Crazy Tales from the ED

dead neonate on the bathroom floor, was first responder. didn't really incite a smile :)

stage 4 breast ca eroded all of the tissue down to the sternum, necrotic flesh around it. (pt refused to have lesions looked at when they first started appearing)

Stomach pain coming and going...didn't know she was pregnant...delivered full term healthy girl three hours later :)

Not so unusual, but this lady was tiny. Poor thing got an NG tube and foley before the doc saw the linea negra.

Pt who came in because he had a mango stuck up his butt. This story will be forever talked about in our ER. People just love to put things up their butts! We had a guy the other day who was shot 6 times, twice in the face and came in walkie talkie. Maybe it was the adrenaline.

I had an old guy who had legs that were so gangrenous they looked like oatmeal on top of bone. He had them wrapped in trash bags and when I cut the trashbags off, the whole ER stunk like a corpse. Poor guy. Said the VA wanted to cut the legs off.... Um yes. I had to take a mask and coat the inside with chapstick just to clean him. Flesh was literally falling off on the chux. Omg. I felt so bad for the guy.

Who are you exactly?

The vast majority of my crazy er stories are not amusing. Kinda voyeuristic thread, no?

ahh well.. decided I really didn't like the thread.

First week on my own, 3pm to 11pm shift at a county jail.....1 Rn and 1 LVN for 500 inmates. Hear a call on the radio for immediate medical assistance to cell such an such. Walk in to a cell with three officers standing and watching an inmate sitting in a corner, blood squirting out of his L and R wrists and him sitting in a pool of blood, looking like a ghost! That was my first emergency response ever...5 years later and I'm still in corrections and love every minute of it.

Pt who came in because he had a mango stuck up his butt. This story will be forever talked about in our ER. People just love to put things up their butts! We had a guy the other day who was shot 6 times, twice in the face and came in walkie talkie. Maybe it was the adrenaline.

Sigh. Choose something with a base, people! We had an eggplant on our unit...