Praying with your patient

I have prayed with patients on numerous occasions...but I live in the deep south, which from what I understand we do things a little different. I have known many nurses to do the same. If you share the same values and beliefs I see no problem with it.

i think it's a great idea! as long as it doesn't offend the patient. the last thing God wants us to do is go around shoving our relationship with Him down someone else's throat against their will.

I have prayed with patients and families many times, at their request. If you feel comfortable with that, then by all means do it. If it is not something you feel you can do, then tell them that you are not comfortable with that request but you would be happy to get the chaplain, and then get one pronto.

My husband was recently in the ER where I work, and was diagnosed with metastic cancer, a shock and big blow to both of us. Several staff members asked if they could pray with us, and it was welcomed. Others just came by with a hug and offers of support and love. All of the kind gestures were appreciated.

Don't be afraid to let your guard down in certain situations. You don't have to be "professional" all the time, let the situation and your personal abilities be your guide. Most of all, don't judge, just support, as you don't really know what that person and family are dealing with.

I am not sure about this one. I don't follow a traditional faith, but am very open minded to learning about all of the religions and philosphies of the earth. I have no issues praying with a patient, however, I see prayer as a merging of energy, and it may be that the person does not wish to pray with me. When asked, I will say a 'neutral' prayer that calls upon a Creator of Love and Light with positive, healing energy to surround this person. I will embrace them, comfort them and support them, but they have to indicate that they wish for me to do so.

It all comes down to pt. needs.

Would *I* ask to pray with a patient? No. That said . . . I always close my eyes and say a brief prayer for a pt to have a safe, comfortable journey home when we take them off the vent and make them a DNR/ DNI/ comfort care only.

If a patient's family requested me to pray with them, I would. If they wanted a chaplain, I'd get one. If they're a large family who wanted everyone in the room, I'd do it. I've smuggled in kids under our visiting age in the past (my greatest regret as a human being is that I was not able to say goodbye to my grandpa because I was 9 vs. 10 y.o.). I've talked with 8-12 year olds about what they're seeing and made them feel comfortable to ask questions and touch/ hug their dying family member. I've asked families if they wanted a chaplain and been told "no". I've respected that wish. I've had families not ask for a chaplain, but ask for me to give them a hug when their loved one has passed. I've hugged people until I thought my own heart would break. I comply with all requests.

It's my job. My own personal beliefs-- save for the need to first do no harm and then best meet the needs of my patient and their family-- have no issue with it. If you were a deep south christian, as were the original post, would you deny the request to pray with a lesbian partner who was at the bedside of her partner of 20+ years (knowing that some gay/ lesbian commitments are of a greater level that those of heterosexuals)? If a Muslim patient was dying, and you were a Christian, would you not tell them as they were breathing their last breath to go to Allah if it gave them peace? If your patient was a Jehovah's Witness, refusing blood, and trusting God, would you not support the patient's rights???

Woe be the person who refuses to meet the spiritual needs of my husband while he's dying. Don't judge a need . . . as a nurse, you MEET it while best treating the physical issue. That's all you can do. Go home and live your life. Pray for those who have differences from your viewpoint. The nurse who is a proselytizer or who views their ethics as the end-all, be-all needs to get out of the job.

I have prayed with many patients & their families, but only at their request. I would feel uncomfortable initiating - would not want to impose upon them. I, too, am from the Deep South, but now live in a large city where we are exposed to many different cultures and religions.

Our unit has a great tradition of respecting various traditions & cultures. We have had an Indian shaman (medicine man) come in for one family. We followed the wishes of a family from China whose family there consulted a healer. Without any of our "modern" equipment & diagnostics, this man gave very accurate descriptions of the child's condition (no way he could have known all he told the family). He gave a list to the family of things to do. We did them and respected them. We've had Muslim families and have put their religious symbols in the places they've asked. Our "favorite" chaplain is a cantor. Amazingly, some families with deeply rooted Christian beliefs ask for him, especially to come for chants for healing, comfort, etc. One family requested he be present for cessation of life-sustaining support.

Pagandeva2000's post was excellent!

Cindy, RN

I would not ask a patinet if they wanted me to pray with them. I will however stay with the patient or family if they would like to say a prayer but they take the lead.

I am not a religious person by any means. If I find I am unable to give the spiritual support the patient or family needs, then I have no problem getting the Chaplain. We have wonderful Chaplains that are around 24 hours a day. They even round in the unit at 8pm and 2am on midnights.

I have prayed with many patients & their families, but only at their request. I would feel uncomfortable initiating - would not want to impose upon them. I, too, am from the Deep South, but now live in a large city where we are exposed to many different cultures and religions.

Our unit has a great tradition of respecting various traditions & cultures. We have had an Indian shaman (medicine man) come in for one family. We followed the wishes of a family from China whose family there consulted a healer. Without any of our "modern" equipment & diagnostics, this man gave very accurate descriptions of the child's condition (no way he could have known all he told the family). He gave a list to the family of things to do. We did them and respected them. We've had Muslim families and have put their religious symbols in the places they've asked. Our "favorite" chaplain is a cantor. Amazingly, some families with deeply rooted Christian beliefs ask for him, especially to come for chants for healing, comfort, etc. One family requested he be present for cessation of life-sustaining support.

Pagandeva2000's post was excellent!

Cindy, RN

I would LOVE to take part in some of the things you have mentioned!! Memories like that would follow me for a lifetime!

I have prayed with patients on numerous occasions...but I live in the deep south, which from what I understand we do things a little different.

Yes, we do things differently, and we're proud of it, aren't we?

Let's start a new forum, the Deep South Forum. But we'll have to get a sweet tea Smilie first.

Back to the issue at hand: I would pray for/with a patient if requested. I have prayed silently for patients when it wasn't brought up ....

I'd be happy to pray with a patient and/or their family if they would like me to--regardless of their beliefs. I wouldn't ask, though, unless I knew the family well enough to know this is something that would be appreciated.

There have been several times where I have prayed for patients and families inside my heart. Whether prayer is something they believe in or not, I do and I think it helps; it also helps me to have a clear mind to be a better nurse. I'd never want to offend or to push my religion on patients, so in those cases, I do keep it to myself.

I too have prayed with families when asked to participate. It's a real listening experience to me.

And as other OP's have mentioned, There is constant prayer throughout my day for patients, families, co-workers, my family, you get it. It's a non-issue with me.

I pray for my patients every night on the way to work. I figure God knows what my patient assignment will be even if I have to wait around 15 minutes after I get there for the day charge to figure it out. Plus I figure His attention span is broad enough not to lose track of things I'm not sharp enough to see when even when they're right in front of me, so I don't find a need to micromanage Him all night especially since I'd probably get it all wrong.

Now that takes care of the prayer component of prayer, specifically my rational communion with God regarding mundane affairs. The other component of prayer is communication with the patient and possibly family and takes into account being religiously and emotionally and politically correct (during prayer no one worries about being sued by God, the worrisome parties are relatives).

This requires great artistry and lies outside my expertise, not to mention my scope of practice. Now if we had no 24-hour chaplain on call it might be in my scope of practice by default, but since we have an expert available, it would be negligent for me not to make use of a superior available service. So I leave these delicate social maneuverings to the hospital chaplain.

I really don't feel any need to pray with the patient (although I greatly encourage a patient's personal spiritual exploration), because I already prayed for that patient, and like I say, I have faith that God heard me right the first time.