**** I've seen

Some of the things confused elderly patients do with their poop...

One fellow who seemed alert and oriented on admission was later found rolling his BM into balls and lining them up on the bed table. I asked him why he was doing that, and he replied, "Because I can."

This is really gross: I was walking by a room where another gentleman was about to chow down on a handful of poo. I ran in to stop him and yelled, "NO!! Don't eat that!" Then he looked at his hand incredulously as if seeing it for the first time and said, "Holy hell, I thought it was chocolate!" Thankfully he let me clean him up (he had a reputation for being resistive to care).

Then there was the lady who had a very dry wit and was notorious for pooping only once a week. This was her norm, and she vigorously resisted any intervention to make her go more often. Needless to say, she had some REALLY large BMs, and this one night a CNA called me to the room to see what she'd produced. It must have been 5 pounds' worth, and it was in the shape of an exclamation point. I laughed and said that was the first time I'd seen anything like it.

"Well, I was going for a bow, but didn't make it," she retorted.

1 hour ago, Kitiger said:

I found my patient's dentures and her roommate's dentures planted in the pot of flowers.

Dentures.

Back in '98, I was working at Mixed Nuts Health Systems and would bring in my guitar from time to time for little sing-a-longs with the clients and staff.

It was late in the day and a couple of staff members and an elderly female client and I were sitting around a therapist's office just chatting and singing a song here and there. The client asked me if I knew "Your Cheatin' Heart" which I did and played while everyone sang along. At the pause between the second verse and refrain, the client began going into a long tirade about how her Ex had cheated on her. I kept strumming my guitar throughout her tirade. When she finished, the whole group, as if on cue, began singing the refrain!

But about the dentures: During one particular song, the client pulled out her dentures, gave a wipe around the rim, scooped up what substance was there, popped it in her mouth and said, "Yum! Mashed potatoes!"

This is an unedited drawing from that time:

I find it rather peculiar that I'll be working on an art project, like filing old entries from my journals, when a subject comes up on allnurses which is along the lines of the project on which I'm working.

Back in 2000, I had a cancerous polyp removed from my colon. I did a couple of drawings of some rectal instruments having a conversation and this edited one exemplifies that peculiarity:

44 minutes ago, Davey Do said:

Dentures.

Back in '98, I was working at Mixed Nuts Health Systems and would bring in my guitar from time to time for little sing-a-longs with the clients and staff.

It was late in the day and a couple of staff members and an elderly female client and I were sitting around a therapist's office just chatting and singing a song here and there. The client asked me if I knew "Your Cheatin' Heart" which I did and played while everyone sang along. At the pause between the second verse and refrain, the client began going into a long tirade about how her Ex had cheated on her. I kept strumming my guitar throughout her tirade. When she finished, the whole group, as if on cue, began singing the refrain!

But about the dentures: During one particular song, the client pulled out her dentures, gave a wipe around the rim, scooped up what substance was there, popped it in her mouth and said, "Yum! Mashed potatoes!"

This is an unedited drawing from that time:

I just threw up in my mouth a little. Dentures are my nursing Kryptonite. EWW!