Nursing Niceness

Published

This website has allowed me to post freely about questions concerning my personal journey to nursing school. Before I ever became a nursing student, I was a human being. While I have realized that while using this site is beneficial in the sense of communication, I have also experienced that it opens the door for scrutiny of your personal life. It was a true eye opener for me, because I find myself guilty of judging other people as well. I accept that sometimes we are right in our judgment, but sometimes we are also wrong. I reached out to several people about my attempt to go to nursing school with a misdemeanor assault from over seven years ago that resulted after an argument where I waved my finger in someone's face. Yes, it happened.. YES I admitted my guilt because I DID wave my finger very closely to his face, and I also realize now that it was wrong. Instead of response to my question.. I was given advice on what I should have done seven years ago. Well unfortunately, there is no time machine that would allow such a thing, so I do not understand how that would help. Anyway, I spoke with a very kind director that went the extra mile to find that I would be clear for my minimal misdemeanor :up:, and also received a callback from the BON who also said I would be fine in my circumstance. I face much adversity being I am an over 6ft tall male that has ASSAULT (even though its simple assault) everyone sees ASSAULT on my record and often insinuate that I must have pummeled someone. My point of this is everyone knows what it feels like to be judged.. especially off of your past, but simple assault does not define me.. it defines my criminal history. My history also includes military service and a college education. I am not an animal. Can anyone relate?

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Private Duty Pediatrics.

I have sometimes had people here give me more advice than I needed. With Allnurses, as with people that you meet face to face, take what is good from the advise that you hear, and let the rest slip through your fingers.

Some would equate that with having thick skin, but that's not really what I mean. It's more like Teflon skin; let it slide right off. I just ignore the advice that I find wrong, and I ignore the judgments that I hear. What counts is how I see myself; I can't control how others see me.

Here on Allnurses, you'll find plenty of advice, some of which is totally unasked for. Except, if you put it out here, people will reply to that which they find interesting. Just take that which is good.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
I have sometimes had people here give me more advice than I needed. With Allnurses, as with people that you meet face to face, take what is good from the advise that you hear, and let the rest slip through your fingers.

Some would equate that with having thick skin, but that's not really what I mean. It's more like Teflon skin; let it slide right off. I just ignore the advice that I find wrong, and I ignore the judgments that I hear. What counts is how I see myself; I can't control how others see me.

Here on Allnurses, you'll find plenty of advice, some of which is totally unasked for. Except, if you put it out here, people will reply to that which they find interesting. Just take that which is good.

Thanks for the advice :). Fortunately, I actually understand the judgments. It is easier to assume than it is to give someone the benefit of the doubt. I am just so happy that I am no longer the 19 year old who allows trivial circumstances enrage me.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

This isn't exclusive to nurses, allnurses or forums. It's all over the internet. When you put part of your life out there, people are going to comment on it - and you can't control what sort of comments they make. You can only control your reaction to them. Trust me, I just had a photo of mine dug up and mocked endlessly on another site.

It happens. People can be jerks. It's unfortunate, but it's our reality.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
This isn't exclusive to nurses, allnurses or forums. It's all over the internet. When you put part of your life out there, people are going to comment on it - and you can't control what sort of comments they make. You can only control your reaction to them. Trust me, I just had a photo of mine dug up and mocked endlessly on another site.

It happens. People can be jerks. It's unfortunate, but it's our reality.

Amen to that :) I guess I just expected more. Excuse me as I put on my teflon skin from here on out because despite what people said there was someone who was willing to support, someone to listen, and most importantly someone to give me the chance rather than the hand :nono:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Med/Surg, Ortho, ASC.

"Nursing Niceness" is your title. I'm trying to figure out what your post is intended to convey/question.

I'm glad that a "director" (?) and the BON have eased your mind about leaving the past behind. If you have been bothered by responses to your post outlining your past, perhaps the wisest course would have been to simply contact the BON and not post a thread on a public forum. Often folks post questions or situations on the Internet and somehow believe that they can control the responses. Of course you can't. Are all nurses only "nice" all the time? Of course not. Will some really "nice" nurses disagree with you or give answers that don't sit well with you? Of course they will.

Does the Internet know that you are a well-rounded individual with a military & college background? Of course not - we only know what was told in the thread. And even then, folks are free to invent & embellish all they want on anonymous Internet forums. For all we know, you are really an 8th grade drop-out with a criminal past.

My point is: post your issues & questions on the Internet all you want. Just don't expect to have any control over the answers or to hear only what you want to hear.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Med/Surg, Ortho, ASC.
Amen to that :) I guess I just expected more. Excuse me as I put on my teflon skin from here on out because despite what people said there was someone who was willing to support, someone to listen, and most importantly someone to give me the chance rather than the hand :nono:

Who here could have given you the "chance" that the BON gave you?

Up Vote Up Vote ×

The internet isn't a support group. People posting, even when the common ground is nurses/nursing, are widely diverse, with widely diverse life experiences, values, and beliefs. People reply to various posts for a wide variety of reasons. Some people will be supportive of the original poster; others will disagree with the OP; and so forth. I think it's a good idea to not post about sensitive subjects unless one is really prepared for a wide variety of responses, and I think it's sensible not to start threads unless one is prepared to receive all kinds of responses. Individual posters frequently get upset because they didn't receive the type of replies they wanted, or when the thread took turns that they didn't like. I think the answer is to exercise caution when one posts, and to be prepared for widely diverse responses which include strong disagreement and opposition.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

You are right.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Who here could have given you the "helping hand" that the BON gave you?

Thanks for your comment. Thanks for the enlightenment

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ER.

The internet is not like face to face. People don't have to look you in the eye when they spout off opinions. The real life social repercussions don't exist.therefore, sometimes people don't self-censor as well.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Okay, I went back and re-read your other thread. You related how a policeman showed up at your door after receiving a complaint and he told you that you would "have to go to trial." That's just not how it usually works. Policeman usually do not have the role of declaring than an individual must go to trial; policemen don't usually have the authority to present plea deals. So right off the bat, you, a new member with no posting history people can relate back to in order to get a sense of your online presentation, have posted something that sounds a little unlikely.

Then you went on to state that you "forgot" to show up for your assault trial. Again, that sounds almost beyond belief. Can you really not see how that would sound to people who cannot possibly know you and know if you are actually on the level?Come on, this is the internet!

You need to realize that AN gets a LOT of new posters who come here and tell some really tall tales. They are called "internet trolls," and they will often make controversial posts or post things that sound wildly unbelievable. When other members post predictable skepticism of the facts provided, the new poster types more inflammatory comments, then sits back and enjoys the ensuing controversy.

Your post had some of the characteristics of one of these new member troll posts. I, personally, responded with amazement that you could "forget" to show up for your own assault trial. I still find that to be pretty darned amazing.

But I went on to try to be helpful and suggested you consult an attorney to see about getting it expunged, and directed you to the nurses with criminal history forum here on AN, where you could get advice from others who have been there. I didn't see anything wildly insulting, and given the amount of trolls who show up on this site, I thought most of the people who responded were pretty laid back.

I agree that you will need to develop a thicker skin if the responses on that thread were all that upsetting. People are very direct here. They are going to state their opinion, and as long as they have not violated the TOS, they have a right to do that. Posts which DO violate the TOS are removed. If they aren't, you need to respect that, even if the responses given were not necessarily what you wanted to hear.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment