obvious that this was going to create endless problems and challenges. That said, I think allowing the exemption based on religious grounds was dangerous and stupid. What happens when the religious views become more extreme? How do you expect to respect only Christian based beliefs on abortion and not the beliefs of Jehovah's Witnesses, Muslims, etc.? Don't get me wrong, I know the court will find a way with people like Scalia and Thomas up there since the law and constitution always takes a back seat to their own specific religious ideology. Let's be real, this was a political stand by Hobby Lobby anyway, not one based on any kind of religious principle. They send hundreds of millions of dollars to a country that funds and encourages abortions and infanticide to control population growth. China is a communist country, so most of the money spent over there goes directly to the government that enforces those policies. How on earth can you reconcile that with your beliefs if a plan B pill disturbs you that much? I have also heard that they invest in the companies whose birth control devices they find so objectionable. Their religious principle ends where the cash flow begins, and that should not be specifically honored by any person or any court.

Ha, well if you want to come to Missouri, i can show you some rural areas where you will find people living off the system and not working just the same. I can also introduce you to my uncles who are farmers. They are conservative and like to complain about people on welfare, meanwhile their entire crop and most of their equipment are subsidized by the government. I can introduce you to my conservative friend who works for Boeing who laments government assistance..........unless it is a defense contract that is (necessary or not). I always found it amusing to listen to patients there who had chronic lifestyle illnesses talk about how everyone else is bankrupting the country. No self awareness whatsoever. Everyone takes whether they choose to acknowledge it or not. What is a handout anyway? To me, it sounds more and more like something that someone else gets but you don't. Is it a mortgage interest deduction? Free education for kids? Utility tax rebates for seniors? A tax credit for an electric vehicle? Farm subsidies? Etc. etc. if those aren't handouts, why not? I personally had 2013 tax credits/deductions that totaled more than a fulltime minimum wage worker makes in a year, how could I begrudge them the opportunity for health care?

You are right, our system is extremely flawed, but I would be blaming the government, politicians, hospitals and insurance companies before i would blame poor people for being allowed care. I would submit that more waste/fraud has been perpetrated by healthcare institutions than any poor people actually seeking care. I think the most telling problem lies in that you and many others didn't worry about the flaws until you were a victim of them yourself. When it was other people who were denied coverage or couldn't afford it, it was, and still is ok, but when it hits you personally, it is untenable. The system has been flawed for a lot of people for a long time. Consider yourself fortunate that it took this long to get to you.

Do you really think that basing your entire opinion on one experience is sound? How many people even have 10 kids? As far as paying for other people, everyone takes from the system. People always like to look at what other people take, but rarely examine or give up what they take themselves. Self awareness is not a strong point of our country.

No need to apologize, you have your views, other people have theirs. Your heightened defensiveness, and your recurring use of the terms liberal and progressive with a negative connotation made me feel like you really wanted to argue the point and were trying to get someone to bite. If I was wrong, I was wrong. As far as unions go, I think I would prefer to work in a union hospital for the sake of patient safety and my license. I saw far too many unsafe situations during my clinical rotations, and most of them could have been alleviated with proper staffing. Waste should always be controlled, but profit motivation should never be a reason to skimp on a patient's safety. Reading PMFB's post, what I heard was someone who just wanted to be allowed to do their job safely and without any other unnecessary issues like religion or politics interfering with things. My ideal political philosophy is libertarian btw, but I acknowledge that the system is rigged so I do not begrudge people on the lower end taking measures to try and correct the current imbalance for themselves.

No, not just on the surface, it is logical. Do you hate every patient because of one that was horrible? You are the one who is adding something that wasn't said, and that is solely on you and your blanket assumptions about people. Whether PMFB is liberal or not, you don't know them and they didn't say anything "liberal". You were looking for someone to pick an argument with plain and simple.

How is what PMFB said liberal in any way? They simply just said that they don't hate all unions because there happens to be some bad ones. Sounds logical to me.

That is so sweet, it made me tear up :) I don't know what I did or said to deserve that, but you just made my day! Thank you :)

If he treats all of the nurses this way, could you get some of them to come along with you on this? That way it wouldn't be a he said she said sort of deal, and they would know that the problem lies squarely with him. He may even take a second look at himself if he realizes that no one appreciates his demeanor. That is a huge hit to the ego that can make one self reflect and re-evaluate actions. Either way, there is always strength and perceived truth in numbers. Good luck! I hope you get it resolved because no one deserves to be treated that way at their place of work!

I would be very interested in your advice! And I have to say, from the authority with which you speak, I am now dying to hear your experiences with this! I will PM you. I am completely prepared for everything you said except for the hurtful comments with bad intentions part. I don't know how one prepares for that, and unfortunately, it is the part that obviously scares me the most. I am a realist, I know this will be discussed behind my back quite a bit, but what can you do? That happens to a lot of people for a lot of things. I cant stop it, so i will just have to accept it. If the person does not have ill intentions, I would be willing to endure any questions, honest mistakes or education processes. I am sure I would be curious too if it were not me. Another surprising thing that I am now coming to terms with is giving up the privilege I have enjoyed for most of my life. I am currently a healthy white educated male who is reasonably attractive. I know transgender people and women have a lot tougher lives in our society. I don't know what it is like to be treated like the "other"; I have heard many honest/unsuspecting opinions about transgender people from my colleagues, family and friends so I know that is what I will instantly become. If I do this, I will also suddenly become one of the most likely targets for violence in our society. I have never had to worry about my safety before. At worst, I know I will endure the potential hate/violence/discrimination of being transgender for the rest of my life, at best, if I am lucky enough to be passable, I will have to endure the potential violence/discrimination/condescencion that women face. There is not a whole lot of upside to this except for the possibility of finally finding inner peace.

I actually think it is quite standard. Some people gave a little, some people gave a lot. I got mine a gift card to a restaurant that she mentioned that she liked during my time with her. I also brought cupcakes for the floor. If you would like to work there, I would definitely do it, and write a nice note of appreciation.

I think the student's lack of initiative is troubling. Whether naps are allowed or not, being late for a preceptorship shift without a good reason just shows a disregard to you and the whole process. I was always at least 30 min early everyday just so I could get as much background info on my patients as possible. Ironically, my preceptor was 15 min late everyday. I know a couple of preceptors just sent students home if they showed up late, those students were never late again. The school has to be notified when you reschedule, so they will have to explain it to their precepting instructor.

Teethotamales, it really kills me that you are hurting so badly, and I wish that there was something that I could do to take your pain away. Your second post was such a flood of emotions it was really hard to understand so i will address what I did understand. I have never heard of a nursing program that kicked people out for failing a lab "test out" only once, so I would think that they should provide you with another explanation for your dismissal. Did they give you an official reason for dismissal? What is the written policy for lab test outs? In my area, every school that I know of gives the student three attempts to pass because they know that everyone has a bad day. As for your fellow students, I don't know what to say, the experience that you describe is one of my greatest fears going forward. You say that it was as if "there were two separate people for each one I spoke to." I fully expect that to be the case with a great deal of people when/if I transition. It is really hard to think that it would be otherwise. People don't understand it, and to be honest, I understand them not understanding it. Unless you live it or love someone who has lived it, it is hard to wrap your head around. That doesn't excuse hatefulness or bigotry though. I would just take what people give me, and use it to move forward. Even if they just give a tiny bit, use it. Maybe over time, they will give you more. I believe most will. I hope you seek out a counselor or support group so you can take care of yourself and find people that will take care of you. Such emotion cannot be sorted out on a message board.

Depends on what you are looking for, I think daytime gives a better overall learning experience because you get to see more action and procedures. There were less family members as well. Evenings provided a much better chance to be with patients and get used to the nurse patient/family relationship, but we had to fight to get IV, cath, etc. experience because there were fewer opportunities. If I had to do it all over, I would do a mixture of the two. It was a little embarrassing when I got to my preceptorship and was fumbling around wasting time with bed baths because we never had to give them in the evenings. If you like to just jump into things, I would start with days. If you are someone that likes to ease into things, I would start with evenings. I would definitely do both if you can though. The more experience the better.

Hi teethotamales! I actually have similar issues/concerns as you, but it sounds like we are at much different places in our journey. While I can relate to your situation and fears, I have not put myself out there yet, so I will not even pretend to know what you are actually going through. It is very scary for me to even think about and here you are living it! If you look down about 10 posts below yours, you will see my inquiry about the issue. Many are very open to and supportive of having a transgender nurse working alongside them as long as the nurse is competent, drama free and a good co-worker. Unfortunately, HR may be a different story. Getting a job as a new grad is tough enough without the issues that you are likely to face, and I hate to say it, but it just gives HR one more reason not to hire you. I personally have decided to push any thoughts of transition aside until I have a job and have established myself in a state or community with employment protections for gender identity. I truly believe that if I had tried to transition in the nursing school I attended, that my experience would have been very similar to yours. Many of my nursing school instructors were unabashedly biased and shockingly unprofessional at times throughout my schooling, but the problem with so many nursing schools is that the instructors hold all of the power and they know it. For those instructors, you just have to play the game until you are through. I think most of my fellow students would have shunned me to some extent, but I went to a very conservative school in the Midwest. Even there, I felt like I would have had the support of a few of the students, but I definitely would have had to reach out to them and ask for it. I am surprised that in California, there wouldn't be a couple students in your class that would have at least given you the dignity of helping you in lab. I wonder if maybe you might have written everyone off because of the outward negativity from those that let their disapproval be known. It would be understandable; I could see myself doing that. It is easier to withdraw and assume rejection rather than actually putting yourself out there and being rejected for real. Did you only get one opportunity to test out? That would be highly unusual and perhaps a solid point of argument for discrimination to bring to the school. That said, (BPs and brachial pulses) was the second lab we had to complete after bed baths and was pretty rudimentary; it only gets harder from there. If you failed it the customary three times, then I could see the instructor's concern with you moving forward. While I think it would make your professional dreams/outlook more readily attainable, I would never tell you to detransition even temporarily because I know all to well that at a certain point it often becomes a matter of life or death for someone who is transgender. Besides, you need to be you and do what is right for you! It sucks that we will be penalized for that, but it is the way things are currently. We have to accept that for what it is, work harder and try to look at our experiences objectively. There will be plenty of obstacles put in our way due to our gender identity issues, but we can't attribute everything that goes wrong to those issues or other people's reactions to those issues. It is so important to distinguish between the two and take responsibilty for the things that we need to improve, otherwise we won't get better and the problems will just persist. I believe that if you want something bad enough, and are willing to work for it, you can make it a reality. If being a nurse is your dream, I hope you try again, and give it everything you have! Openness and understanding of these issues are growing quickly and even in the short time it would take you to finish a program, the world will have become a much different place than it is today. Hopefully by the time you would graduate, I could tell you from my personal experience that it is possible and that I have achieved it. Either way, you have tremendous courage for being open about who you are, and I respect that so much. I only hope that I am able to summon the courage that you have when my time comes. *hugs* Kaley

I am just about to begin my nursing career, but if I were younger and had it all to do over, I would have become a plastic surgeon or a veterinarian.

You feel this way because it is unfortunately true. These two parties work for special interests, not the American people. Maybe a I am more jaded than I should be, but I feel that any Republican or Democrat who makes it to the national stage has so many obligations to the money sources that got them there, that we are just an afterthought. One only needs to look at medicare part D which inexplicably tied the country's hands in negotiating lower drug prices to know that they don't work for us. Who does that? Someone who is working for the pharamceutical companies and not the people who elected them, that is who. It is only going to get worse with the supreme court decisions on campaign contributions that have come down. My vote in the next election may be solely based on trying to avoid any more conservative "activist" judges being appointed to the Suprem Court.

Thank you so much for the links, input and your genuine concern Juan! I had not really considered that specifically, and it is such a good point to think about for anyone going through this. I guess I just assumed that "friendly" places would naturally have those services readily available. More than anything, i had just been looking at states or areas that had protections with regard to employment, but this is an equally, if not more important consideration to think about. CA is at the top of the list, but new grad jobs are so scarce there, I know I will be applying all over the country. Very exciting and scary at the same time! This will definitely be added to my list of selection criteria to help choose the areas where I should apply more vigorously. Once again thanks to you and everyone who has posted, not only has it helped me immensely, but I am sure that it will become a valuable source of encouragement and information for others in my situation who come to these boards! Y'all are awesome!