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Discussion

Joke notes

Last night was my 3rd over night shift in a row. I work 630pm till 7am and of course it can extend to 8am just depends...Anyway I felt delirious because I do not sleep very well when I am home. I literally have from the time I get home and have to return 9.5 hours and myself personally have to decompress when I get home so typically 4 hours of sleep per day, who wouldn't feel delirious?

After my big med pass I make my nurses notes. I got this goofy idea to make nonsensical notes and got a fit of the giggles. We all know doctors can write what ever the hell the want and we are expected to use good penmanship, and make notes that are redundant and obvious.

I soooo wanted to make up loony notes and see how long it would take before someone came to me and complained about the note. I did not do it, because I prefer to keep my job. So, while at home during my decompressing period I made up a bunch of silly fake notes. It was therapeutic and made ME laugh. I'll give you all one. You may not find it funny.

Pretend Sample note:

2300:Resident found on floor next to bed screaming. On closer observation residents head was found to be on fire. He then grabbed his urinal and poured the contents over his head. Fire decreased in size. I then used his pillow to suffocate the remaining flames. Contacted RP (responsible party) at 2240. RP stated "you have my full permission to suffocate him till death". Phoned M.D. 2245 obtained order to "suffocate resident by morning and e-mail postmortem pictures"

I would love to see some fake sample notes, this was fun for me. Give it a try we all need a laugh!

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    • Featured Replies

    That was a little creepy... Lol:nailbiting:

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    OP, please get some sleep!

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    I personally find it hysterical! More, please!!!

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    • Experts

    For the first six months of my employment at Cassius D. King Medical Center, I worked the day shift on the adult psych unit. We would tape report for the oncoming shift and read notes from the patient information sheet. This sheet listed the patients by room and bed and contained basic information such as the patient's diagnosis and doctor.

    On one occasion, the unit secretary noted on the patient information sheet that there was a broken bed in room 222A so the nurses didn't admit to that particular bed.

    While running down the list, taping and giving report on each patient from the information sheet, I included the patient in room 222A, a 36 year old male diagnosed with major depressive disorder:

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    For the first six months of my employment at Cassius D. King Medical Center, I worked the day shift on the adult psych unit. We would tape report for the oncoming shift and read notes from the patient information sheet. This sheet listed the patients by room and bed and contained basic information such as the patient's diagnosis and doctor.

    On one occasion, the unit secretary noted on the patient information sheet that there was a broken bed in room 222A so the nurses didn't admit to that particular bed.

    While running down the list, taping and giving report on each patient from the information sheet, I included the patient in room 222A, a 36 year old male diagnosed with major depressive disorder:

    Yea, you and OP need to go out for coffee. Somewhere...over there...far away...

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    For the first six months of my employment at Cassius D. King Medical Center, I worked the day shift on the adult psych unit. We would tape report for the oncoming shift and read notes from the patient information sheet. This sheet listed the patients by room and bed and contained basic information such as the patient's diagnosis and doctor.

    On one occasion, the unit secretary noted on the patient information sheet that there was a broken bed in room 222A so the nurses didn't admit to that particular bed.

    While running down the list, taping and giving report on each patient from the information sheet, I included the patient in room 222A, a 36 year old male diagnosed with major depressive disorder:

    This one is actually funny if you know your mattresses. The other? Not so much.

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    • Author
    I personally find it hysterical! More, please!!!

    I have several more, but I am afraid to share them since It was found to be a little "creepy". I have a dark humor. I should have known better. I like to make up silliness always have been able to entertain myself. I am glad you enjoyed it :)

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    I feel like charting - on people where nothing has changed - 'Still kicking', and that's it. Or 'SSDD', which you might be able to interpret, but I won't elaborate on here. Or for a few of those residents - 'Still a pain in the *** as usual'. But of course, we can only vent about it here...

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    • Experts
    I have several more, but I am afraid to share them

    Please, littlelimabean, share with us your joke notes.

    Here's a note I wrote to our Supervisor in an attempt to get an LPN, with whom I worked the MN shift, in trouble:

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    • Experts
    OP, please get some sleep!

    Back in the 80's, when I worked in Chemical Dependency Treatment, I learned different methods of altering my consciousness. One method was through Sleep Deprivation.

    We would have Weekly Team meetings on the Unit and one of us would take Notes on the Subjects discussed.

    This was my Entry for the One where I took the Notes:

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    I have several more, but I am afraid to share them since It was found to be a little "creepy". I have a dark humor. I should have known better. I like to make up silliness always have been able to entertain myself. I am glad you enjoyed it :)

    I'm all about creepy. :blink:

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    • Author

    Alright, everyone ready to be creeped out? I'll share another one, just understand that these are Joke notes. I love my patients, but still have an atypical sense of humor.

    2400: Resident up in W/C pleasantly confused, cooperative with staff for care and ADL's. I inquired if she was in any pain. She then stated, "my boobs hurt, I've got too much milk in them". Resident is 81 years old with end stage dementia. Attempted re-direct conversation and assist to bed. Resident then ripped her blouse and rolled into the hallway, yelling "someone please milk me"! I called for CNA assistance and CNA informed me that this is a nightly behavior and said, "get her baby doll from her room and apply to breasts while making suckling sounds". I then told this aide this only encourages this behavior. 2430: Obtained doctors order to throw milk on her chest (to give illusion that she has released milk) and if ineffective Dunk residents head in milk until struggling subsides.

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