Odd interactions

Patient exclaimed that she was hungry, starts shoveling in food. Tell her I'll come back to let her finish. Return and she's like, "Oh, I think I was just hungry. I'm good now."

And there you have the definition of hanrgy. Hungry + angry = hanrgy.

I worked in Oncology. I had a drug addict patient with a precarious PICC line leave the unit and go outside with chemo running. When I called security, they had the nerve to scold me for "letting" him get away with expensive hospital iv pumps! He was found having a smoke with some questionable people.

I had a patient who had terrible tunneling abscesses to his perirectal area requiring BID dressing changes. He was in his 50's and had a family and all that but was just off, had a very childlike and dependent air (though previously being able to do all his ADL's prior to this hospitalization).

Anyway, morning dressing change comes around and I have two others in the room helping me because he's too unstable (and obese) to be rolled to do it, we have to use the lift for each leg.

Well, he was a lot more talkative and actually pleasant at this time and the three of us were almost enjoying his company for a bit, and I think he got really into being the center of attention.

FMS had been leaking and we had to do a whole bed change. Well he starts going on about "aw, mama, I'm like a big baby, you gotta wipe me down! I done pooped ma pants! You gotta wipe me all up now!" On and on...and on. >.

Cannot handle a grown man getting his butt wiped, acting like a baby, and enjoying it.

I had a patient who, unfortunately, coded and did not survive. When the family came to claim her belongings, they were upset that we had discarded her used toothbrush. We honestly didn't think the family would want this item. To this day, I wonder why they wanted it. Did they share these personal items among themselves or was it some kind of souvenir or treasure? I find it strange to this day.

I was working nights one particular night in a nursing home and this little old man was awake at 3 AM and I asked him why he was not asleep.

His answer was so surprising:

"I am waiting for the lady down the hall that gets up naked every night and runs down the hall!"

I guess after I walked out and was laughing so hard, I had to check out this woman.

She was about 85 years old, confused and very spry, very wrinkled and would climb out the end of her bed naked and would run down the hall in all her glory.. that was her.

Guess the 'fire was still in the furnace' for the little old man!!!!

I just thought of another one, but this one would fall more under the "ick" factor than odd I suppose. I had an 80-something year old retired Monsignor who insisted that we "put my cream on my balls." (Direct quote). He would then flip open his gown, hold up his member and spread his legs for us to oblige him. No, no and NOPE. I would slap the cream in his hand "There ya go!" and leave the room. I always felt the need for an immediate shower after those interactions. Glad I left that unit shortly after his arrival. Just. ICK.

One night I was working on a medical floor and the son of a patient came to me while I was at the med cart and asked me for a vicodin for his headache. I told him I couldn't even give him a tylenol, and if his headache was that bad he needed to go to the ER. He then stated that his mom had vicodin ordered and asked if he could have one of hers. I told him that I couldn't just give out medications as I pleased and he needed to go to the ER if his head hurt that bad.

Just the other day one of my co-workers walked in on a pt. and his wife having relations. The man had a wound vac on his foot and their 8 and 3 year old children were in the room. A bit later he called to say his wound vac was leaking. Surprise, surprise.

A lfew decades ago we had a very odd, perverted patient. He would pleasure himself under the covers and then ring the call bell just at he was about to finish the deed. He would hold it until the unfortunate person came to answer the call bell and then he would whip the sheets back and let it spew. That only happened once before we were on to him and he never got away with it again. He wasn't demented, just crazy like a fox.

I had a patient like that too. I was trying to maximize her independence. One of the other nurses did all this personal care for her and then the patient expected it. The nurse needed to be needed and to have patients totally dependent on her.

Just the other day one of my co-workers walked in on a pt. and his wife having relations. The man had a wound vac on his foot and their 8 and 3 year old children were in the room. A bit later he called to say his wound vac was leaking. Surprise, surprise.

I'd have been calling Child Protective Services....... Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?????

I have had many drug-seeking visitors who can't understand why they can't have their relative's meds. I tell them to go to the drugstore and buy themselves some Tylenol.

I guess I'll always remember the psych pt I took care of who liked wearing a little pink pig costume to throw off the CIA and FBI. She kept asking if we could see her because she was being a title pink pig. We'd ambulate her around the unit and she was so happy and glad to see everyone. A very happy little pig she was.