How to get through this?

Ceeceenumber3 · Oct 13, 2009

Girl I feel for you. I was in South Mississippi when Katrina happened. A lot of families had to move in with relatives short-term and then relocate. It took a while to rebuild the coast and there's still some places that haven't been rebuilt. People were amazing and understanding and pulled together during the crisis; and the government came in to give jobs and stimulus... I hope ya'll get some similar help...

leslie :-D · Oct 13, 2009

it is NOT your job to be a nurse.

you are a family member affected by a traumatic event.

i'm so sorry this has happened, tatara.

my bil is from the philippines, and know he has experienced similar tragedy.

prayers for strength, faith and healing.

leslie

tatara · Oct 13, 2009

This site really helps to keep me sane. I haven't yet slept for more than 3 hours since last week. I took a break from work and has been logged in here to keep my mind busy since I can only do so much.

Thank you.

daisymae0 · Oct 13, 2009

oh my I do feel for you. I know that helpless feeling that you are feeling right now. I sat one year ago last month and helplessly watched Hurricane Ike plow a path of destruction that left my grandparents and aunt houses in shambles. Then I spent 2 weeks in the aftermath and destruction helping them to recover what was left. I know that I am not the same person I was before I left to help out.

All you can do is take it one minute, one hour, one day at a time. Honestly there's nothing you can do but be there for your mom, listen to her, and let her talk it out. No amount of words can make it any better right now not with all the death and destruction that is going on.

If you can get there don't let everything that's happened get to you. You need to be the strong one. Your mom is probably hanging on by a thread. I know that my grandparents were. There is NOTHING like seeing 50 years of your life piled on the side of the road waiting for someone to haul it away to the dump. It's a nervous breakdown waiting to happen.

Reality is that you need to keep your strength and your health up so that when you can go you will be able to help out as much as possible. Remember just to put one foot in front of the other and things will get down.

Piggy27 · Oct 13, 2009

We have the same situation. My home in Pangasinan, Philippines is one of the few houses in the neighborhood that is not destroy. One way I feel I can help is sending a "balikbayan box" I'm shopping at second hand stores like gooodwill to find inexpensive clothes that are still in good condition, also I understand how you are feeling about trying to communicate, even now this is still stressful for me. Remember that tragedies like these had happened before and we Filipinos have the resiliency to always come through. Love and prayers

Tweety, BSN, RN · Oct 13, 2009

Best of luck to you and your family. I can't imagine how awful this must be for them and how helpless you feel. One day at a time.

Keepstanding, ASN, RN · Oct 13, 2009

i am so sorry this has happened. you are in my prayers.

praiser :heartbeat

Chapis · Oct 13, 2009

you are in my prayers and everyone affected by this.

(((((hugs)))))

Vito Andolini · Oct 13, 2009

I think it's probably harder for you not being able to physically get to your family, due to distance, expense of travel, landslides. You must rely on TV to keep in touch if the phones are down.

What helps me in times of crisis is to praise God because the Bible says that He abides (lives in) our praises. So we are to offer up the sacrifice of praise to Him. And when you are scared or angry or feeling other than joyful, it is definitely a sacrifice to praise instead of give in to the other feelings. But the reward for doing so is love, joy, and peace, also praising enables God to answer our prayers and petitions. Somehow, don't ask me how, but somehow, God moves when we praise Him, He is freed up to move on our behalf when we praise HIm. (No doubt, someone here will argue that God does not need our praises to act. I agree that he can most certainly act independently whenever He chooses. However, it seems to me that He wants us to approach Him in a certain way and that way is as I've described. This is just my view, my experience, not trying to force anyone to agree with me, just sharing what helps me and what I believe.)

I don't know where you live but there are tons of Christian radio and TV shows, probably these are on the internet, too. Immerse yourself in these and you will find strength to help in your time of need. Or get to your local church. Whatever the denomination, I hope you find a pastor, priest, or other minister to help you. Sometimes we just need to talk to someone. I just want your someone to be a person who can give you hope and joy (which is different than happiness), not bring you down.

Don't expect too much of yourself as far as being a professional nurse right now. When we or our loved ones are in trouble, we sort of are just human beings. When our kids or my wife get seriously sick or hurt, I'm not Vito, RN, I'm just plain Vito, scared father and husband. So be easy on yourself.

Gather together with some of the many, many Filipinos here in the States and cook food to send home or gather supplies to send. Being busy and being with other people is excellent therapy and provides a much-needed service to your family back home.

I'm really glad you asked this question. I will be praying for you.

allnurses Guide · Oct 13, 2009

I can't offer any advice just wanted to add my thoughts and prayers to everyone else's here.