Orion81RN

10 years. Your point?

People get too caught up in wording. Yes, OP was treated poorly. Gaslighting stagnates growth, and you’re oversimplifying things with your statement. It’s entirely unhelpful. Yes, OP. You were mistreated. Now, as Davey was getting at, as I’m sure you know, our emotions are our responsibility. Your self esteem is going to determine your emotions to being mistreated. And yes, you were mistreated. So, you have to examine that and put up boundaries and be OK with the response you’re going to get. It takes a lot of work to be able to get to that point of mental health, of KNOWING you’re going to ruffle feathers, and be at peace with it. It’s unhelpful to state, “you just gotta have good mental health.” The work it takes, and the privilege of having support shouldn’t be understated or ignored.

Surviving Narcissism and DrRamani are both really good Youtube channels that are great educational sources for family roles and what you are experiencing. Your mom cares that you are not there bc to her, it makes her look bad. Her nieces are conforming to the family system by being there, so during those times, you are the bad guy for not conforming and making her look bad. You don’t exist to be your whole individual person which your own life, you exist to love her, make her feel important, and look good. You having your own life doesn’t fit in with her definition of what love is. She is hurt you have your own life and can’t handle that.

Until you have experienced narcissistic abuse, you will never know what people go through. This is a narcissistic family system and OP is at home by design from the mom. It is part of the abuse, and nobody should judge people in these situations. It is way more nuanced than, “grow up, move out.” If you can’t understand that, well, empathy is both a skill you use and something you’re born with. So, ?‍♀️.

Conditioned doesn’t equal innate. And WHO were we conditioned by? Almost as if the system was based on misogyny and we live in a patriarchy. Weird.

So take it a step further and ask why that would be. Is there something innate in men that make them more likely to ask for higher pay that women simply don’t have? No.

There is nothing wrong with me putting myself in the pt’s shoes and advocating for that pt. It is 100% ridiculous to prioritize your feelings over narcotics and addiction over what the pt is exhibiting. So who is taking this more personally? You with your doubts as to the pt’s pain based off YOUR experiences prevents the pt from receiving proper treatment. YOUR biased opinions. Pt was clinically presenting with severe pain and verified kidney stone, but oh no, your mind has to jump right to drug seeking. The nurse did nothing wrong in this situation, but the doctor was being ridiculous, and everyone jumping on the bandwagon of yeah, we gotta be careful with these drug seekers, even though this pt definitely has a kidney stone and v/s indicate pain.

Dilauded is, in fact, the ONLY thing that worked for my 10/10 kidney stone pain. Morphine is laughable. I think it's awful that your "radar" goes up bc a kidney stone pt KNOWS what works for them and what doesn't. Toradol was the miracle drug post surgery for me for the inflammation, no need for narcotics. Nice to know you're the nurse who doesn't advocate for your patients bc OMG what if they are addicted even though their pain still needs to be treated regardless. Awful.

Your ADHD doesn’t make you “not smart.” It’s a neurotype, not a learning disability. There are plenty of symptoms that make it challenging, but smarts isn’t one of them. Especially being diagnosed as an adult like me, you’ve not doubt gotten the message that you are not smart. But it’s because our brains just don’t work the way neurotypical’s do. Example: say you’re taking a history class (totally not based off real life or anything LOL) and the teacher is giving lecture while having you take his specific notes along with your own which you have to turn in for a grade. You try your best to get the notes written, but you can’t hear his lecture bc you’re focusing on the notes. You turn in the notes done to the best of your ability, and you receive poor grades on them bc you didn’t write your own notes (and bc you have dysgraphia often co occurring) because you couldn’t focus on the lecture. Then you don’t do as well on exams bc you can’t answer the questions that came from lecture. You get a D, you get in trouble from your parents, your teacher thinks you are lazy and “not applying yourself.” You know you are trying so hard. The message you receive is that you’re stupid. My sophomore year in high school, I tried implementing techniques from the video lecture Where There’s a Will, There’s an A. One of them was a recommendation to get permission to record your lectures. This was in about ‘96 in high school so it wasn’t common. I asked my history teacher if I could record lecture. Jerk said no. I failed the class. Had to repeat my Senior year, and what do you know, I easily got an A bc my teacher wasn’t an idiot. If I had had a diagnosis, I could have received accommodations such as my teacher printing out the notes for me. Instead I gave up after a few months. Depressed and checked out with further negative labels attached to me. Of course I thought I was stupid and lazy. Throughout college I dropped class after class, thinking that. If I had a diagnosis, I could have received help in evaluating why I was doing so poorly. Things such as not going to class bc it was too early. I would have known that would NOT work for my brain and scheduled a different time. The only reason I stuck with nursing school was bc I knew how much *** I’d get from my Dad. He rolled his eyes when my mom (a nurse) announced to the family that I was going to nursing school. So in proper ADHD form, I suffered through out of a trauma response LOL. It did take me an extra year, bc, well, undiagnosed ADHD. But I hyper focused like hell on anatomy and physiology, making concepts in the disease process easy to understand the first time hearing it when the rest of the class struggled more. If you made it through this, you deserve a medal.

4mg Xanax 13 years. Yes, using the Ashton Method personalized to my symptoms. Finally finally finally found a doctor willing to help. I can’t even begin to describe the harm “experts” do to benzo patients. There is zero reason a benzo taper shouldn’t be patient specific and loooong if needed. You do, however have everything to lose. Thank you for being an advocate for patients. You need to step up the knowledge though, watch the symposiums recorded in the last few years and listen to patients first and foremost. We are not lying about our withdrawal symptoms being this long and this debilitating.

1 month is not a slow taper. I’m in month 16 of tapering. Finally down to 6mg Valium a day, and the withdrawal still sucks. The depression and not being able to experience joy at all is awful. Benzo withdrawal is a horrid horrid experience and too often not one many of us feel we can live through.

Why should we put any more weight to your lived experience than anyone else here? Especially a woman’s? Woman: This is my reality Man: No, that’s not your reality because this is my experience, so mine is right. See how dumb that sounds? And oh, I don’t know…misogynistic.

We very well might. You have no idea and are attributing a trait to maturity when it could be something else.

I also learned a little about autism, and “it’s not fair” isn’t just a maturity thing.

Poor kid. So young to have such a rough condition. I’m 39 and have dealt with the pain since I was in my mid 20’s. Therapy for chronic pain is definitely needed. My experience was developing the pain, not understanding what it was, losing sleep bc of the pain, and then it spiraled out of control. I came home from work and laid down in bed. For years. Had to learn to live with an untreated chronic pain condition. My mental health declined further and further. I’m only now in physical therapy for it, and that’s because I specifically asked for it. Not one doctor recommended it to me. I just found it on Youtube. When I was first diagnosed with interstitial cystitis, not yet knowing it went beyond that to my whole pelvic floor, I was in so much pain at work one day. My boss told me to go home. I reached out to my urogynecologist and they were able to see me right then. I was in tears sitting in front of the doctor. He asked me, “What do you want me to do about it? Prescribe Vicodin?” In a very invalidating, just snarky tone. I didn’t have an idea of what I wanted from him because he was supposed to be the expert. He wrote me a script for Vicodin and sent me on my way. I later found a Dr who actually treated the condition. (Tried to, anyway. They didn’t know then near as much as what we do now) I requested my medical records from my old doctor and that doctor wrote on my chart “Wants Vicodin.” I have a condition that literally causes suicidal ideation and this doctor just completely brushed me off and tried to tell another doctor I was seeking pain meds. Infuriating.