Friday October 13 2023

Good morning! 

Joe, hope you have a good day at work.

I think the only vacation I've repeated was Asheville, NC.  Once my ex and I went up there and met my parents who live in NC.   Another after we broke up I went alone for relaxation.  It's drivable from where I live.  I have been to Bangkok twice as an adult and hope to go again.  First was part of a tour of Thailand, the other was part of a tour of SE Asia with best friend and it was just a couple of days in Thailand, the majority of the tour was Cambodia and Vietnam.  So many places to see, no time to repeat trips.  My next Great Adventure is in January 2024.  Stay tuned.

I think it's a nice gesture to pay for someone's meal or coffee ahead of you in line.  But personally I don't do it.  If I see someone in Disney eating a meal, they can afford it.  The money is better spent on charities that I support or giving someone homeless on the street a few dollars (not that they won't buy booze or a hooker..LOL), or the cheerleaders trying to raise money for something, but that's just me.  But still, I'd be happy if someone paid for a meal or coffee for me.  

I went to bed late for me at around midnight and slept deeply for a change. I thought it was early when I woke up but it was already 7AM.  I guess with it staying darker longer I was confused.  

Nothing much.  Have the sheets in the wash and will do some odds and ends and exercise.

Have a great day.  

Hi, Tweety and Joe, and those who come along later. Rain was forecast, but has been pushed out until tonight. I am fixing to go to sis's house to do some yard work. We went to breakfast together yesterday. She has started PT, does not feel a difference. They did Epley maneuvers for possible vertigo, no change. She has fallen 3 times in the last week. She is scheduled for a head MRI next week, and then is to be seen by an ENT. I have threatened to make her wear a helmet. 

While I was out riding this morning and dh was sleeping, one of the dogs dug into the arm of our loveseat. It is getting worn, but the arm was still intact. Grrr. I got a pen to put them in while gone, but they were able to climb out. Little devils. 

We are looking at taking one of those European river cruises next year. dh's cousins have done them, and highly recommend. I've never been to Europe and we should go while we still have our health. I would also like to take the ferry to Alaska. I like a travel mix of the familiar with new. I love Hawaii and San Diego, but both are rather pricey. 

Take care. 

Okie-dokie, here I am to give y'all the lowdown:

Hubby was started on Comfort Care today, which I spoke about with the NP, and with Misty on speaker phone. He is going to stay in the hospital at least through the weekend, "to see how he does". I believe he will slip away before 2 days are up.  There are no beds in the Hospice facility right now, anyway. He was so clear mentally today (the calm before the storm, y'know how folks will sometimes rally before the end comes) and he knows what is 'coming'. I told him "They are going to be giving you the GOOD drugs." and he smiled and said "Good." They put morphine in his KVO line, and when I left, he was starting to close his eyes and float. They are going to put a catheter in his belly to drain off the bloating/fluid so he won't have to keep getting poked with the needle; the nurses can drain it as needed. Between the Morphine and that, it will help ease his breathing. I am not sure if his dgt and the other grand-dgt (ie not the one who has already been here.) are going to try to come up here today or tomorrow. I hope they get to talk with him, but I'm not sure they'll be able to. Speak TO him, maybe.

He was still able to joke with the personnel at the hospital. One said to him, "Do you know what I am here for?" and he said, "Oh, yeah, aren't we supposed to get married today?" And he asked her if she wanted to wear his "sparring gloves" but she declined. When anybody asked him if he had any pain, he said "No, I'm fine." like he always does. That time he fell backwards down the 9 stairs to the den and sending  my chair-side table flying, he was quick to assure me that he was okay. 

I spoke with one of his doc's (resp?) briefly, he summoned me out of the room and told me that I was doing the right thing by stepping him down to comfort care, "It's time." he said.

I'll go over to the lawyers office on Monday and see about a few details. And I will put my down-payment for a "simple cremation" (as they call it), at the funeral home. And talk to the guy at John Edwards; he has been Nannie's financial person, and has talked with Eddie before. I will need a Financial Advisor. I looked on line about all the SS options for me, and thankfully there is an office right here in town, who will help me apply for hubby's SS. And when his check comes in on Monday (he gets direct deposit on the Monday before the third Wednesday of the month; I get mine on the Monday before the Fourth Wednesday) I will have to NOT use it or spend it. I think I can have the bank send it back to SS.

His daughter has done a turn around, in that she totally agrees that he deserves dignity instead of struggling. She thanked me for including her throughout this hospitalization and the decisions, said she appreciated me so much for allowing her "alone time" with her dad during the past few days, so she could say her goodbyes. She said, "You'll never know how thankful I am for you to be the one taking such good care of my dad."  I said, "Yeah, when he'd LET me!" ....and she acknowledged how that was how her dad was, "for sure".

I had to go to the pharmacy for my 3 shots ? and to pick up LARGE boxes of Nannie's disposables and  a few groceries.

When I got back, Nannie was still asleep in the chair. The sitter had the TV on one of those shows like Judge Judy (but another judge) so the minute she left I decided to see what else was on....I found an awful John Revolta movie from 2016 (I AM WRATH)...I had never heard of it, so I tuned into the last 15 minutes of it. And Mah Gawd, in that movie he wore one of the worst looking hairpieces I've ever seen on him! Right now we are watching Aretha Franklin and a choir in some Tabernacle sing a bunch of hymns and religious songs. I asked Nannie if she minded it, and she said no. Hubby hated this kind of music and singing, but I grew up with a mother who loved to listen to Mahalia Jackson and some black choirs. So, I gotta tell you, that listening to this is somehow comforting to me at this time; it's like having a bit of my mother around. Nice!

Okay, well, that's all for now. 

Stars, I wish you comfort and peace during the upcoming days.  He is indeed fortunate to have had you in his life all these years.  So glad his daughter is being kind as well.  I'm glad to hear that Mrs. Stars is going to be comfortable and won't be receiving futile care. 

Hello all. 

I enjoy hearing about your work and book clubs and travels.  We don't go out much anymore.  Daily routines and regular travel to the mountains is our life now. I'll share a photo from one of my flights around this time last year. 

I have a Morton's neuroma so I don't spend nearly as much time ambulating or standing as I once did, I prefer to bicycle.   My spouse is still a hiker, although hip and low back pain interfere with and limit those activities now. We enjoy riding our wheelers (4x4 Atvs) and snow machines when the air won't freeze your face off.  

My spouse has vertigo from time to time.  It arises from a couple things; floaty things in her ears or atypical migraines. Sometimes she can tell the difference right away because the inner ear thing often causes abrupt nystagmus and nausea while migraine symptoms are somewhat more gradual and may include an atypical aura.  She manages the migraines with diet, exercise, good sleep etiquette and sugar restriction.  She doesn't drink juices or soda or any alcohol.  She is a cancer survivor, so every episode makes her worry.  

Except to add an interesting note....in this Aretha Franklin documentary.....at the back wall of the room, there was a quick shot of Mick Jagger and Charlie Watts bopping and clapping. 

Stars, I am so glad that you followed the path of fewer regrets in the inclusion of the daughter in this process.  It's also such a blessing that your hubby was able to communicate his wishes and preferences with clarity.  

You are correct that the encephalitis and subsequent altered mentality may progress rapidly, depending upon the POC put in place.  

The hospice is now paying for his hospital bed and care.  I don't remember what the daily rate was, it's likely adjusted anyway.  They'll want to move him ASAP unless they are well funded. If his death appears imminent in a couple days someone should advocate for not moving him from location to location.  

I continue to pray that peace chases you down the street and forces itself into your day.  I pray that your needs are met in both surprising and ordinary ways.  

Thank you for sharing. 

I don't post much here, but I follow along daily and have since I was a member of a previous site with you all.

Stars - my heart has ached for you and your situation for a very long time. I am so glad you are finally getting help from the healthcare system and cooperation and respect from the family for your truly wise and caring decisions.

I know you still have a lot to deal with ahead, but I will continue supporting you and wishing for comfort and strength for you.

Hugs,

Kim

I thank ALL of you for being here for me, listening, suggesting, and helping me through this.....for YEARS, even!  It really does help to have a group of people to confide in who really understand. It sure has been up and down for quite some time, but I believe I've been getting ready to let him go, for quite some time as well. Didn't I even say that I thought I'd be a widow before the end of the year? Terrible thing to be predicting, but you guys know....when your antenna start feeling the....to use a French word, the frisson, you just KNOW.

Now it's a matter of when the phone call comes from the hospital.

Stars, you have been so strong and wise. I wish peace on you all, and comfort. 

Happy Friday the 13th. We got distressing news at work (RIF). Afterwards I started feeling sick to my stomach. Finished up what had to be done today and came home. Still not feeling so good, physically or mentally. 

Stars, I remember a short while ago saying that I had a feeling your husband was headed for a grim outcome and you seemed to understand that.   You can rest easy that you tried and did everything you could for him, and it's out of your hands and you have support.  Again, I wish you peace during these emotional and trying times.

TMB, lovely photo!  One of these days I'm going to Alaska on tour hopefully before it all melts.

Ado, not sure what (RIF) means, but so sorry to hear you're in distress.  Hope you feel better on Saturday.

A wave of depression hit me out of the blue Friday afternoon and I became lethargic.  I won't go into it, but I snapped out of it and just sat with it for a while.  Sometimes it's better to just acknowledge my feelings, explore them and not say that I should feel something else.  

I had vegan Taco Bell for lunch for a treat and it was good but probably too salty as my BP was 150/90 later.  Coincidentally a lifestyle medicine doctor I follow on instagram did a short live lecture on blood pressure.  I'm going try a few of her suggestions.  Later it was a more reasonable 132/77.  She said the goal was below 115 for ideal health and 120 or above was hypertension.  I'll never reach that goal.  Sigh......