Orders from hell...

I'm sorry, but what is a "tappered" dose?

It's a misspelling of "tapered." But I think you probably knew that?

It's a misspelling of "tapered." But I think you probably knew that?

I am willing to bet she did as well. Especially given the context in which the word was used. Why it was necessary to quote it and point out the spelling error, I am not sure. I can't imagine how time consuming it would be to do that to everyone that made a spelling error on these forums.

Ativan 0.5-2mg IV or PO PRN nausea, vomiting, pain, anxiety, insomnia, patient request, RN discretion, or any other complaint

Pharmacy didn't verify that order for some reason

i want to work with this doctor lol. Happy patients = happy nurse

A pharmacist told me story about a guy who bought in a Rx that read:

"5 lbs of MOFIENE".

The pharmacist said, "Get out!".

I'm surprised he didn't call the Po-Po … but then again, I heard this story nearly 23 years ago.

A pharmacist told me story about a guy who bought in a Rx that read:

"5 lbs of MOFIENE".

Well, you see, dat pethquipthion was verbal fwum a doctah who didn't have no teefus.

"phos was # this am."

"Ok. Go ahead and milk him."

"Like a cow?"

Confused voice, "Oh. No. I mean give him some milk and recheck tomorrow."

"So, not like a cow?"

"No. Not like a cow."

"Alright. Just wanted to make sure."

Real conversation this week.

Another physician who wrote an order for BP checks qd x5d, and record results. For whatever reason, he seemed to believe that we would take the BP but not record it unless he specifically ordered it.

LOL. Actually, I can relate to this one. Many of the LTCs I've been based at I've actually had to write:

Vital signs (whatever timeframe): Oxygen saturation, blood pressure, temp, pulse, respirations. Record in the monitoring sections/vitals section of the EMR.

One of my favorites when I was a hospitalist NP:

I'm sitting on a tele unit at end of the night shift finishing some documentation. Nurse doesn't realize I'm sitting there. Calls on-call hospitalist to report a death. Hospitalist orders: "EKG to make sure he's dead". Um....I could see on the tele monitor that the man was dead. I went in with the nurse and pronounced the patient after listening for a heart beat for one full minute and monitoring for respirations for that same full minute (by the way the patient was a DNR/DNI), called the on-call hospitalist who still insisted on an EKG. We ran it. Definitely asystole. I took it down to him and made him sign it off as "dead". Then we could release the body.

Can't believe I haven't thought of mention this 'til now. Several of us have talked about a ridiculously-explicit and insulting order from a wound care clinic. It says, among other things, to wash hands, use sterile gauze (when cleaning the wound) instead of cotton balls or unsterile gauze, and to not use pressure when cleaning the wound. Really? I would have had no idea about any of that, right? I feel like asking them if I can use one of those old faded-red mechanic's rags when I'm cleaning the resident's wound.

Can't believe I haven't thought of mention this 'til now. Several of us have talked about a ridiculously-explicit and insulting order from a wound care clinic. It says, among other things, to wash hands, use sterile gauze (when cleaning the wound) instead of cotton balls or unsterile gauze, and to not use pressure when cleaning the wound. Really? I would have had no idea about any of that, right? I feel like asking them if I can use one of those old faded-red mechanic's rags when I'm cleaning the resident's wound.

Perhaps you should have called the provider to ask, "So, just to clarify … you don't want me to use spit, or toilet water to clean this wound, right?".

Well, you see, dat pethquipthion was verbal fwum a doctah who didn't have no teefus.

Apparently no teeth, no brains, and no sense of how close to losing his freedom in trade for an orange jumpsuit and communal showers he came.

Bahahaha! I guess the words are technically correct, a foley is a tube. Still funny though.

Impossible orders are funny, but I think my least favorite orders that I have received were

an enema on a bed bound patient

manual disimpaction

nit picking/combing a patient with headlice (Who even has time for that on a med-surg floor?! )

I realize that they were all very necessary at the time. Still don't like them though.

You forgot lactulose enemas for those pesky high serum K+ patients.