Cursing in professional settings

Professional nurses need to think about the words they use when they are operating in a public, professional, setting. Cursing needs to stop!

I've been noticing something which I think is not good, to say the least, and in my thinking, does not put nurses in a capable, professional, or serious light.

Before I tell you what it is, I already expect that some of you will attack what I'm saying as 'racist', 'sexist', or similar diatribes, but, I ask that you at least consider & reflect on what I'm saying. This is not a personal attack, but, a glimpse into our own profession & professional standards.

I've been noticing that in professional or business meetings, many professional, educated nurses, mostly women, even women in leadership positions, will regularly curse as they're speaking to the attendees, some of whom are their direct reports.

By curse, I mean specifically using words such as, '****,' or '********', but most frequently, it's the notorious f-bomb\****' this or that, all without embarrassment or apology or even the slightest hint of regret.

Let me be transparent & acknowledge that I sometimes use 'hell' & 'damn' when I'm speaking with friends & we're just shooting the breeze. Sometimes, I even use those words when I'm listening to the news.

At times, I also use or write words like 'azz' or similar nuances in our social media culture.

But what I don't do is use curse words or other inappropriate & unprofessional language when I'm speaking in public & most certainly not when I'm in a professional setting, like a meeting or during a presentation.

Again, most of the people I see doing this are professional nurses, mostly women, who are educated, strong, capable leaders, with some tremendous responsibilities. Moreover, as I have scanned the room in these meetings, from as best as I can tell in the short timeframes, many attendees seem not to be bothered one bit by the language.

And it seems to me that many people are not even struggling with the seeming contradiction of educated women in leadership positions who are reverting to these crude behaviors, even in public.

Of course, I have not spoken to everyone in these meetings & I certainly can't read their minds. If you're wondering if I have ever asked any of the speakers who are using foul language to not do that, I have and one woman even responded with, "point taken," and then she said something else that I've been thinking about: she added, "I don't usually speak like that when I'm with my bosses or others, but when I'm with my own peeps, I just feel like I can just be myself."

Additionally, another attendee said, "Well, I don't mind at all, :****," as she was being funny & sarcastic.

I responded that I totally understand letting your hair down among your peeps, as I also am guilty of doing, but that it just didn't sound good or look good for a professional, educated woman, to use that language in a professional setting. My main focus was the professional setting; my second focus was the language.

When I was in grade school, my English teachers taught us, "If you have to use curse words when explaining or teaching something, then, your vocabulary is too small." I was also taught that there is a difference between public & private conversations, and I was expected to develop & use my vocabulary to convey concepts & ideas. I was most certainly taught that, "A lady doesn't curse in public."

Now, I am no prude and I am not suggesting that no one ever curses. Far be it from me, as I think curse words, like any other language, have their place in our large lexicon. But, just as everything has its place, there must also be a commensurate time & setting to express one's self.

As for this particular meeting, that's where we left it. Bu, I've noticed this phenomenon at different meetings, different settings, different days, different people, different roles, but, the same general professions-the medical & nursing professions. I think we can & should do better to not only uphold the evidence-based standards for our patients, but, we need to think about how we are portraying our profession on a day-to-day basis, at meetings, talking to staff, or in any public arena we find ourselves.

The media can pick & choose how they portray nurses. But, we are solely responsible for how we portray ourselves.

That's my story, in-my-never-to-be-humble-opinion. What say you?