Lost a friend in the process...

Aquarius30 · Jun 12, 2008

That is really too bad and I can see why this heart breaking for you. Unfortunately some people cannot be happy for others:down:. Maybe she is feeling resentful and just needs some time to come to terms. She could feel really defeated right now. I know how hard it is to apply and be rejected. If she does not come around there is not much you can do. Whatever you do, do NOT let her spoil this extremely exciting time for you. This is a life changing event. Stay focused on school.

Congrats on your acceptance. :yeah:

JettaDP · Jun 12, 2008

I agree....don't let her ruin this moment for you. If she is truly so upset that she doesn't want to be your friend then she simply isn't a good person to have for a friend. I understand her wanting to be upset and sad about her rejection but if she was a true friend she would be happy for you. For her to cut you off as friend because of her massive jealousy is just absurd. Make some new friends that will support you.

Music in My Heart · Jun 12, 2008

I guess this is really just to vent, but I was wondering if anyone else has had a similar situation.
I had a really good friend going into applying for the nursing program. We were attending the same school, taking pre-reqs, and applied for the program together. Well, I was accepted, and she wasn't. Now, of course, she wants nothing to do with me.
I am genuinely sorry that she did not make it in the program, and really want her to see her dreams come true. I always feared that if she was not accepted, she would hold it against me, but thinking the worst, and it actually happening, is just upsetting.
Xoxo,
Angela

Angela, no real friend would be angry with you because you achieved something that she was unable to. Her trip is probably that you remind of her of her own failure to get in. That's her thing and you shouldn't take any of that on yourself. Let it go and move on.

Congratulations on getting in!!

RNurseAng · Jun 13, 2008

Thanks to all of you for your kind words. I know you are right and I will not let her ruin this for me. This is a dream come true for me, and I couldn't be more excited about it! It's just always hard when you lose a friend; or maybe better said in this case, when you find out that someone was never truly your friend to begin with.

Hotflashn · Jun 14, 2008

Awww, I am sorry to hear that. Like others have said, try not to let it spoil your celebration, you deserve to be happy and excited. Hopefully, after your friend's hurt and disappointment passes some, you may be able to reconnect. It might not ever be as it was, but you might be able to get through it. And if she does hold this againist you (out of jealousy or immaturity or just the inability to get past her loss) try to remember it wasn't really about you! She might need to just step back a bit and then she will come around. If not, then she wasn't a true friend. (Do I sound like a mom!? LOL) Sort of different, but I went through years of infertility and when I was trying desperately to get pregnant, a friend got pregnant, without even trying. I could barely talk to her for weeks. It wasn't that I wasn't happy for her, but I was just so sad for me, that I couldn't see past my own hurt. She felt bad, too, not just because I had pulled away, but because she had like "winner's guilt." So things were really strained. I eventually came around after my pity party, and she forgave me. She had a beautiful baby girl and I had a little boy. I hope that you and your friend can work it out, too. I have a feeling you will makes lots of new friends in NS, too. Congratulations!!

AtomicWoman · Jun 14, 2008

Congrats on your acceptance!

It may be that right now, seeing you or talking with you makes your friend feel dumb, or humiliated, or sad or just bad. It may remind her of what she *didn't* get. So give her a little time and a little space and see if she comes around. If she never "gets over it", unfortunately that means she wasn't such a good friend after all. Don't give up on her just yet, but don't waste your energy worrying about what she thinks or trying to "make" her be friendly again; this is her problem to solve.

shoebottom · Jun 14, 2008

Me and my best friend took all the same classes together and applyed at the same, I got in and she did not. I first got into LPN and then last week I got my RN letter saying that I got in. She did not get into either. She already had that tone of voice like she just knew tht I got in and she did not from the LPN letter. When I got the RN letter I did not even tell her for a week because I did not want to feel bad about it. Maybe she will get over it but I am moving forward for me and my family. I studied more, had better grades, better ACT, and did the research on nursing schools, she did not and wanted my answers for some of our homework. I think that I deserved to get in, not saying that she did not but she would have had to make changes or I think she would have failed.

Ashley

JustinTJ, ADN, BSN · Jun 14, 2008

A real friend will never root against you and will be happy for your success, even if they fail.

hiddencatRN, BSN, RN · Jun 15, 2008

I'm in the "give her time" camp. It sounds like her disappointment is just completely overwhelming right now.

caliotter3 · Jun 15, 2008

I'm also in the camp of "give her time to come around". If she doesn't, then you will be looking for a new friend. You also might look at this as an opportunity to offer her support in her efforts to get something going for herself. At least make the effort once. If she doesn't want anything to do with you, then you can say that you tried to be a good friend to her. No one can expect anything more from you. Good luck in school.

RNurseAng · Jun 16, 2008

I'm also in the camp of "give her time to come around". If she doesn't, then you will be looking for a new friend. You also might look at this as an opportunity to offer her support in her efforts to get something going for herself. At least make the effort once. If she doesn't want anything to do with you, then you can say that you tried to be a good friend to her. No one can expect anything more from you. Good luck in school.

Unfortunately, I have offered to help her research certain things and tried offering suggestions that I was considering as a plan "B," however, she told me that she didn't want my help; that I just make her feel stupid. The other day I tried calling to say Hi, very friendly, and when she didn't answer left her a friendly message saying I missed talking to her, and mentioned that maybe sometime soon we could meet so that I could get my four year old daughter's wallet from her. I never heard back from her personally, but the next day her husband dropped by my house and handed me my daughter's wallet. I guess this means I have my answer.

Thank you all for your support. From here on out I know I have offered myself completely, and I have to let go! I am fully focused on school and can't afford any distractions. This is one of the most exciting times in my life, and I intend on making the most of it!

Nursing school... here I come!!! *wine

Xoxo,

Angela