77Mercy

I don't have anymore in me to deal with being spoken down to, lied to and yelled at. I'm sure this happens in any unit but does detox carry a bit more of this sort of thing? If you are going to be a nurse you have to toughen up a little bit. Stop feeling sorry for yourself because you aren't getting your needs met from the patient- nurse relationship. Remember- it's not about you. You are the nurse and they are the patient. They are not there to make you feel good about yourself. If they are rude to you and yelling at you- you need to learn how to deal with it in a professional way. You need to be respectful and professional with them and as you grow as a nurse and a person- you will find people will show you more respect. Sometimes when we are young and new, we just don't get the respect that we think we should. It's not fair but it's a fact of life. This could be a huge learning opportunity for you. Is there anyone on the unit that could be a mentor for you and help you learn how to grow as a nurse? I think all new nurses do go experience frustration and I don't think it matter if you work in a clinic or a prison or a detox center. It is frustrating having to deal with illness, disease, people, other nurses and patients. You are going to be going through some growing pains and you are going to be frustrated sometimes because people do yell and they do lie and it doesn't matter where you work. You have to learn how to cope with all of this and it isn't easy but it isn't rocket science either. It just takes time.

All I know is that when most nurses talk about substance abuse and addicts- it just brings out that judgmental, ***y nurse Ratched side of them and it makes me feel judgy and ***y to my fellow nurses- so I am not any better that any of you. I think what we need to understand is addicts are not any more manipulative than anyone else. When you get your car fixed and they tell you that it was a really tough job, they had to work on it all day and it is going to cost you $1200.00- they are lying to you. When your husband tells you that you don't look a day older than 25- he's lying to you. People lie to you all day. Your pastor lies to you. He takes your donation on Sunday and Monday night he is at the casino with the church secretary playing Black Jack with you money. It didn't go for Sunday school camp it went to the casino camp! He lies to you all the time and you believe him. In fact you are a huge liar. You lie to yourself and you lie to your husband. You told him that you have been eating salads everyday for lunch but that was just a lie because you have been going to that Pizza Buffet place 3 days a week and taco pizza is not a salad. You know that. You are a liar. Nurses are no better that addicts -and a lot of nurses are addicts. So please stop telling yourself how bad your patients are and how good you are. Stop saying how they are driving you crazy because they are trying to get Benadryl from you so they can get high. That is just stupid. You think that they are getting high off Benadryl. Really? They can take enough drugs to kill and elephant but you think they are getting high on Benadryl. Stupid. Why don't you just stop all this ***. Stop the lies. Treat others like you would want to be treated. Maybe if you did that you wouldn't be so miserable and hateful. Maybe the reason that you are having so many problems at work is because of you and the negative energy that you give off. You can't help anyone when you are looking down at them and being an asshole. No one wants your help . You can't even help yourself. You are miserable. You hate your job and you can't cope with anything so you have to put everyone else around you down. Stop it. If you cant handle detox than go work somewhere else but don't blame it on your patients. You are just as sick as them.

OK- I have to ask - where do you come from? And did you actually say that you intubate your patients if they become aggressive or physical? Are you sure it's the patients that are aggressive or is it the nurses who are aggressive and intubating their patients?

Well I guess you do, but as far as I am concerned this is still a free country and I am not going to do anything that makes me uncomfortable to keep a job that I really don't want to do anyway.

Did u have to notify the board and then they told you to set up drug testing or did they set that up for you? I am just trying to understand if you need to notify them that you are planning on requesting your license back before you start all that or how does that work exactly?

My god - is that in your work policy and procedure manual? Are you sure you are not getting some sick pleasure off that? I would be more concerned with your behavior than a person who uses drugs.

I have never heard of that and I know that if someone told me to spread my legs so they could see better as the one person said they did to her- I just couldn't do it. I had enough problems just trying to pee someday and this was unsupervised. I really feel for some of the crap some of you have been put through. That is really going to far if you ask me. I don't agree with drug testing- never have and never will. I do believe that supervisors should be there to see how people are performing and if they are doing their job they will know if people are impaired at work and that's when you deal with things - not just drug testing people and then to traumatize people by watching them and having them strip- that is just going way too far. Screw that.

You need to take care of yourself first. A job is a job. You have absolutely no reason to feel guilty. Coworkers come and go and everyone understands this. It may be a good idea to speak with a counselor or psychologist. I can give you some advice but only you can decide what is right for you. The mindset of you “chose to do It so don’t complain” was not what I was trying to communicate. What I was trying to say and what my coworker was presenting to me was”you don’t have to work as a nurse just because you went to nursing school. You are free to do what you choose. You are not trapped. You do not have to feel guilty for leaving. There is a whole big world out there and there are lots of different things you can do. When she said you can be a waitress or a maid it was not in any way a sarcastic statement. Some housekeepers and waitress make more than nurses around here and she used those jobs because I wouldn’t need any further training. Housekeepers can make up to 200 dollars a day and some waitresses make more money than nurses with their tips. In your situation it may not be about leaving nursing but you may want to think about a different nursing job such as working as an office nurse or telehealth or something. I am not sure but that is something you might was to explore. Whatever you do- make sure to take care of you!

OK... I make it a point to never argue with someone who knows everything. I like to keep things simple. I am not the kind of person who is impressed by fancy words. I was not raised to think that being a housekeeper or waitress was a demeaning job that no one wanted to do. Work is work and there is nothing wrong with being a maid. I did not intend for my comments to come off as sarcastic nor do I believe that my coworker was being sarcastic. JKL33- I understand that you feel the need to critique my comments and tell me what is helpful and what is not helpful but you need to understand that no one asked you to do this and just because you think you know everything doesn’t mean that you do. My advice may not be helpful to you but it may be helpful to someone else. So just back off.

Tv

JKL33- I don’t think you exactly understood the point I was trying to make- and that is OK. I never suggested that anyone should enjoy being treated poorly. My coworker did not treat me like I was not human or anyone else like they were not human and I never suggested that “not enjoying poor treatment was a moral failure”. I am confused on how you interpreted my post this way. I did not mean to imply anything like that.

?

I would have to politely disagree. I needed to hear that. It was a simple but very true statement. It reminded me that I had choices. I wasn’t stuck. I didn’t have to be there. I was completely miserable at that job and I needed to hear that at that time. It sounds like you misinterpreted what she said in a negative way and I don’t believe that was her intention.

When I was a young nurse I was complaining to my co worker how mean and nasty some of my patients were too me. I just didn’t like my job. My coworker reminded me that if I didn’t want to be here I could leave. I didn’t have to be a nurse. I could be a waitress, a dishwasher, a maid etc. Every job has positive and negatives. Not everyone is always nice. That’s the world we live in. We no longer have to accept physical abuse from our patients like we used to. Security can be called and patients can be removed if they are violent. At least from where I worked. She told me As far as rude or mean patients go. Their bad behavior is on them- not you. You need to be professional at all times. You are their advocate and you are their nurse. They may be having the most stressful time of their lives. You need to put yourself in their place and realize they are not feeling well. Withdrawing from drugs is not an experience that I ever wish to have. Nurses need to be tough. Remember who you are and that you can handle this. Don’t ever take anything too personal. Don’t ever lower yourself to being nasty back. Don’t be judgmental. Question your own thoughts and beliefs. Do you refer to your patients as “meth heads“. Is that really fair? Is that all you see? I drink Diet Coke but if people only saw me as a Diet Coke head, how would I feel? Would they all treat me different? Would I be angry at the people who treated me like I was “just a Diet Coke head?” I am starting to ramble here but just be aware that you need to be questioning your thoughts, ideas and actions also. It may be that you just can’t handle working where you are. You don’t have to stay but if you are going to stay- you need to think about how your own ideas and attitudes may be getting in your way.

Thank you for your comment. I believe that a good nurse should never be comfortable with using the work "Junkie". That term is degrading and insulting. It scares me that their are nurses who still believe that is an appropriate term.

My situation: Nurse who after 7 years of being sober relapsed and immediately went on a leave of absence in hopes of getting back on track. This nurse never once came to work impaired and worked a desk job as a PHN. One day into her LOA she was reported by her Nurse practioner who was also having an affair with her husband. Yes- her husband was having an affair with her NP. She was immediately contacted by the health professional service program and did not agree to all the conditions of the HPSP therefore she was reported to the board of nursing and after meeting with them her license was suspended for a year. She is now sober but has not went back to nursing as she does not want to participate in the monitoring program.

I am sorry I needed to delete this comment as I put it in the wrong area.

You need to see yourself the way that I see you. You worked as an oncology nurse and in disease management. You must have been very smart and very caring to work in such challenging fields. You then worked as a stay at home mom, that proves you are caring and have good priorities. You may have had some issues with substances but you faced them and have now been clean for many years. You have life experience. You have learned many things through your life experiences. You are most likely more empathetic and less judgmental of others due to your experiences. I have a feeling that you are a great mom. You have learned what is truly important in life. Everyone is this world has something that they are not proud of. Some people are addicted to food or money. Some people are people pleasers. Some people are greedy. Some people are hypocrites or are faking everything about themselves. None of us are perfect. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You have nothing to hide. You are just as worthy of a career as anyone else. You go for what ever you want to do and be proud of who you are! I think you are great! oh yeah (lol) remember to say NO to Drugs! (Lol) I am sorry but We all have to have some sense of humor.

Ok. I am not understanding your rationale for the different monitoring levels. Also why inpatient or outpatient treatments? Why aa or celebrate recovery? I would like to see some reliable, non biased research that proves that these treatment actually help people who use substances. Also I would like to see some science based research that proves that nurses who use substances are all a danger to society. What if the nurse works in a public health office and does paperwork all day? Is she really putting society at risk if she used drugs when she was on a leave of absence? What about the nurse who does research and gets a dwi- who is she putting at risk? Why does she need to go to inpatient treatment for 1000.00 dollars a day because a cd evaluator who spoke with her for one hour recommended it? Also should the nurse who was raped by a AA member be forced to go to an AA support group every month? These are all true scenarios that have happened and I could tell you more. I think your plan is as well thought out as the states’s plan and I ask you to Realize that your plan is built on a lot of assumptions that have no merit and are just the same old ideas as always. The state does not own nurses. Nurses who use substances are not necessarily a danger to anyone but for some reason this idea that they are continues to flourish with no proof and people continue to be as ignorant as they have always been. Think outside the box and give me some good science based rationale for your ideas, then I will take you seriously.

I think a paralegal job would be very nice. In fact I think I would probably enjoy that more than nursing. Paralegals make good money and I am sure that it can be a very interesting job. If you work while going to school and apply with fafsa you may not need a lot of student loans. Also if you are part of the SEIU union you can take paralegal classes for free. I am a PCA and member of the union and I know that paralegal is one of the online courses available for the free college program.

Cosmetic surgery

I was in the HPSP in Minnesota and my case manager told me not to mention that I was on the program until after I was hired. So- that’s what I did. Maybe ask your case manager what she suggests?? I do understand every situation is different so what I did may not be appropriate for you. I can imagine there are pros and cons to each situation.

I was in the program for 5 years- it was suppose to be 4 but I missed a test twice on mistake and time got added because of that. The program is expensive, frustrating and stressful and you do need someone to vent to, otherwise you will never get through it. I just tried to remember it was just something that had to be done and I stopped questioning the validity on how it was helping me to recover, because it was causing me more stress than anything. Just remember time goes fast and this is only a blink of an eye in your life.