Is it worth it?

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I'm a pre-nursing student in my last semester at the local community college. I'm engaged and have a 1 year old. I plan on attending nursing school next fall at the University of Florida as a transfer student. My problem is my parents. They don't want me moving 3 hours away with my daughter without them there. FYI- I don't live with them now or have any financial support from them, my fiancée takes care of us and I'm currently a full time student. Another problem is the admissions at uf, they don't let you know if you're accepted into the con until June and if I want to go to school up there I'd have to be pretty sure I know what I'm doing since I have to move in April when my lease is up. My back up plan is to go to Santa fe in Gainesville if I'm not accepted into uf, if I had to go that route but I'd prefer to get the bsn. My parents dont want me "taking" their only child and grandchild away but I feel like I've made enough sacrifices as a parent that I want to go to my dream school for my dream job.

What do you guys think?

I am I being egotistical? Selfish? Are my parents right? Or should i follow my heart and grow more wings to show them i can do it?

Any advice or comments would be appreciated. I'm starting to regret this choice and would like more viewpoints. Btw my fiancée is supportive of me and he would like to move since both of us have lived in the same city our whole lives. And also I'm a decent student (3.87 gpa) if that helps.

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I am somewhat in the same situation. My parents are supportive of me being a nurse, but do not want to moving away. Your parents love you and the distance will be hard for them, but this is your time to improve life for yourself and your child. This move would only be for a few years and then you could always move back. I say go for it!!!

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Specializes in Psych/Mental Health.

You're so amazing to be so considerate and definitely not egotistical or selfish.

This is a decision between you and your fiancee. Since you're only going to be 3 hours away, just try to find an apartment with an extra bedroom and warmly invite them over as much as possible. Also, you and/or your fiancee could commit to bringing the grandchild to spend the weekend every so often. Tell them how much nursing school and a new environment would mean to you and your fiancee, and that you've already made up your mind. Just be firm about it.

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Thanks for the reassurance! I know it'll be tough to start and a big adjustment for all of us but I think it'll work out. My fiancée has some family that lives where we want to move so that will be helpful too.

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Specializes in CMSRN, hospice.

You sound like a great daughter (wayyyyyy better than me, lol - I cannot WAIT to move out!). Go for what you think is right here! If it's your dream school and you have the option of moving there, go for it - seize that opportunity! You don't say what your plans may be after nursing school, but there's always the option of moving closer to your parents afterward (depending on the job, of course).

It's wonderful that you are close to them and want to be so accommodating, but you are an adult and must make the right choices for yourself and the family you will be helping to raise and support. It sounds like you would be very fair about visiting them and inviting them to visit you, and you're certainly not just up and taking their grandchild away forever. I think they will grow into the transition OK if you are comfortable being firm about it.

Good luck!

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You can't live your life for your parents. Move and go to school if that's what you want to do.

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Specializes in Acute Care, Rehab, Palliative.

They are the ones being selfish. This is not about them .This is about you following your dreams. Yes they will miss you but it is your life. Three hours away is not the end of the world. Best of luck.

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Thank you guys so much. You're giving me more confidence that I'm making the right choice. I'll keep you guys posted in about 6 months after I move and if I'm accepted into uf's bsn program. I'm so excited :D

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Specializes in Oncology/hematology.

I understand your concern for your parent's feelings, but do what is right for you, not them. It is, after all, only 3 hours away. The thing that you will have to consider is the fact that a great babysitter will no longer be available to you.

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Yeah, they usually take her for a day on the weekend so I'm sure they'll miss that. But my daughter has an aunt, uncle and some cousins in Gainesville that would love to help us out with her and uf has a daycare on campus for students which is nice.

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MamaKate,

UF is a great school and Gainesville is a fun town with a lot of charm. I'm a little biased since I'm from the area! ; ) Santa Fe isn't a bad route either.

My advice is GO FOR IT! You have the support of your fiancee, and you will be setting a wonderful example for your daughter.

Your parents are only a hop and skip away...and who knows...maybe they'll relocate!

Best of luck to you.

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Thank you guys so much. You're giving me more confidence that I'm making the right choice. I'll keep you guys posted in about 6 months after I move and if I'm accepted into uf's bsn program. I'm so excited :D

Good luck!! I hope you get into UF! It's such a great school. :-). You might need your parents to take your daughter ever so often so you can have massive study sessions. Just remind them that they can be so helpful in that way. Nursing school is brutal-- not like regular college at all. You will definitely need a good support system. Don't put your dreams on hold. Go for it!!!

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