tiak41

Hi All, I wrote a long time ago and told my story, I had diverted meds back in 2004 and was arrested in 2005, went to court in 2006 and was placed on probabtion and completed it successfully. I had already completed the BON program for 1 year in 2005 and thought my "mistake" was over and I could move on in my life...I ended up with a misdeamnor but I cant get a job and have been unemployed since 8/1/08. Ive been a nurse for almost 10 years and its all Ive ever wanted to do, not being able to work as a nurse is like losing a family member to death for me, Im lost,depressed, and I feel worthless because I know Im a good nurse.. Im a RN and have 5 kids on my own and my house is in foreclosure and I cant find a job doing anything...and I have to go in front of the board to talk about the probation thing...I had already renewed my license,,,so anyways...I feel like Im washed up as far as ever working as a nurse and my life is basically in ruins..all I have left is my kids..Im not asking for any legal advice, just wanted to know if anyone else had ever been in my shoes and had the sun come out at some point? thanks for listening...

Actually pollyanna, I did not self referral. I was interviewed because of a pyxis activity, I did not take a drug test on the spot, denied taking the meds and did take a drug test 2 days later but since I recieved a letter from the attorney generals office I decided that entering into the program was best for me and my career..if I knew then what i new now, I would have taken my chances and went to trial because I feel like I went through the expense and jumped through the hoops for nothing....Im glad Im sober but I cant tell you how much it hurts that I cant get a job because no one can trust me with a theft conviction on my record. nurses are not supposed to steal no matter the reason and now I have to deal with my decision....

I hate to tell you this but this happened to me, I diverted from work in May in 2004 and I was arrested in Nov 2005 after I had successfully completed a 1 yr recovery agreement with the nurse recovery, I thought that chapter of my life was behind me. unfortunately, I learned that criminal acts such as diverting have expiration time to charge you with a crime. The hardest thing for me is I lost my job this past august because they ran my background check and it showed a felony theft conviction even though it was knocked down to a misdeamnor, I have the disposition papers and I have no money to get an attorney and no job.....Im glad Im sober and drug free but I feel like I lost my career:( Good luck

hi, unfortunately, I was on the bad side of the problem, I completed the nurse recovery program which costs over 3,000, then got arrested during a traffic stop 1 1/2 yr later after completing the program and then was placed on probation for another year, and now I originally had a felony and now its knocked down to a misdeamnor of theft and I can't get a job anywhere so basically I went through the program to be sober, it sure didn't help me keep a job, all I am now is a useless registered nurse who is still paying the price of screwing up, I haven't worked since august and my house is in foreclosure , have 5 kids, single and I fight suicidal thoughts everyday just so I can be there for my kids, and to top it all off, I found out my mom is dying from breast cancer so here is my life now and I don't ever see it changing.. the funny thing is, I never used drugs or wanted to use drugs until I was a nurse and had back problems..I had back surgery in 2007 but my back still hurts.. and when we were talking about how nurses, drs stole medications, I remember thinking, I don't have to worry about doing that because I wasn't that way.. how ironic...

I'm curious, did you have a hard time getting a job once you had a criminal past in the nursing field?

hi, i also suffer from major depression, bipolar and my depression has gotten worse as Ive gotten older, i fight suicidal thoughts everyday and i hate to say it but since ive been a nurse, i think that has also contributed to my depression....glad to hear u are doing well as I am the opposite:) Im trying to stay strong for my 5 kids but Im not working trying to find a job and I can;t....i am alos getting ready to have my house foreclosed on and all i have are my kids,,,,

its true i was arrested a yr and a half later,,,,i hope it works out for u cause after all i went through to keep my license,ican't get a job with a misdeamnor of theft, it really sucks

Hi all, I just wanted to tell you all a few things about my situation and see what you thought. 1st of all, my memory short and long term has gotten ridiculosis, I can't remember things with my children in them or sometimes I get lost/confused and can't remember where Im going and had my L3l4 back surgery august 2007 and i just had my C3-C6 disks replaced in a cervical fusion last week, i have been having pain in both of my hips, back, knees, back upper and lower and i actually had the balls of my feet hurt so bad when I got up in the morning, you would have thought I ran a marathon when I was inactive. I also was dropping things with my right hand and had numbness/tingling from my right shoulder all the way to the tips of my fingers but since I had my fusion, my arm feels better and I dont have the numbness/tingling in my arm...but my dr said she is going to see about getting me a brain mri or refer me to see a specialist about having my pain maybe its the chronic fatique syndrome? I have 5 kids and am 37...i havent been working for almost 3 months because of how bad i feel...people just look at me like Im crazy... what do you all think? thank you for your time.

hi, i would also talk to your supervisor about your concerns but if they are willing to keep you on the same hall, i think that woould help you get a routine down, also before your report, go through the mars and write things down to keep you organized..blood sugars, gtubes,etc..let us know how everything works out

hi pair, after you got arrested, did u have to wait a certain amount of time before you were able to get a job with your background check? I was convicted for theft a misdeamnor in april 06 and now I can't get a job...

hi, I also had a bad 1st hospital job at a local hospital, I was a new LPN and the Rn's there did not hide there 'contempt" for having to "cover" for the LPN and thanks to that situation, I never returned to work in a hospital and hav'e worked agency or LTC since then, I have been a nurse for 8 years now, 3 as a LPN, 5 as a RN..and now I feel like I wasted my time to becoming a nurse, Ive seen the decline overall in nursing and services being provided and unfortunately I don't see it getting any better, I wasn't "comfortable" in my nursing skills, logical thinking until I had been a nurse for 2 years but I do enjoy showing love and compassion to my patients and trying to make a difference, that is what makes me "happy" and glad that Im a nurse..if your feeling upset at work, I would talk to 1 of your bosses and you might decide that place is not the right fit for you but you are sure to find your right job:) Good Luck

Congrats on becoming a nurse:) Remember how excited you are to be a nurse and remember to be the best nurse you can be:) God Bless

Just wanted to give u some support...I would suggest that u find another field you worked in before you became a nurse, even if it doesn't pay as well, at least being out of the nursing field for awhile will keep temptation down...unfortunatley we don't appreciate what we have or got in nursing until its gone....Im in a similair situation and am now looking for a job in a different career field, I never lost my license but I have a misdeamenor of theft on my record so I am not eligble to work until 5 years from date of conviction but we can get through all of this, just stay sober, take this time to reflect on your actions and how you can get you life back together, God Bless..

Hi Ms papa, I appreciate your story...I had back pain and was put on methodone twice a day 20 mg in the am, 20mg at night, I was also on loratab 7.5mg 2 tabs every 6 hours prn for over a year..I agree on the methodone, my back felt better, closer to "normal" in a long time and I didn't get high or a buzz, so I thought it was"safe" especially since my pain management dr put me on it knowing my history...when my daughter was 1 1/2 yrs old, i found out I was pregnant and as soon as I found out, I called my dr....they told me to stop all meds immediately or my baby could have problems, so i did and it was the worse thing in the world, for 3 days straight i couldn't sleep, sit, diarrhea, vomiting, shaking, restlessness, it was like how withdrawal is on tv, absolute hell...it took me quite awhile to straighten myself out but once I was clean, I swore no matter my future pain or surgeries, im never going back on methadone.......

hi sweet jelly, I live in indiana but if you can't access the website through here try california health professions bureau and see what happens.

Thank you for the suggestion of a Dr's office, the problem is I hardly see classifieds for them but I will keep trying:) I can use all the prayers anyone wants to send me:) At his point, I think making $12/hr is better than 2.13/hr and hoping I can get tips:) thanks again!

This website has all the DOH web sites and phone numbers, just click on the resources tab on the top of this page on the right and click on your state...good luck:)

Well, Im sorry to hear that but its better for you to get a position that works for you and I hate to say it, when you work in assisted living, they don't require cpr because if someone codes, your just supposed to call "911"..I think you don't get to use your nursing skills as much in that environment, just pass meds.... Im sure you will find a better match and its better to be safe and be able to manage your patients than be unsafe and risk your license. good luck

Hi all.. I wanted to tell everyone I wish when I was on the ISNAP program and working through all of this, I knew about this site because even though Ive been down with not being able to find a job, bills, stress, etc...I really appreciate all of the support, you guys are wonderful and I do believe we do go through difficult situations for a reason, who knows maybe in 5 or 10 years, Ill be glad of all of this hardship:) thanks again, God Bless!

hi, thanks for giving me that good advice, I know u aren't supposed to tie yourself to your job but being a RN is my passion, i really felt like I have helped a lot of people and even though they may never remember my name, they will remember the love and compassion that I showed them and that means a lot to me. Believe it or not, I still cry after 1 of my patients die especially when I am close to them, you'd think after almost 10 years, I would be "harder" now:) and like I said before I became a nurse on my own without a husband or family support and I wanted to prove I could make my life good and be an example to my kids that even though your life was bad, you can change it if you work hard enough...I think the hardest thing to do is forgive myself for my mistakes, sometimes that is harder to do than listen to judgemental people...

Thank you, I see that my story was read 16 times, and your the only one who commented on it...I realized its uncomfortable to read a story like mine but the reason I shared it with everyone was to hopefully help someone from making a very bad decision...I appreciate your feedback and support, God Bless:)

As everyone has already told you, you did not conduct yourself professionally, however, hopefully by now, you have spoken to your DON and explained what was going on and hopefully it worked out for you. I would never in a million years, tell a new nurse to start your career in long term care, hospital nurses think the ltc nurses are stupid and don't do anything when if your a good nurse in any environment, your always busy as well as offer your coworkers your help if your work is slow...that promotes teamwork and keeps the moral up in any nurse setting..I do know a lot of companies will make you a do not rehire if you don't put in your notice or leave on a bad note. You always want to leave a company on a good note, you never know when you might need to go through that door again:)

Hi everyone, I realize by posting my story, Im going to probably get some mean,uncaring feedback from people who like to judge and think he/she is above having an "addiction" but at the same time, if I can help 1 nurse or professional from having to live my story, it will be worth it.....Just a little background about me, I grew up seeing my mom cook and shoot up heroin and drinking alcohol excessively...my father died when I was 7 and I was placed in foster homes temporarily in california.I was returned to my mother after social services deemed her a 'mother" again....we moved to Indiana and her drug use and alcohol abuse continued...she became physically abusive and I was once again placed in foster homes, children homes, juvenile and a couple of mental health treatment centers, I was "emancipated" when I was 18 and pregnant....I never drank, did drugs during my teen years because I didn't want to be "like her"....I did smoke weed and drank wine coolers and tried acid once but in my early 20's a couple of times...so when I was attending nursing school, I didn't think the part of the class that talked about nurses and other professionals that became addicted to drugs applied to me because at that point in my life, I had hardly expiermented with drugs....fast forward to 2004...I had moved to another town, a couple of hours away from my hometown, with my 2 children....I didn't have any family or friends there and I became depressed..I was working through an agency and I started taking vicoden because of my back hurting. I didn't have health insurance or a dr to find out why my back was hurting but my ex was able to get me meds to help with the pain....we broke up and I didnt get the meds anymore...to make a long story short, I took some meds from work and got busted. I entered into the ISNAP program after being contacted by the Attorney General's office regarding a complaint against me..I completed my 1 year agrement successfully and I had another baby 2 months after I completed my program. My child was 4 weeks old when I was stopped by the police for a minor traffic infraction, what happened next was my worst nightmare..the officier said I had felony charges against me and that he would have to take me to jail, I was in complete shock, my 3 children were in the car with me and my 2 oldest children were crying yelling for the police not to take me to jail..I was crying and sick that my children the most important thing in my life had to watch their mom being taken to jail and my baby was only 4 weeks old and I was exclusively breastfeeding her.... my mom came to pick up my kids and car and off I went to jail...I was in jail for 5 of the longest days of my life and during the whole time, I thought about my actions that led me to jail...I didnt understand why I went to jail after I completed the program and moving on with my life but then found out that the state can charge you at any time, no matter how long ago it was...I ended up with 1 misdeamnor of theft since if I had a felony, I would never be able to work as a nurse again..and I got 1 yr probation too. I completed the probation and once again thought my mistake was finally "put' behind me.. I was working at a LTC in management and occ floor nurse but when I went on maternity leave in 2007, I was terminated because of my background check, even though I disclosed it on my application and I had been working there almost a year and also got a doller raise the month before I went on maternity leave so I started working full time at an agency that I have been with for 4 years.....everything was fine until one of the clients I worked at wanted my and some other peoples credentials, my agency pulled up a new background check and viola! Im terminated because of my background check, I was told it showed a felony and I contacted the court and got my disposition papers showing it was plea bargined to a misdeamnor....well, I have put out appllications and I have been unemployed for 2 months now. I am single and have 4 children that I have always supported by myself, with minimal child support and now that Im not working, Ive had to put my house up for sale since I haven't had the $$ to pay sept or oct house note,Im now having to have assistance with food and I feel like a complete and utter screwup...Ive been fighting suicidal thoughts because of my children and I pray every day for strength and a miracle...the good thing about all of this was I had gotten a mri in nov 2005, and found out I had spinal stenosis and 2 ruptured disk at the L4L5 and had back surgery in 2007 and now Im having surgery for a cervical fusion this week....I know what I did was wrong and there's no excuse but I know in my heart, I would have never taken meds if I wasn't hurting so bad.... I worked so hard to recover and keep my nursing license intact and have no further trouble, but here I am unemployed d/t my criminal background check.. I was told a minimum of 5-7 years has to go by before anyone will hire me so now Im looking to see about getting a waitress job or something that I can do. They say you should never put your self worth with your job, but I can't help it. I'm a nurse and a very caring, good nurse who tries and does her best for her patients...the funny thing is I thought I was alone with what Ive gone through, but at my job, I hired nurses and cna's and I met and actually hired nurses who were on the isnap program, I would say though that 3/4 of the nurses I hired ended up losing there jobs for relapsing.. maybe I shouldn't have given them a chance, but Im a firm believer God put me in that job for a reason and I remember the hopelessness and shame I expierenced from this ordeal. I feel everything I went through was for nothing but at least I have my kids and sobierty..yes, I never thought this would happen to me and the hardest thing I had to do was tell the people I respected my mom, best friend, my kids and have them look at me as if they didn't even know who I was anymore and in disappointment..hopefully by sharing my story, it will help someone, if you have any suggestions, good or bad, I'd like to hear them . God Bless.

Congratulations! I wish the best for you and your new job!

Hi, actually as a previous participant in ISNAP, I know the monitoring group would not allow a participant to work for an "agency" because you need to have a direct supervisor that is always monitoring you and your work, and alot of times, you are not allowed to work at home health or 3rd shift because your not being monitored, check with your program coordinator, its very hard finding a job with narc restrictions, but if you are truly sorry about your past mistake , they'll be able to tell and one thing I told to my DON was with the random drug test I get 5 out of 7 days, Im actually "more" safe than other floor nurses because usually they aren't getting drug tested, good luck and let us know how your search goes:)