debriefing

I've spent many years working in several different Neonatal ICU's. In all of those units, we only have debriefings if something exceptionally stressful or unusual happens. And when they have had them, most staff members don't come because they don't find them all that helpful. Experienced staff members have their own ways of handling the "routine" deaths and only seek special support when special circumstances are involved.

Many years ago, I was talking to a neonatologist about some research that showed that parents benefitted from meetings with the attending physician not only at the time of death, but also a couple of months later. He said essentially, "I can understand that. But we average 5 deaths per week in this unit. If I were to do a series of post mortem meetings with each set of parents, pretty soon my whole workweek would be filled with such meetings and I wouldn't have time to take care of any more babies. That's why we have other people to work with the long term support of the parents."

The same principle applies here. A new staff member may want and need regular debriefings to help deal with death -- but experienced staff members often consider such meetings an added burden to their already busy workweek. They have dealt with the issues surrounding the deaths of their patients and no longer need that type of support.

If you find yourself in need ... then I urge you to seek out those people (such as Social Workers, Chaplains, etc.) who run those types of meetings and perhaps they can help you organize one for those of you would like to have one. Just because the rest of the staff doesn't feel the need is no reason your needs should go unmet. Perhaps there are a couple of other staff members who would like such a meeting who are just waiting for someone to organize one.