Missing Elderly Couple

Jo Dirt · Dec 6, 2008

Old age is sad.

Mulan · Dec 6, 2008

I saw on the news where a local couple in their 80's disappeared. They were found 2 days later one state away alive. They went out to eat and got lost. They both have 'short-term memory loss and dementia'. Why on earth would their children let them go out alone???? I'm happy this story had a positive outcome, but sad that it even came to this.

Do they live with their children?

SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN · Dec 6, 2008

We had a couple who came in together. Were driving to town and ended up in Canada. Overshot their exit by, oh, severl hundred miles. The RCMP sent them back after they filled up the car and took off without paying.

The kids couldn't have done anything. It isn't that easy to get POA and someone basically committed.

michael79 · Dec 6, 2008

They live alone, but the children were well aware of their dementia. In GA, it is fairly easy to get a POA with a documented dx of dementia.

KyPinkRN · Dec 6, 2008

I saw on the news where a local couple in their 80's disappeared. They were found 2 days later one state away alive. They went out to eat and got lost. They both have 'short-term memory loss and dementia'. Why on earth would their children let them go out alone???? I'm happy this story had a positive outcome, but sad that it even came to this.

This same thing happened to two women who left an assisted living facilty in OH for a day of shopping and never returned. Hunters found their bodies still in their parked car about six or eight months later. Very sad story. Sometimes children underestimate the safety issues when one has dementia, or they don't want to face that their parents are never going to be the same again. More public education is needed on this topic.

CapeCodMermaid, RN · Dec 6, 2008

I think the laws vary from state to state but in Massachusetts being someone's POA would not allow you to have them committed.

michael79 · Dec 6, 2008

This same thing happened to two women who left an assisted living facilty in OH for a day of shopping and never returned. Hunters found their bodies still in their parked car about six or eight months later. Very sad story. Sometimes children underestimate the safety issues when one has dementia, or they don't want to face that their parents are never going to be the same again. More public education is needed on this topic.

Had they gotten lost? What happened to them?

achot chavi · Dec 7, 2008

I saw on the news where a local couple in their 80's disappeared. They were found 2 days later one state away alive. They went out to eat and got lost. They both have 'short-term memory loss and dementia'. Why on earth would their children let them go out alone???? I'm happy this story had a positive outcome, but sad that it even came to this.

who says they asked their children? not everyone has children who care- we say a mom can raise 10 kids but 10 kids cant raise a mom...

The neighbors should have raised a red flag and gotten a SW involved but it is usually masked until something like this happens\

Strange that BOTH of them were in the same situation- I wonder whats the chances of that?

BTW this happens more frequently than you'd think

CapeCodMermaid, RN · Dec 7, 2008

Not all parents were good parents. Maybe their kids are estranged from them. And the neighbors? Not many places these days where the neighbors would get involved. I've known many many elderly people and most of them wouldn't have confided in a neighbor or accepted help or suggestions from one. Everything in life is a risk or a benefit. Perhaps for them, the benefits of living together in their own home outweighed the risk of getting lost (yes I know that is a simplistic way of looking at it....just trying to make a point)

achot chavi · Dec 7, 2008

Not all parents were good parents. Maybe their kids are estranged from them. And the neighbors? Not many places these days where the neighbors would get involved. I've known many many elderly people and most of them wouldn't have confided in a neighbor or accepted help or suggestions from one. Everything in life is a risk or a benefit. Perhaps for them, the benefits of living together in their own home outweighed the risk of getting lost (yes I know that is a simplistic way of looking at it....just trying to make a point)

too true- just sad....regarding the lost part- I agree in holding onto their independence as much as possible until such a thing occurs.

Was it better when we all lived in one big teepee? probably not!!

TCRNCOB61 · Dec 7, 2008

My mother was just 64 when she died of unknown causes in her apt. She was not found for approx. 4 days. There are 3 of us kids, all 3 of us left home by the time we were 16 years old to get away from her. She was one of the meanest people on the earth. I would try over the years to get to know her and it would fail. She was just mean and hateful.

She was a hermit and had no friends that I know of. The only reason that the neighbor got the manager of the place was there was a package from the post office at her door for 3 days and that was not like her. She had died in her sleep at some point. No will, no life insurance. I had to pay for everything even after she died.

It's NOT always the kids fault! I can't tell you how much money I have spent on her over the years trying to make her life better because "I OWE her". I have had 4 years of peace now. I am sorry she died but she is in a better place. (other 2 kids could care less)